Welcome to GS. It couldn't have been easy losing your mum to cancer but at least you know she is looking down at you with a big smile and thankful for the time you gave to her to look after her. I got bowel cancer atm and having radiotherapy for it. I know it wont kill me. But cancer is a mean thing that can rear its head at any time and it always happens to the nicest of people
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[MENTION=23873]MisterMagoo[/MENTION] It hasn't all been bad, I mean sitting here looking at it all in hindsight you could say that but I have been very very thankful that I have been given the gift of having her because for all I knew she could have very well not have been here today.. Part of my missing post was that everyday is a gift and it really is. I just kick myself for not treating each day with her as such...
"I’m not expecting to grow flowers in a desert, but I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime"
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Yes I know what you mean about kicking yourself.
Every minute of the day I regret certain actions I have made, or not noticing just how ill she was becoming sooner.
I feel regret that I din't spend more time with her or do more for her.
Of course this is just silly mind games I'm playing with myself as I grieve... but my god, it's hard.
You are in the position to make sure you have no regrets, and you seem to me like you are doing all you can with the time you have outside of work and things. Regret, and kicking oneself is just human nature.
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I did have regrets when my grandfather passed away. It was a sudden thing. He literally was fine one day and then dead in 48 hours. He had a brain hemorrhage, we thought it was a stroke and maybe he would pull through. It was about 16 years ago, about 3 days before Christmas when he passed away.
Granted I was like maybe 15? at the time.. But the thing I remember not so long before he passed away my sister and I at a shoe store of all places and me bickering about how she got such and such and so on... Just the instant realization that life isn't about things... I mean having cool shit is cool but it isn't life and today, it is ever more so easy to get swept into the commercialism and forget the things that really do matter. You really don't know what you have until its gone.
Anyway, not to upset you or anyone. We need to get out and live and make the most of the time we have on this spinning rock and try to learn and love each other.
"I’m not expecting to grow flowers in a desert, but I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime"
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Hi MisterMagoo,
Welcome to the forum! Yeah, this is a great place to share your thought,or just simply read others opinion and their discussion. I learn and know things a lot from this forum, though I am a passive member here..lol
I feel sorry about your mom. I have been worried about my father's health and the thought of losing someone always lingering in my head.... He's nearly 70, but I know my older sister and brothers hv been with him during my absence...if i got a chance, i really want to be near him and take a good care of him..
Anyway, I hope you are doing fine, and best of luck in your life!
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