Am I bi or gay? (Not a problem either way)

[raggedmale]

This happened in Sydney. My gay friend had an erection when in hospital. I could see his erection and reached under the sheet and masturbated him. I'd never done anything like this before. We never discussed. Some later in his home he placed his hands on the front of my shorts and I responded by lowering them. This was my first sexual experience with a man. On the same day he began to tap my bottom with his hand and I received my first spanking. Since then I've been spanked by other men and had sex with them. I don't regard myself as gay or bi and don't look at men and feel attracted to them. I don't feel conflicted by this but at 60 this is all new to me. How normal is my behaviour? I ask this as a serious question and would welcome the views of others. Thank you

[MikeW]

This happened in Sydney. My gay friend had an erection when in hospital. I could see his erection and reached under the sheet and masturbated him. I'd never done anything like this before. We never discussed. Some later in his home he placed his hands on the front of my shorts and I responded by lowering them. This was my first sexual experience with a man. On the same day he began to tap my bottom with his hand and I received my first spanking. Since then I've been spanked by other men and had sex with them. I don't regard myself as gay or bi and don't look at men and feel attracted to them. I don't feel conflicted by this but at 60 this is all new to me. How normal is my behaviour? I ask this as a serious question and would welcome the views of others. Thank you

First of all, you have to look at this from our POV... we don't know you. You've come to this forum ... welcome BTW ... and asked us to sort you out. How can we POSSIBLY do that? Each and every one of us may have his or her own opinion but based on WHAT? One paragraph of text? A few words?

You don't give us much of a clue of your sexual history prior to the events you've mentioned.

But what does it mean to be "gay" or "bi" for that matter? You say it isn't a problem whether you are one or the other (or, I assume, neither). My point is that these are just words, ideas, concepts that people define differently. Right here in this forum I'd say there is no 100% agreement on the meaning of these words. For example, I identify as "gay"... that is to say, if someone asks me, that is what I tell them. That's how I think of myself inside my head. BUT... I was in 1o year long term relationship with a woman... and even during that time, when asked, I said I was gay (not bi). Why? Because 90+% of my sexual interest and attraction is focused around same gender sex. Now, my *relationship* that wasn't based solely on sex; it was emotionally based. I was in love with the woman and she was in love with me... and that (not sexual compatibility) was the foundation of it.

SO... I'm skeptical that we're going to be able to sort this out for you. What do these words mean to you? What do you feel comfortable with? If you want to think of yourself as a straight man who on occasion has sex with other men... what of it? Some gay men will say you're in denial... others will just shrug. NBFD.

Human sexuality is way more complicated than "gay/straight/bi" or w/e.

[CorsacReborn]

This happened in Sydney. My gay friend had an erection when in hospital. I could see his erection and reached under the sheet and masturbated him. I'd never done anything like this before. We never discussed. Some later in his home he placed his hands on the front of my shorts and I responded by lowering them. This was my first sexual experience with a man. On the same day he began to tap my bottom with his hand and I received my first spanking. Since then I've been spanked by other men and had sex with them. I don't regard myself as gay or bi and don't look at men and feel attracted to them. I don't feel conflicted by this but at 60 this is all new to me. How normal is my behaviour? I ask this as a serious question and would welcome the views of others. Thank you

It doesn't make any sense when you ask us to determine whether you're gay or bi and also tell us that you're not conflicted. As for asking if this is normal behaviour, we all have our own versions on what is normal and we don't know anymore then you have told us in your post.

In my opinion you definitely are conflicted with the issue of labelling yourself, otherwise you would never have asked the question of whether you are gay or bi. You may not feel attracted to them but you are attracted to having sex with guys, it just sounds like you're not emotionally attracted to men.

[InbetweenDreams]

Think of sexuality being more like a color wheel.

[raggedmale]

Thanks for the replies. I will read your history later Mike. Thanks for sharing.

I 'm married in my 60s. Before I masturbated my friend I'd never touched an erect penis. I would have identified myself as heterosexual. I was always primarily interested in women and never had any interest at all in men. I'm neither ashamed or embarrassed by my feelings or behaviour. I am what I am and wouldn't change anything. It seem to me that at 60 plus it might be unusual for a man to have sex for the first time with another men. Is this something that happens a lot? I don't know I thought that perhaps. I wanted to share the knowledge of others and I thank you for you replies.

I don't understand where te spanking comes from as I never experienced it when younger. But, that lots of fun also.

[InbetweenDreams]

Might be unusual but nothing I would consider outside of "normal" many guys go through a similar experience, might have just been something repressed...bottled up inside for years. Kind of like all those people who won't try sushi because they think it is nasty then they finally try it and like it.

[MikeW]

Thanks for the replies. I will read your history later Mike. Thanks for sharing.

I 'm married in my 60s. Before I masturbated my friend I'd never touched an erect penis. I would have identified myself as heterosexual. I was always primarily interested in women and never had any interest at all in men. I'm neither ashamed or embarrassed by my feelings or behaviour. I am what I am and wouldn't change anything. It seem to me that at 60 plus it might be unusual for a man to have sex for the first time with another men. Is this something that happens a lot? I don't know I thought that perhaps. I wanted to share the knowledge of others and I thank you for you replies.

I don't understand where te spanking comes from as I never experienced it when younger. But, that lots of fun also.

IDK but it sounds to me like you're a straight man who is, currently, exploring his sexuality outside that "straight" box. True, this might be somewhat "unusual"... but it certainly isn't unheard of. I've come across men who've identified as straight their whole lives suddenly, in their later years, feeling an itch to explore. It might even be more common than we think... given that it isn't the sort of thing most men would talk about openly. (Frankly, I'm of the opinion that same gender sex is far more common than is generally acknowledged but that's just based on my personal experience, not verifiable.)

[LJay]

The fact that you are an older adult may contribute to our lack of angst. Someone in their late teens may be going through enough of an emotional stew that they see things very differently. I sometimes think that we are wise not to assign too much meaning to events.

[MikeW]

The fact that you are an older adult may contribute to our lack of angst. Someone in their late teens may be going through enough of an emotional stew that they see things very differently. I sometimes think that we are wise not to assign too much meaning to events.

VERY VERY well said.

[Cuddly]

What I usually see here are "hetero" men who have lived.a lie and now (at .. any age.. Really) they want to dump their wife and kids to live the gay life.

That doesn't seem to be the case with you. We like what we like and that's fine. I don't know why you like spanking. Hell, I have no idea why I like what I do, how could I begin to guess about you?

Play if you want.. But remember you have a wife. play nice.