Are things moving too fast?

[Cagliostro]

I just started dating this guy over a week ago and I'm really happy but kind of scared too.

It's only been a week but's already telling people he's my boyfriend, he's always very affectionate, he kisses me all the time and loves to cuddle.

He's very handsome and that makes me nervous, he tells me I'm good looking, but I don't have perfect abs or sparkling blue eyes like he does.
He always says how he loves things about me (He loves my laugh, my voice, my "bedroom eyes") he's coming on really strong, he says he's "fancied" me for months ,it took me a while to finally flirt back.

With Christmas coming he wants me to come and spend Christmas with his family, is it too soon to do that?
He says I have to come and that he "won't take no for an answer".

I had already met them before we started dating and they seem really nice.
The thing is they live right here in London and I really don't have the money to fly home to New York for Christmas, but my mom wants me to come home anyway.

I'm falling really hard for him and I'm scared of getting hurt .

Do you think things are moving too fast?
Do I spend Christmas with him and his family?

[deephiance]

go with your gut.

Me personally, my gut would be screaming 'needy', and to be honest, if you are asking this question now, how do you think things will be when the 'honeymoon' is over?

Some people get a little too festive this time of year, and shortly into the new year when the festive mood subsides, things change.

BUT like I said, go with your gut and it isn't a bad thing that your are scared of what is or might happen.

[NativeSon]

Do you think things are moving too fast?

Isn't that for you to decide? He does sound a little gung-ho, but is that such a bad thing? Some people just aren't about pussyfooting. You say you've known him for months, and you're alone in a foreign country, so it seems pretty natural that he'd want you to spend the holiday with him. Is he close to your age, just out of curiosity?

[Darius]

The fact that you ask if things are going to fast probably shows they are. Nothing wrong with spending Christmas with his family unless it means not seeing your own family. If you are able to go home, I'd go home.
It's always a risk to fall for someone too quickly. Take your time, get to know each other, make sure this is something more solid. You were inexperienced before him and he was experienced, so you need to be particularly careful, since your first romance tends to stay with you, even if the relationship doesn't.
So, I'd say slow down a bit. What's the hurry anyway?

[Cridders88]

In my opinion, things do seem to be moving a little fast, but then this guy has fancied you for months, and you have now responded. To him, in his head, this may feel like it has been going on a lot longer.

As the others have said, only you can decide whether this is going too fast or not. If you feel pressurised or uncomfortable with anything he is suggesting, then tell him. Again, my personal view is if I had been dating someone a week and they are already suggesting meeting the parents (I know you have already but this will be now as boyfriends, at least in his eyes), I would tell him to slow down. It is up to you and how you feel though.

Oh and lastly, you keep saying that he has perfect looks (the abs, the blue eyes) and it makes you feel nervous and intimidated. It's important to try not to feel this way, focus on the fact that this guy is clearly very much into you, for who you are and how you look. HE finds YOU attractive.

[LJay]

"I just started dating this guy over a week ago..."

Whatever "dating" means. Have you had coffee? Did you go to a movie? Are you fucking? It's all "dating."

Of course she wants you come home for Christmas. She's your Mom. If you really can't afford to go home for Christmas, tell your Mom so and accept his invitation. A trip to New York is not cheap and she should be able to accept it. My Mom would have pestered me, made reservations and sent me spending money, but you have to make sure she does not spend beyond her means either.

Take it as it goes. If he thinks you look good and tells you so, then you do indeed look good. Even if you weren't "dating" it is a very nice thing fror him to do. It will certainly give you a chance to get to know him better. Be sure to have a present for him and especially sure to have a present for your hostess, perhaps a nice candlestick with some beeswax candles, or a good book about New York, or a set of really nice tea towels. If you want to go a bit further, you could get a board game for the family also. Whether you are ging for just the day or spending a night or so, be sure to send a hand written thank you note. His Mom will love you for it.

In the meantime, follow his lead and have a good time. Unless you think it is going to turn sour quickly, it probably will be fine.

[Camfer]

Yes too fast, but oh well, that's how it goes sometimes. You've known him for longer than you've been dating him. Have a fun time with his family in London on Christmas.

Your next problem: what are you getting him for Christmas? What will you bring for the family?

[Dan1980]

Taking things slow is the best, never rush in.

[Cagliostro]

Well he's certainly not needy or clingy, he's never questions me about where I am and is really good about letting me have my own life and spend time with non-mutual friends.

The thing is that though I want to go home, I don't have the money to do so,
(it's not just plane tickets my mom just wants me to charge everything to her credit card and pay it off later.
My family isn't in any debt, so we could probably just pay it off in a few months.

I an getting a little homesick and Christmas is my favorite thing about New York City (The Rockettes, the NYCB Nutcracker, The Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree, the windows in the department stores on Fifth Avenue, my mom's cooking, I really recommend you guys check it out one year if you can)

Of course London is pretty special during the holidays too.

I guess I'll be staying here, I already got tickets to see The Royal Ballet's Nutcracker (but it's probably not too late to change plans).

I just hope I'm not going to be a burden for his family.

He's extremely handsome and that intimidates me, whenever we go out other guys hit on him, the last time this happened he just kissed me in from of the guy, which I thought was sweet.

]Please let me know if you think I'm making a mistake.

[Cagliostro]

Isn't that for you to decide? He does sound a little gung-ho, but is that such a bad thing? Some people just aren't about pussyfooting. You say you've known him for months, and you're alone in a foreign country, so it seems pretty natural that he'd want you to spend the holiday with him. Is he close to your age, just out of curiosity?

He's only a couple of yeas older than me.

Well he's certainly not needy or clingy, he's never questions me about where I am and is really good about letting me have my own life and spend time with non-mutual friends.

The thing is that though I want to go home, I don't have the money to do so,
(it's not just plane tickets my mom just wants me to charge everything to her credit card and pay it off later.
My family isn't in any debt, so we could probably just pay it off in a few months.

I an getting a little homesick and Christmas is my favorite thing about New York City (The Rockettes, the NYCB Nutcracker, The Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree, the windows in the department stores on Fifth Avenue, my mom's cooking, I really recommend you guys check it out one year if you can)

Of course London is pretty special during the holidays too.

I guess I'll be staying here, I already got tickets to see The Royal Ballet's Nutcracker (but it's probably not too late to change plans).