Vegetarian boyfriend is driving me nuts

[Insertnamehere]

It almost sounds silly that something this...trivial?...could cause so much problems.

Of course, one can shove in one's mouth (yeah yeah) what one bloody pleases and if he doesn't get that, I dunno....

To put things in a general view, the problem is that he is unwilling to compromise. You certainly don't have any issues with his diet, it's only expectable that he'd return the favor. But, this almost seems like a militant faith and that kind of ideological stance is hardly ever compromising I'm afraid.

He needs to hear upfront that he's being very obtuse about something that is so ridiculously inconsequential to life and relationships. But I'm not sure that it will stick. But, if that is so, and him being in the knowing of your diet from the beginning, why even start something? He should have just searched for something that was more akin to himself, imo

[jimcrackcorn]

Tell him that his constant nagging about what you eat - is destroying the relationship!!!

If he still continues with the nagging,, then have him agree to seek Couples Counseling.

If he refuses to change his attitude or seek counseling, then start preparing to separate.

Relationships require mutual compromise,,, as in---you allow him to eat only vegan style & he allows you to eat meat whenever you want (that's the compromise)...

Best wishes,
Jimerooo

[kindy64]

Don't eat together. Tell him since he can't respect the choice you're making by eating meat, he can either accept it politely or not be in front of you when you eat.

[Gemini]

I don't know honestly. It'd be so stupid to end relationship over a food but if he keeps nagging me and bugging me all the time, if we keep having these pointless arguments regularly, if he continues to try to force his lifestyle upon me, I think that eventually it might kill everything I feel for him, as much as I hate to say it. I'm just a human and my patience is not endless.

I think that you pretty much summed things up here. Sad but true.

I'm vegetarian, and also involved in animal rights,. but I think it's totally wrong to impose my beliefs on others. But I understand how fanatical some people can be. I have an acquaintance who refused to eat vegan food because it was stored in a refrigerator that also housed my roommates' meat products. Evidently, the spirits of the animals were going to contaminate my lentils.

I've never had any luck arguing with fanatical people. My only suggestion would be to try to communicate what you wrote in this post to your bf --- the absolute waste of ending a relationship over an issue like this --- and how he's beginning to wear you out and erode the relationship.

[Camfer]

...if he keeps nagging me and bugging me all the time, if we keep having these pointless arguments regularly, if he continues to try to force his lifestyle upon me, I think that eventually it might kill everything I feel for him, as much as I hate to say it. I'm just a human and my patience is not endless.

Sit him down and tell him exactly what you wrote here. Get him to agree that he will no longer comment about your food choices, as it's all been said already. If he can't agree to drop it, let him know that it will negatively impact the relationship.

I had a BF go vegetarian on me. He never once commented on my food choices. Depending on the maturity of the people involved it doesn't have to be a deal breaker.

One more thought. Some (not most) vegetarians/vegans don't eat very well and suffer from nutrient and/or calorie deficiencies that really mess with their brain and personality. Meat eaters have it easy on eating for good brain function. Vegetarians have to be more careful to make sure they eat enough of the right stuff for optimum health. Your BF could well have a diet that is making him function in irritable, angry, authoritarian, or judgmental ways due to deficiencies. I've seen it. Many people do just fine on a vegetarian diet. Some people don't get it right and pay consequences for their food choices.

[Chase]

Don't ever brush your teeth just to kiss him. Get bacon flavored toothpaste if you can find it.

[LJay]

OK, Chase, since we are being obnoxious.

Are vegans who swallow still vegans/

[SilverBullet]

Make him some home made vegetable soup with BEEF BROTH MUAHAHAHA!!!

[Anonymous]

The beef soup would be awesome, LOL

[LONDONER]

If as you say, it affects every aspect of your relationship it does rather seem that you are not really compatible. You certainly need to have a long and deep discussion with him.