Would you date a Disabled person.

[artyboy]

Sorry, I meant caregiver.

Carer and caregiver are the same thing really. But I knew what you meant

[LONDONER]

True, but it shouldn't be taken lightly either.

I wasn't taking it lightly.

[Insertnamehere]

On a first assessment, I can say that if we hit it off, sure. No problem there.

Depending on the diasbility, though, I'm not keen on taking the caregiver role. I mean, not right away, cause who knows what can happen in the future and if I won't have to do just that.

But part of the reason why I don't want kids is precisely because I DON'T want that kind of responsibility on my hands especially with another living entity. I suppose this is the same here. But I don't know whether that person is even expecting me to take on that role to begin with!

[artyboy]

On a first assessment, I can say that if we hit it off, sure. No problem there.

Depending on the diasbility, though, I'm not keen on taking the caregiver role. I mean, not right away, cause who knows what can happen in the future and if I won't have to do just that.

But part of the reason why I don't want kids is precisely because I DON'T want that kind of responsibility on my hands especially with another living entity. I suppose this is the same here. But I don't know whether that person is even expecting me to take on that role to begin with!

From my point view of the disabled guy I don't want my lover to be my carer either.

[NativeSon]

Hey guys, this is a thread I do every couple of years to see what peoples reactions would be.

Why? I imagine the proof would in the pudding.

Variably, I prefer people who have positive outlooks.

[artyboy]

Why? I imagine the proof would in the pudding.

Variably, I prefer people who have positive outlooks.

What do you mean? I think it's an important thing to talk about. What's a point of a fourm otherwise?

[JustAperson]

yes i would

[Gemini]

Care given? In my case I've already got that sorted as I've got a personal assistant. I don't need a carer.

See, I think this is where it gets muddled for a lot of people. They assume that if you're disabled, , you'll need all kinds of help, eventually if not now, and they'll be the caregiver.

One of my uncles has a friend with Parkinson's. He needs a lot of help, but he has medical aides to do most of it. He says his wife is not his nurse, she's his WIFE. IDK, but they seem to have a great relationship, she flirts with him all the time and they still do "date night".

But he doesn't want his disability to be the focus of his life or of his relationships. When I dated that guy who'd lost part of his leg, I had to learn to NOT rush in to help unless he asked for help.

I date people, or become friends with them, based on how well we hit it off. I don't see why disability should enter into the picture.

[artyboy]

See, I think this is where it gets muddled for a lot of people. They assume that if you're disabled, , you'll need all kinds of help, eventually if not now, and they'll be the caregiver.

One of my uncles has a friend with Parkinson's. He needs a lot of help, but he has medical aides to do most of it. He says his wife is not his nurse, she's his WIFE. IDK, but they seem to have a great relationship, she flirts with him all the time and they still do "date night".

But he doesn't want his disability to be the focus of his life or of his relationships. When I dated that guy who'd lost part of his leg, I had to learn to NOT rush in to help unless he asked for help.

I date people, or become friends with them, based on how well we hit it off. I don't see why disability should enter into the picture.

The only help I need from a guy im dating is to help me get up straight (And not that you dirty bastards! lol) from a sit etc, but that isn't alway needed either.

[Emiliano]

A disability is not a deal breaker for me. But disability is a broad, general term. And honestly, the type of disability a person had would influence whether or not I felt comfortable about a serious relationship with or dating or just sleeping with them.

For example, I wouldn't in good conscious date a person who was severely mentally disabled. If someone is functioning on the level of a child, it doesnt mean they dont deserve love and affection, and Im not denying they have a sexual drive too - but I personally would not feel comfortable being the person to provide that.

For example, my brother is low functioning on the autism spectrum, mostly non verbal, and doesnt really have the skills to live independently - my mom is mostly his caretaker, but he also has a community volunteer assistant who comes in a couple times a week to give my mom time to herself, and I tend to help out a lot when I can too. It does make me sad to think that he may not ever have a serious romantic relationship, just like its sad for me to think he can't live independently. Maybe this is a horrible thing to say, and you can call me out on it if you want, but I say it from love for him and concern for his welfare, but I would be very cautious about any neurotypical woman who wanted to get into a sexual relationship with him. I wouldnt trust her intentions. Maybe I'm being over protective, maybe Im just being a cock block, but thats how I feel. I would feel much more comfortable if he were to connect with a woman who had similar abilities as him.

But for a person who has autism and is on the high end of the spectrum, I could absolutely see myself dating that person. I work very closely with people with disabilities, mostly autism. And I know a lot of advocates through the kind of work I do too. I think im well equipped with the skills to support a person with high functioning autism and their needs. And there are some sexy ass men I've met, and the fact that they are advocates and work to help and empower others is something Im very attracted to on top of however they look physically.

Physical disabilities are a little less complicated for me. If a person is more or less independent, I'd be open to it. Using a wheel chair, having low vision or hearing... those are not things that would stop me from being attracted to a guy.

But speaking as who I am right now, where I am in my life right now, I would not enter into a relationship where I would have to take on a caretaker role, for a mentally or a physically disabled person. To be honest, I am also flat out not interested in dating anyone right now. Getting into a relationship with anyone is a lot of responsibility that I just don't want right now. The emotional and time commitment is also not something I am willing to share right now.

When I'm older though, I know I want a family and a stable relationship. I don't see why a guy with disabilities couldn't be a part of that. I have had a lot of serious talks with my mom about the reality of having a kid with disabilities and I hope that eventually I will be financially stable enough to adopt kids, and theres a big chance I would adopt a child with disabilities.

Honestly a disabled man is not the first thing I imagine in my head when it comes to my dream husband, but that doesnt mean I wont meet a guy who could change that for me. Im open to it.