Oral Sex on Me. I am hiv positive on meds

[Anonymous]

I need to make a confession. I met a guy to hook up today almost after a year. I am hiv positive and have a CD4 of 786 as on March and I am continuing to be on treatment.

I have been horny for long, so met this guy, he performed oral sex on me but I didn't cum in his mouth but I am not sure about precum.

He wanted to rim me too but I didn't allow. Apart from that we just kissed and little bit of hugging and nipple licking.. I am feeling guilty why I let him suck me without condom though I did ask for condom in between for oral sex. And also I was telling him to go slow to make sure to be careful with his teeth so that I don't bleed.

I am really worried. I hope I haven't transmitted the virus to him. That's really unfair, irresponsible on my part. Yet having said that, I know that the risk is very very remote under any normal circumstances. And I also hope, I haven't got any other std from him (if he has any)

Unusual circumstances would be if he has a bleeding gum, sore or cuts in his mouth or tongue at the time of giving head to me.

I shouldn't have taken even one per cent risk with someone else's life. I have to give up sex forever if this what I am gonna do.

Do you think, he could be infected from me?

[Insertnamehere]

Under antiviral treatment your blood is less of an issue for him, but seminal fluid still contains virions and infective viral particles.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9854115

Although for preseminal fluid it seems the amount is quite low and no sperm cells (carrier of the virus too) have been found, unless you didn't urinate inbewteen "loads" and there was residual semen in there.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3564677/

(the discussion part here points out to 2 studies about HIV in preseminal fluid but apparently full texts are not freely available)

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1360583/

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1360584


So all in all there is a risk, the right thing to do here is for him to wait for a period and then get tested.

Which brings me to the question, does he know you're HIV+?

You should always be packing your own condoms and you don't need to give up sex but you can't be irresponsible like this about it, I think you know that.

[InbetweenDreams]

There is always a risk. That being said was he aware that you are HIV+?

The good news is that it is a low risk of transmitting the virus.

http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/risk/oralsex.html

At any rate in your case, playing it safe is going to be the best bet. Your partners should be on the medicine called prep I believe which prevents almost all transference of HIV. You will want to read more about it I don't do take it and I don't know much about it.

If your partner has gum disease/gingivitis that might increase the risk... Of course if he has gum disease he needs to go see a dentist and have what's called root planning and scaling done and antibiotics. Very important for their overall long term health, not just to have "pretty" teeth.

[LJay]

Get yourself to a doctor or HIV clinic and get educated. NOW. Tell your partner about the situation and make sure he understands what testing is necessary and when.

Folks here can be very helpful, as you can see, but medical professionals are the best sources of information.

A good scout is always prepared.

[Cuddly]

You need to tell him asap, if he doesn't know!!
He could get on PREP immediatly to reduce his risks and he needs to be made aware of his close encounter, so that he can wait andget tested.

[Anonymous]

Yeah..I got it sorted guys..I went to meet that guy and very very patiently explained him my situation. Of course he panicked, and got anxious. So I told him that I would take him to HIV clinic and put him on prep. Though I know, that he often meets ppl and he is not much concern about hiv. Anyway, 1st I will get him tested tomorrow for HIV ( just in case if he already poz) and then immediately puts him on prepcoz. Coz if he is poz already then he cannot blame me coz report doesn't come positive in a day. But I still hope he has not got from me or from anyone. Thank you guys

[Anonymous]

Btw FYI, I did tell him I'm the beginning about hiv status but he didn't pay any heed coz I guess he was not much aware about it.
That's why.So I explained him today in details then he got little scared but I calmed down once I explained him. I know there is no chance of transmitting coz I didn't withdrew in his mouth yet I want to be 100% sure

[InbetweenDreams]

If what you're saying is true and knew you were HIV positive and didn't care due to ignorance. If I were in your shoes I'd be worried about catching something else from him. To me that's a sign he's sleeping around with who ever who could have whatever.

More than likely nothing will come of it but this should be a sobering reminder about the risks, especially for your partner who you say often meets people. Anyone who fucks should have some knowledge about STD's and HIV. Not saying you have to be a medical expert but you should stop and think.

Being that you are HIV+ it would be very wise of you to inform your partner about the risks even if they're remote, because if they seem kind of dumb about it they probably are. I mean I have met people who couldn't point out North America on a world atlas. I mean it is a bit hard to imagine someone these days not knowing anything about HIV, but not everyone had sex ed or visits a doctor regularly to find out these about things like this.

So you need to be the bigger person and make damn sure they know what they're walking into before getting involved sexually with them. You can't expect everyone to know a whole lot about STD's, most people don't or don't think it is a big deal let alone know what can be spread and how.

[Darius]

Excellent advice and info from Insertnamehere.

BTW, Anonymous, would you mind telling us what country you are from? I am curious because of your partner's apparent ignorance of HIV.

[Anonymous]

[MENTION=21957]Darius[/MENTION].. Do you think, I would do that. Of course, I did tell him what is HIV and it is an incurable disease and it could spread to him . He was like least bothered.

Anyway, now the Twist in the Tale is. Today,While we were heading to the clinic, he stopped somewhere on the road and laughed hysterically and hugged me saying that I am too innocent and then confessed he has been positive since 2yrs.

WTF! I wonder how could someone in his 30's, marketing professional wouldn't know about HIV. And why he faked panic attack and anxiety?

If I could disclose my HIV status, educate him what HIV means and again educate him the next day and had a sleepless night..why he couldn't just tell me his status. Just can't believe it. I was being fooled.

I felt like breaking a brick on his head.He is feeling extremely sorry and asking for forgiveness now.
Done with all this shit.Cant trust anyone now.