So my boyfriend and I have been together 5 months. It is going very well. We have said the I love you and have been kind of talking about future. Although we are not rushing anything. I have met his friends and parents. So yesterday he brought up that he is very interested in a 3 sum. He said he would understand if I said no. And that he respects me. He said he kind if misses the chase but on the other hand is glad it doesn't have to be out finding someone anymore. We are in a monotonous relationship. Should I even consider it? Does it ruin relationships? Seeing I was even going to consider it I would want to wait a few years of course. Should I tell him I wiuld consider it in a few years? I don't want to loose him. But I don't feel our relationship is strong enough or developed enough for this. Advice?
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If you don't want one. Then dont have one, air your concerns to him and say you feel you don't feel like the relationship isnt developed enough yet. Because in the scope of things, its still a new relationship. In the early months. It should be nurtured and it will grow. Nothing tears apart a relationship faster than being forced into something you don't wanna do yet.
Honesty is the best policy. Always.
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I'm a : Gay Man in a Monogamous Gay Relationship
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Hey Jonathan, I'm afraid I can't tell you much about how threesomes affect monogamus relationships, so I'll let someone else advise you there. As for your relationship it sounds like your boyfriend isn't pressuring you or giving you an ultimatum. In fact I'd say it was a testament to how well your relationship is going that he respects you enough to be honest about something like that. Should you consider it? Well it sounds like you already have and that you need more time in the relationship, which is a good attitude. He's already told you that he respects you if you say no so you can't really go wrong, tell him that you'd rather discuss it in a few years when you both feel more secure in the relationship, and just be honest with him the way he has with you.
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I am married to a man and we have been together 30 years and our relationship has always been monogamous..and we had threesomes...and it was great for the most part. It added...not subtracted...from our life. Its been a long time since we did that ..not much interest anymore...but we are still having sex 2-3-4 times a week still after 30 years so it certainly didn't harm us.....
Two good reasons FOR doing it:
You get to challenge the definition of and the images of love that you have been brainwashed with all of your life and discover the difference between love and lust...a must for self actualization....
You get to overcome any insecurities you may have...and there is no better gift to give yourself....
There are alot of people that vehemently object to my way of thinking...and that is fine...just want to put it out there so you can consider it....
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OK guys, leave me to add this! [Kidding.]
I have never found threesomes to be so great, but your mileage may vary.
I bid NO Trump!
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Posts: 4,635
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Just for curiosity, Jonathan, what is your academic field?
I bid NO Trump!
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