Worst Date Ever - Better Judgement?

[InbetweenDreams]

I feel like I may have made a similar post once before but I think this one takes the cake and what really stinks about it...well for one messaging him and talking to him on the phone seemed to be a normal person. Until I actually met him I knew in 5 minutes I wanted the date to be done right away.

So before I go picking apart myself as to what the fuck was I thinking...seems to be a common occurrence dating these days... I'm going to bitch about the date.

First says he might need cancel that his nephew is sick and had to give his sister money for his medicine....Ok, fair enough, things like that happen and he felt bad because he, I guess, planned to buy my dinner. However, seeing how the events unfolded I don't think that was ever part of any plan. Secondly when I got there I had to wait about 15 minutes for him to come out the door... I should have drove off. I mean I think a good portion of people would have already been like fuck this guy. He gets in the car and not sure if it was because he smoked or has pets, but I'm pretty sure I smelled something that reminded me of dog dookie smell..something gross either way. It wasn't strong but enough to ruin the date, even if I wasn't already irritated. This guy talks about a mile a minute, mumbling and trying to carry on a conversation with me and when I say something he butts in with some nonsensical crap that doesn't even matter. If I had smelled pot on him I'd say he was stoned, especially later on. So we go to this Mexican restaurant, we order and well turns out this guy apparently doesn't know how to eat. Granted it is a burrito and you eat it with your hands but the thing is covered in cheese and re-fried beans, it's not a fucking pizza, use a knife and the fucking fork provided. He's got that shit all over his hands. Finally, asks for a napkin which at this point I'm embarrassed to be seen with the guy. I mean I'm not accustomed to fancy catered dinners where's there's enough silverware for a family of four at each plate, but have some common sense, you're in public. So if that wasn't bad enough I decided to have him over watch some TV and take his ass home... So I put on Rick & Morty, kind of a silly show but sometimes I think some of it is funny, well turns out to be his favorite show and this guy did nothing but laugh hysterically and snorted obnoxiously. This was an absolute fucking train wreck and I have been on some pretty bad dates before. This guy had zero class, no respect for himself and just oblivious to that he didn't have much for me either. To put the icing on the cake he heaves his clothes and wallet at my place. He also had an open bottle of vodka, just FYI illegal to carry an open container so he didn't' get that back. I would have chucked it all in the trash but the dummy's driver license and wallet were in there. So I ended up driving about 140 miles roughly on account of all this.

Now on to me... I don't quite think it is that I am desperate to date someone as I block, ignore all kinds of people all the time. I'd say about 90% of the guys who I come in contact with I never make plans to meet and a good portion of those make plans and don't adhere to them. The real problem is that I let way way too much shit slide, or I do now anyway. I mean once before I crawled up someone's ass for not returning a text, now I'm literally driving over the mountains for some goof who probably needs instructions on how to breathe. There were so many red flags and I was going way over what should have been conceivable to do on a first date.

The thing is I could have very well ended it long before. Frankly I should have left when I had to wait 15 minutes for him to come out the door, he had 45 minutes while I was on my way.

Just crazy and a bit ashamed of myself that I keep making the same, simple mistakes...simple as don't like it, leave. The whole giving someone the benefit of the doubt, or being ok with something that really should and does end up bothering me, it is all bullshit. For as much time I wasted, I may have just drove on to the coast and visited my sister again, fuck an a.

[Camfer]

yeesh, date from hell! Sorry that happened.

Next time, meet for coffee or tea in the late afternoon. If it's going well, have some other activities in mind, like eating dinner with a knife, fork, and napkin, for example. If it's not going well, you don't bring up any additional activities, finish your tea and coffee as quickly as you can, and get out of there.

When you meet someone for the first time in person, you probably know in the first minute if it's a go or not. A 30 minute first date is more than generous. A video chat before meeting can also prove helpful.

Seems to me the biggest mistake was inviting him back for watching a show. You already knew it wasn't working for you. Always a good idea to check your vehicle for misplaced belongings when someone exits your vehicle. Especially if you never want to see them again!

It's good you're putting yourself out there and meeting guys. In a sense, the date was successful if the goal was just to determine compatibility. You got your answer, a big huge NO! That is not a failure. Sometimes you have to meet in person to figure that out. Now you know. You can simply say, "Hey, thanks for getting together with me. I don't think we're a match. Good luck to you."

[LJay]

Damn, Axle! Sorry that happened. I met a guy once and he made me pay for half of a pizza. I left after the second slice when I felt his toes run up my leg. And it was lousy pizza. Your experience wins out for gross by a couple of marathon lengths! You are just too nice for your own good. Next time back out early.

[SilverBullet]

yikes :S
I dated someone a long time ago that was a pot smoker, it was crystal clear the second he got into my truck. And this guy wasn't an occasional smoker, he could put a train to shame. It went about like your date ^_^.

Why did you not simply expedite mail delivery of his things? No way in hell I would have driven that far to deliver his things he forgot (unless I liked him)... If he wants them, come get them, else wait for ups :S.

*Ill assume he had no vehicle thus you also picking him up? And yet his wallet had his drivers license which was important to him?" in any case O_o this guy sounds terrible


[MENTION=23180]axle2152[/MENTION]
"Just crazy and a bit ashamed of myself that I keep making the same, simple mistakes...simple as don't like it, leave. The whole giving someone the benefit of the doubt, or being ok with something that really should and does end up bothering me, it is all bullshit."

^^^ Dont say this, this is something you should be proud of, giving people the benefit of the doubt and being courteous even to someone that does something you dont like shows good morals/good heart and mind.
You even went further by delivering his stuff he forgot to him. ^_^ That was sweet

[IanSaysHi]

This is another example of why next time I date, I'm going to wait until I meet the guy through some medium like work, or on a night out, or I don't know, both reaching for the last jar of mayonnaise in the supermarket.

I've restricted myself to online dating and I've had one serious relationship out of it and I know other guys, including some here have great success stories. But otherwise I've been pretty unlucky with many a tale like the above. Many.

I must just add though that a lot of his behaviour sounds like he may have just been really nervous and acted the way he did in some cases as a result.

But yeah, mismatch!

[InbetweenDreams]

Well I decided to take his crap back so I could be done with him. I did not want him to drive back over. Ugh just pissed for having to drive basically 200 miles in total driving. He also passed out on the ride back I thought he was on something at first. I almost pulled over to check! Fucking ridiculous, just blows my mind that people like him exist. It was so bad that I thought someone put him up to it.

Yes, I way too nice. I should have left when I was waiting for him to come out. I allow too much crap, that's how I wound up dating someone who was a complete opposite of me. I mean not bad like this dipshit last night just not compatible.
[MENTION=19807]SilverBullet[/MENTION] Snail mail and UPS are too expensive and well UPS is over in the town this guy lives in... If his wallet wasn't in there it would have been going in the trash lol. Unfortunately I don't care for vodka because there's practically a full bottle of the shit.

But yes way too nice, this guy is incapable of appreciating anything. Now I got to spray fabreeze in my new car because he smelled of animal poo. It reminded me of this person who had a lot of dogs that weren't potty trained where they just had puppy pads all over the place, he reeked of it...and its in my FUCKING car! I need an passenger eject button....

I couldn't smell pot on him but yeah I'm sure he does. You know I used to do the shit myself but fucking hell I still kept my composure even when I got the munchies and I would never go on a date all blazed up acting like a damn fool. Additionally nearly anyone I dated who did smoke pot was a complete moron. They believed in a the misleading pseudoscience that smoking pot is good for you, congrats, this is why this country is going down the shitter. People literally have IQ's that are the same as their shoe size.

Compared to this guy going on a date with Bennett Brauer would have gone better....




You know, part of me feels like I'm being an asshole...the other part of me is screaming at me "No you're not an asshole, you're an idiot who allows horrible dates to go on when they should have ended.

Under normal circumstance I do keep it simple, then there's suggestions that we do something else, or "let's do a movie" or something and I just give in when I need to be firm.

For a brief moment I told myself I am done with being gay before realizing there are women who are the same or worse....somehow.

[InbetweenDreams]

Anyway, sorry if I sounded like a cold asshole, that whole experience made me very disgusted. Also kind of knocks one's faith in there being any decent people in the world.

Man I am tired today, basically driving for like 4 hours non-stop last night.

Mostly though I feel that my terrible experience was largely my own fault. I had plenty of red flags and warnings before I came to pick him up and more at dinner. So my friendliness, not ending the date when I seen what this guy was all about.

[Beaux]

Ok, maybe I missed something, but I'm confused. Why did you invite him back to your place if it was obvious that he didn't know how to act in public and smelled bad? Also, did you sleep with him? Because, I can't imagine another reason for him leaving his cloths at your house.

It is strange the difference a few years makes. I will be 45 next week, and you are 30, but we obviously approach dating from TOTALLY different prespectives.

I wish I could find the thread, but [MENTION=18508]East[/MENTION] and I had a good conversation a while back about sex and dating, and how our generation approached the two compared to the youngsters out there.

Personally, I don't meet ANYONE online. I meet them in person, and I require that we have sex at LEAST twice BEFORE I am willing to go on a date with them.....it weeds out most of the freaks, IMO.

~Beaux

[InbetweenDreams]

I felt like I was somehow obligated or pressured, as if not to hurt this guys feelings... I don't know why I do that, I suppose to avoid conflict....but for the times I get holding the bag of shit I probably shouldn't care so much.

I usually don't invite anyone to the house on a first date but it kind of got manipulated into that and then the deal with vodka...

To make it absolutely clear, I did not sleep with this guy, nor did I kiss or otherwise touch him.

Unless we go back some years I do not have sex with someone on the first date.... Even back then I didn't really have sex that often... Most guys simply aren't compatible then you have the guys who just want t get off and forget about you... So I am still kind of noobish in that regard.

My problem is that even when things are going bad, though usually not bad enough for me to want to push someone out of a moving vehicle, I try not to be mean on a date, especially when they're in my car or whatever the case is... I really debated on taking him back but I feared an awkward or otherwise bad ride back...well it ended up being awkward because he's passed out and hunched over in my car the entire time.

I guess I am the other way around. I prefer to date first then explore the sex, although I try to ask questions to figure out if that's even worth exploring...

The problem I have it seems that most guys aren't worth dating...or fucking for that matter.

[Camfer]

Here you go Ax, just keep this card in your wallet, and pull it out whenever needed.