20 y/o with questions (Sexual)

[Latitude22]

FJP999


1) For anal sex, how far in do you have to penetrate to reach the gland (or whatever it's called)?
(I just reach 6" hard and am wondering if It'll be an issue.)

Not an issue if you can find it on your partner.... finger can find it so no problem with a 6er.


Great, that puts me at ease. I wouldn't want someone I like to be disapointed.

2) If your partner has a larger penis than you, would he want to be a top instead of a bottom? Does package size determing top or bottom?

NO

3) During anal sex, can the bottom orgasm multiple times? If so, how does this work with cumming? Cum once and continue to orgasm?

bottom or top is not important... some men can have multiple orgasms with or without gaining a second hard-on. It may be more of a delay thing??? I often reach orgasm twice but again, it is a bit weird and may be a delay thing.

Alright, so possible but not *really* common.

4) If a top wanted to give more pleasure to the bottom, could the top not jack off the bottom while performing anal sex? Thus making the bottom cum sooner and potentially giving him a second orgasm etc..? (If anal can give more than 1 orgasm)

Sure.

5) Since I'm attracted to effeminant guys, I would most likely be whole heartedly given the role of top. One of my insecurities is my effeminant and bottom partner will have a larger penis - common insecurity amoung men. Do bottoms want huge cocks or whats the deal?

Depends on the bottom, get over your insecurity!

6) Say I met a guy at a night club. We hit it off, dance a bit etc.. We go back to someones place and have sex. Do I stay the night? leave? or what? Does a guy want another guy to stay or leave? Remember, this is in regard to an effeminant guy.

OMG, this is such a funny question... um, in regard to an effeminate guy.. um... he usually wants a muscle daddy to rape him, feed him, cloth him, pay for his sex change operation... things like that...

Sorry dude but someone gotta pound it into ya that every body is different and generalizations will get you only to a certain point...

Please dont take offense as there are NO stupid questions...

No offence taken, call me naive. I wouldn't want to be a jerk and leave if he would rather I stay. I'll just ask.

7) As we all know, guys can ejaculate more than once in a reasonable period of time. Is it common for guys to give oral to the point of climax and then preform anal later in the night? Top would have more staying power... food for thought.

Sure. I have gone on all nite for months.... six seven hours... "round the world" a number of dozen times...

Thats good to know.

8) Does the bottom have to do any cleaning procedures prior to anal?

In general NO. Go poo before you have sex and it will usually clean ya out for anal sex. There are NO guarantees so dont be surprised if you get a surprise.

I certainly wouldn't freak out or anything, it's good to be prepared for something like that though - know that it could happen etc.

9) How do you stop a guy from hitting on you in a club setting?

Depends on how far he goes... if he is chatting you up and it gets to a sexual point JUST SAY NO!
If he has his hand down your pants then you are permitted to step on his foot with your high heel.

You could also get a tattoo asking no one to hit on you!

10) I would assume that gay sex puts much less pressure on both participants to please the other. For example, if the top climaxed before the bottom during anal, all the top would have to do if give oral until the bottom climaxes. Is this true?

Well, the question and the example are a bit confusing... you are pleasing the other after cumming by giving oral. Very good manners.

11) Do gay guys find bi-curious guys MORE or LESS attractive? The idea being that he's primarily straight, kind of like a "rare treat" i guess one could call it. I would think that it would be more attractive because if I had the chance to sleep with a hot bi-curious lesbian I would.

ALL THESE LABELS... SCARY!!!

Word on the street with gays is that the MOST attractive is heteros, just married or with a preggers wife... if the kid is already born then word is that it is still pretty hot...

LOL - yea.

12) Is fingering/tongueing the anus a common practice? And do bottoms enjoy/want something like that done?

yes yes yes... just make sure you cut your fingernails or wear those gloves... if youre going to tongue then you probably should get your hep b shots.

Oh, yeah, not one mention of condoms... hope you have that question taken care of.


Thanks for the info!

[marshlander]

... I'll eventually try some "anal play" but I want to take things one step at a time in order for my mind, body and sexuality to grow. Things will fall into place when the time is right.

As Card Shark says, penis size has nothing to do with preference for topping or bottoming. I suspect that the majority of gay men are not exclusively "top" or "bottom" anyway. What's thepoint? That would be like trying to play straight

While I can see your point, and I'm not totally against being a bottom once in awhile; it certainly wouldn't be during the first few same sex experiences. It's all a matter of what I'd feel comfortable doing during the early stages of a relationship, if said relationship matures and I really trust my partner, I'd be willing to try bottom.

You are absolutely right. The key thing is when the time is right for you and you feel comfortable with it. I'd tried it a few times and didn't enjoy it that much to be honest, but for me the turning point was when I felt overwhelmed with love for my present partner and really wanted to give myself to him ... maybe that's a bit extreme, but we're all different


...

Why would you ever want to stop a guy hitting on you in a club setting? It is flattering to be approached. You are quite at liberty to say, "thanks, but no thanks" if you don't fancy him.

[SIZE=2]I would definitally be flattered but I just wanted to know how you guys go about doing it.

Same as you would with anyone, really. Start politely and most people will respond well enough. Sometimes you need more of a plan. I've had a couple of stalkers over the years, but being firm, polite and consistent has sorted it eventually, giving them time to get over their interest.

Just trying to soak up as much information as I can so I'm not "caught with my pants down" when the moment of truth arrives. (hows that for an awesome play on words)
It's better I get advice from an online community then learn from sleeping around etc. It's not all about sex but sex is a part of a relationship. I am also 20 so sue me for asking those questions.
[/SIZE]

Absolutely nothing wrong with that at all. That's one small service we can provide on here. If only more people asked questions than made assumptions

Make sure you are fully informed about safer sex too.

Good luck.

[sox-and-the-city]

I largely think everything i'm gonna say will have already been said by my truely peerless peers (i'm feeling lyrical today lol) but i just can't resist adding my own words here where i think they are maybe due:

1) It's like... three inches in or something?? Dunno, read about it somewhere, oh well. Important thing is it's a sad day when your penis is too small to reach.

2)No. Nononononononononononononooooooooo. I don't like the terms 'top' and 'bottom', i always go by 'big spoon' and 'little spoon', as do all my friends. That way you can have ridiculously explicit conversations, even when on public transport.

5)Guys have cocks, and every cock is different, just like every guy attatched to them is too...

6)You need to bear the situation in mind; Is this guy a slag or not?? Does he live with his parents?? Does he live in a crack den?? Are you paying for the hotel room?? If he kicked you out then then there'd be something kinda unfair going on...

9) Having a loud conversation beginning with: 'And so they were draining my pustules...' Tends to work very nicely.

10+11)Hunni, a 'rare treat' is getting let out of work like, five minutes eary or having a doughnut or something, NOT shagging some man. Sex with men who like women is the same sex you have with men who like men. If you're hot, you're hot irrespective. I find that generally if a guy is good in bed with one gender then he'll be good in bed with the other. They're a lot less different than i think people think. Maybe i sleep with guys who like girls too much... Sex with a man who is having sex with a woman at the time may be a turnoff, however.

[yero69]

Um open communication with your partner would be a starting point
ask him what he likes I know they don't teach this stuff
but really we are all different start talking it ain't rocket science
sex is always about the other person's needs and in turn you may find they will address yours

[marshlander]

... sex is always about the other person's needs and in turn you may find they will address yours

Not sure this is actually true ... however desirable it may be within a relationship. Masturbation is rarely about the needs of another person. Also are you differentiating between sexual and power relationships? The dividing lines can be very fuzzy sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Sex with a man who is having sex with a woman at the time may be a turnoff, however.

Sandwich - with him in the middle

[Phantom68]

This is my take on it. See below


QUESTIONS:
I'm being extremely open with these questions, simply because I know so little about what I'm asking about. Really trying to gain as much knowledge as I can. Greatful that there are sites like this to help people with their sexuality.

1) For anal sex, how far in do you have to penetrate to reach the gland (or whatever it's called)?
(I just reach 6" hard and am wondering if It'll be an issue.)

Size is not an issue at all. It is only in the mind. It does not matter as people enjoy and can orgasm even by just using the finger.

2) If your partner has a larger penis than you, would he want to be a top instead of a bottom? Does package size determing top or bottom?

Of course not. It is a sexual preference

3) During anal sex, can the bottom orgasm multiple times? If so, how does this work with cumming? Cum once and continue to orgasm?

You can multiple orgasm (cum consecutive times at interval) if you have the strenght, no matter if you atop or bottom

4) If a top wanted to give more pleasure to the bottom, could the top not jack off the bottom while performing anal sex? Thus making the bottom cum sooner and potentially giving him a second orgasm etc..? (If anal can give more than 1 orgasm)

When it comes to sex just do what gives you please first and foremost, the rest will happen naturally. And believe me you will be told, sometime using body languages what the other prefer or wants from you.

5) Since I'm attracted to effeminant guys, I would most likely be whole heartedly given the role of top. One of my insecurities is my effeminant and bottom partner will have a larger penis - common insecurity amoung men. Do bottoms want huge cocks or whats the deal?

IT DOES NOT MATTER!! Also do not assume that effeminate are bottom as I met many that are not and can give as good as they can get.

6) Say I met a guy at a night club. We hit it off, dance a bit etc.. We go back to someones place and have sex. Do I stay the night? leave? or what? Does a guy want another guy to stay or leave? Remember, this is in regard to an effeminant guy.

Again what has it got to do with being effeminate. You stay if you want to stay and if he want you to stay. It must be said that often, in casual sex, people tend to leave and not stay. In my case, when I was into casual sex I wanted the person to stay with me the night if they also wanted to.

7) As we all know, guys can ejaculate more than once in a reasonable period of time. Is it common for guys to give oral to the point of climax and then preform anal later in the night? Top would have more staying power... food for thought.

True. But I have been able to have long sessions due to the passion of sex rather than using specific techniques.

8) Does the bottom have to do any cleaning procedures prior to anal?

Text book will suggest that bottom do open their bowels 4 hour before sex. Sometime they can purcahse enemas from sex shop to perform a 'cleaning' operation but believe me it is not necessary most of the time.

9) How do you stop a guy from hitting on you in a club setting?

Just say I am not interested. And avoid eye contact.

10) I would assume that gay sex puts much less pressure on both participants to please the other. For example, if the top climaxed before the bottom during anal, all the top would have to do if give oral until the bottom climaxes. Is this true?

Or he can self masturbate. Look there are no rules in sex. I promise you. All this talking about what tops or bottoms should do is unnecessary and creates only anxiety. Do what pleases you and read the body language of the other person.

11) Do gay guys find bi-curious guys MORE or LESS attractive? The idea being that he's primarily straight, kind of like a "rare treat" i guess one could call it. I would think that it would be more attractive because if I had the chance to sleep with a hot bi-curious lesbian I would.

I don't know because afaik i never had sex with bisex. But then again they may have not told me.

12) Is fingering/tongueing the anus a common practice? And do bottoms enjoy/want something like that done?

Rimming (using the tongue aroudn the anus) is sometime common foreplay. You must check with the person whom you are having sex with if they enjoy it but, generally, many people enjoy that.


Thanks in advance to anyone who sheds some light on my questions.[/quote]

[jknutson1978]

Alright, I'm new here so I'm starting this with a backstory - If you don't feel like reading it just skip to the questions.

READ: I posted this on a bisexual/curious forum as well. These are legitimate questions I would like to gain some knowledge on. Please take them seriously. Thanks.


I suppose I had some signs as a younger teenager in high school of being a bit attracted to other guys but at that age it's quite normal to be curious. In high school I did masterbate a few times to the thought of being a top with a friend I knew. I certainly didn't act on the fantasy, just masterbated. I'm sure there were a few other signs that I didn't really pick up on at the time, seeing a guy I knew and feeling a bit "funny" inside but brushing it off (that type of stuff).

I was over weight In high school and had very little self confidence, this coupled with family issues could begin to explain why I am only *really* noticing my attraction to certain guys now - at 20. Since high school I've changed my life around, I exercise 6x a week, live a healthy life style and do as much as I can to keep myself grounded due to a fucked up childhood. Due to this, my self confidence is high and I've actually transformed into a really outgoing and entertaining guy. I'm out of high school and can really do whatever I want with who ever I want without the fear of being teased by classmates etc. High School really isnt a place where you can spread your wings and be an individual.

I've looked at the kinsey scale and would presume I'm somewhere in the middle of Bi-sexual and straight. I find more girls attractive then men. Maybe 80/20 split. However, after coming to terms more or less with the fact that I DO want to have sex with another guy, I havnt really been able to look at a girl in the same way that I could before I came to this realization regarding guys. It's really fucking confusing. making love to a PERSON arouses me more than a vagina or a penis. I have however always found oral and anal in straight porn the most arousing.

When i first started to realize my attraction I couldn't watch any porn at all, straight or gay. Once I became okay with my sexuality (more or less) I started to watch gay porn as well. As long as there is a femanine guy as a bottom I can get off. I have to play with myself a little bit more than usual to initiate an erection but I CAN get one from it. Vaginal penetration has never really got me up as much as Oral and anal sex has. I knew this long before I even realized I had an attraction to some guys.

One thing that's interesting about this realization is how much my mind has opened to gay sex. At first I told myself that I don't think I could go through with giving a guy oral, but I've warmed up to the idea (for example). It all stems from not wanting to sacrifice my masculinity. The testosterone that pumps through my body tells me to be the dominitive figure in the bedroom, while my mind tells me that I'd regret NOT trying something atleast once.

I've obviously never had gay sex but I suppose I would be a top. I only find effeminant gay/bi guys attractive. Almost the stereotypical gay guy, maybe a bit watered down but still femanine. If a guy is physically larger then I am I have no attraction to them. The guys I'm attracted to have to be thin and femanine - bonus if they have bitchen style. This is just personal taste but I found it really interesting.




QUESTIONS:
I'm being extremely open with these questions, simply because I know so little about what I'm asking about. Really trying to gain as much knowledge as I can. Greatful that there are sites like this to help people with their sexuality.

1) For anal sex, how far in do you have to penetrate to reach the gland (or whatever it's called)?
(I just reach 6" hard and am wondering if It'll be an issue.)

Size doesn't matter. It is how you use it. You can still give pleasure if you don't reach.


2) If your partner has a larger penis than you, would he want to be a top instead of a bottom? Does package size determing top or bottom?

No, it doesn't. One of my b/f's was 7.5" and my current one is 7". I am 6.5" and I am a bottom

3) During anal sex, can the bottom orgasm multiple times? If so, how does this work with cumming? Cum once and continue to orgasm?

It depends. After I cum, if we keep going, I can cum again, it will just take a little longer

4) If a top wanted to give more pleasure to the bottom, could the top not jack off the bottom while performing anal sex? Thus making the bottom cum sooner and potentially giving him a second orgasm etc..? (If anal can give more than 1 orgasm)

The top can just keep going after the bottom cums if they want

5) Since I'm attracted to effeminant guys, I would most likely be whole heartedly given the role of top. One of my insecurities is my effeminant and bottom partner will have a larger penis - common insecurity amoung men. Do bottoms want huge cocks or whats the deal?

It depends on the person

6) Say I met a guy at a night club. We hit it off, dance a bit etc.. We go back to someones place and have sex. Do I stay the night? leave? or what? Does a guy want another guy to stay or leave? Remember, this is in regard to an effeminant guy.

That should be determained before you go home with him

7) As we all know, guys can ejaculate more than once in a reasonable period of time. Is it common for guys to give oral to the point of climax and then preform anal later in the night? Top would have more staying power... food for thought.

yes, it is. I have had sex up to 6 times in one day once and we came each time in different ways. Both when I was with my ex and with my current b/f now.

8) Does the bottom have to do any cleaning procedures prior to anal?

it would help to shower first, and if you have to goto the bathroom, do that first too

9) How do you stop a guy from hitting on you in a club setting?

Tell him you are not interested or have a friend pretend to be your b/f

10) I would assume that gay sex puts much less pressure on both participants to please the other. For example, if the top climaxed before the bottom during anal, all the top would have to do if give oral until the bottom climaxes. Is this true?

It can put just as much pressure on both

11) Do gay guys find bi-curious guys MORE or LESS attractive? The idea being that he's primarily straight, kind of like a "rare treat" i guess one could call it. I would think that it would be more attractive because if I had the chance to sleep with a hot bi-curious lesbian I would.

again, depends on the person/couple

12) Is fingering/tongueing the anus a common practice? And do bottoms enjoy/want something like that done?


again, depends on the person/couple

Thanks in advance to anyone who sheds some light on my questions.

Hope this helps some. It is of course my opinion on your questions.