I'm married

[East]

That could be considered strictly physical. I contend that there is also a moral dilemma involved.

My mom taught me....

This may be the case...and it would be for me...but I try not to define morality for such personal things for anyone else but myself.

[MisterMagoo]

When you marry somebody, you vow to protect them, to love them, to never hurt them.

There is never an excuse to cheat. Ever.

And using a wife to hide your sexuality is, in my opinion, pretty low.

[kindy64]

You know that's not what I said. Extrapolating from my defense of physical and emotional passion acted and felt on out of mutual consent and desire to apply to a situation where the act is forced on another against his will is perverse.

I'm sorry, even in the throws of passion, to say free will & control goes out the window is ludicrous.

[meridannight]

I'm sorry, even in the throws of passion, to say free will & control goes out the window is ludicrous.

To you. Not to me.

[InbetweenDreams]

I see what [MENTION=22879]kindy64[/MENTION] is saying... Free will is basically you are able to choose what you want to do. I could decide to get up from my desk, get in my car, go home and take a nap... I would be fired of course. There are consequences for my choice. The thing about rapists is that they have to be kind of messed up, their view of the world is skewed. I mean take a look at Ted Bundy's interview, you get an idea of how fucked someone can be.

Passion, moral compass, love, feelings all that stuff is what shapes what you do with your free will... How you feel about someone might determine is you go out and cheat on someone and whether you feel guilty about it... or maybe not, some people are psychopaths and don't care.

[kindy64]

I see what [MENTION=22879]kindy64[/MENTION] is saying... Free will is basically you are able to choose what you want to do. I could decide to get up from my desk, get in my car, go home and take a nap... I would be fired of course. There are consequences for my choice. The thing about rapists is that they have to be kind of messed up, their view of the world is skewed. I mean take a look at Ted Bundy's interview, you get an idea of how fucked someone can be.

Passion, moral compass, love, feelings all that stuff is what shapes what you do with your free will... How you feel about someone might determine is you go out and cheat on someone and whether you feel guilty about it... or maybe not, some people are psychopaths and don't care.

No, my point is, even in the throws of passion, men can say, no, this should stop and stop it.

The logical conclusion (whether intended or not) to "Men can't always control themselves, nor should they, actually," is that some men are going to use that as justification to commit heinous acts against others (as if they needed justification.)

Or is it that men are just so unbalanced under the throws of passion, that they can't control what's in their pants, and where it goes?

[InbetweenDreams]

I think question is whether it is lack of passion or lack of faculties (drunk, nutcase). I think either or can be true... So I think either men are either unbalanced already or in a moment are unbalanced... we are ever changing about how we feel about things, at least people who are tending to be uncertain about things. There are people who are certain and don't change, but I think we as people tend to be more impressionable. I think many guys can be persuaded to do things that they shouldn't do.. I mean a lot of people smoke knowing it is going to cause lung cancer....just keep on puffing away.

Men can't always control themselves, nor should they, actually. Life is not so simple as ''that guy is married, which means I can't touch his pelvic parts''. People do what they have to do. Men feel, men have hopes, and desires. It is not something one needs to justify. It's something that is.

If you ask me I think isn't a matter of can you, you could, you could have sex with a married guy. Maybe nothing ever comes of it. The question is should you, does your desires, dreams and hopes weigh more than possibly unraveling someone family. I mean if were a big flirt and flirted around a guy who's married, drunk and in the closet... I'm thinking more often than enough probably could end up sleeping with them.

It wasn't all to long ago we had that thread, which was removed I believe, who purposefully targeted men who had boyfriends (or allegedly so). The argument was that it takes two to cheat. While that's true, I do feel that in a lot of cases guys wouldn't be cheating if they didn't get drunk that night or was targeted by another guy as if they're a trophy. Then well, there are plenty of guys who seek to cheat too so...

So I see that passion in a lot cases simply isn't there to begin with and other times it just complicated, as much as we want to say things are black and white, they aren't. People can get stuck in some rotten situations. Which renders them no passion and no faculties.

[meridannight]

The logical conclusion (whether intended or not) to "Men can't always control themselves, nor should they, actually," is that some men are going to use that as justification to commit heinous acts against others (as if they needed justification.)

That is not the logical conclusion. Some men are going to commit awful things, justification or no justification. They certainly don't need help from me to come with an excuse for them, and they certainly can come up with the same reasoning as I did. Those who are affected, they also decide for themselves whether this ''reason'' is acceptable or not, and it might not end justifying anything.

The way I prioritize passion, and the way you understand it is different, so just leave it at that. This is a dead-end discussion.

[Beaux]

Everyone of us has done wrong, and in those moments before taking that wrong action we KNEW it was wrong and CHOSE to do it anyway. To claim otherwise is utter and complete bullshit. Period.
~Beaux

[NativeSon]

This may be the case...and it would be for me...but I try not to define morality for such personal things for anyone else but myself.

I tend to, but you're right. "F" everyone who isn't you.