I need advice

[Anonymous]

This will take a minute to explain but your advice or thoughts are appreciated. I feel like I'm alone here and losing my mind. So this all started about 14 years ago when I got my first computer. I was a straight guy that never questioned that fact. I will never forget though the first time I clicked on "cumshots" when browsing through porn. I saw these women sucking massive cocks and at the end they had huge loads of cum hanging from their faces and in their mouths. Those images awoke something in me. Very quickly I realized that when viewing them I would always imagine I was the woman. I would sometimes try and cum on myself while watching cumshot videos. I was able to keep my urges at bay for a long time but a year ago I came across all these sissy trainer videos and captions. All I could think about was sucking cock. The trouble is that I am not at all attracted to men. I mean I want to suck cocks but I have no interest in kissing or cuddling or having them touch me. I've used some apps to try and hookup but I keep getting cold feet looking for the perfect first. Also I get really into finally hooking up and then the desire goes away and I feel really guilty. A few weeks later or months later it comes back and I find myself looking at cumshot pics dreaming of sucking cock. Am I crazy. What's going on with me. What should I do because this won't go away.

[IanSaysHi]

You're not crazy. And the guilt thing is natural from the way you've trained yourself to think you shouldn't like this, yet you do. You need to find an understanding guy and they are out there - one who understands what you want and what you don't want so you don't end up feeling more uncomfortable. I'd use your hookup app or site and be clear on your profile what you are looking for and to only contact you if they understand. That way guys should contact you if they can provide what you're after. Explain you are nervous and so they will need to be patient. Just take things at a pace you're comfortable with but I think you realise that you want to finally satisfy this urge to finally know what it's like. Best of luck.

[drobs]

Do some "research" on Glory Holes...
What you are wanting to do is not unheard of.

[matty7]

Not crazy just as Ian says - its a sexual urge and release just as any other type of sexual contact is, it just happens that this is what floats your boat at this point in your life , I wouldn't be ashamed of it as repressing it can create way more problems - except who you are and maybe find a guy who can provide what you are looking for

[Borg69]

Cocks are fascinating, and a LOT of fun. I can't see NOT wanting to play with them.

[princealbertofb]

I'd say you are naturally curious about what it would be like to experience this. Someone has mentioned glory holes. As usual I will be the voice of caution and remind you that you can get STDs or STIs from sucking people's cocks, especially in an anonymous arena.
It would be much better to find a partner in cream (sorry in crime) who would be glad to be sucked off but who doesn't want to hold hands or be cuddled. Men wanting sex with men but not wanting relationships are not such a rare thing. There are apps and hook up sites where you should be able to find what you need to quench your thirst. So maybe you will like it, and maybe once you've done it, you'll realise that it's not really your thing.

[MikeW]

...What should I do because this won't go away.

Sounds like you fall into the category of what I call a "bent" straight boy.

Trust me, you're NOT the only one. In that link I talk about one I'm seeing, "Tickle Boy," on a regular basis. There is no doubt in my mind that he is *straight* but there's also no doubt either in his mind or my own that he is "bent"... meaning that he has a particular kink or fetish that involves erotic experiences with another man.

We have formed a bond and a "kind of" relationship. Hard to explain. We're not exactly friends and we're not exactly lovers... (although as time goes on we're becoming a bit more of both in an odd way). What there is, is a high level of communication and mutual respect of one another's boundaries. This is what you need to get your head around. You CAN have what you want. BUT you have to let yourself have it without fear, guilt or shame. Of course you can't just 'drop' a lifetime of both... you have to begin to set up a situation where you CAN at least experiment with what you think you want.

Others here have made suggestions. The most important thing is to be clear in your own mind, and clear with whomever you're going to experiment with, *exactly* what you want and do not want. What you will do and will not do. Then you have to 'correspond' with the potential guy. Tickle Boy emailed back and forth with me for two weeks before we began to IM. Then, it took another week of IMing for us to agree to meet. He *really* checked me out to make sure I would ACTUALLY honor his boundaries.

TB has to get pretty smashed (drunk) to allow himself to have this kind of experience. I'm not recommending this, just saying that this is what HE has to do to get to a point where he can begin to let his inhibitions down enough to ALLOW himself to be touched by another man in the way he wants. At this point he's very comfortable with me... and he will even allow me to tie him down and blind fold him. But, again, this is what he wants... he just has to loosen himself up to get to the point where he can allow it to happen!

Don't know what would work for you (I'm not an alcohol fan, myself) but I've heard good things about Red Monkey.

Good luck and if you need more help or hand-holding, don't be afraid to ask for it here. Also, you don't need to wear a sack over your head.