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Flyerboy95 Wrote:Yeah that's very true.
I've just got to go on what I know already: He asked for a second date and he said I was everything he hoped for on the first date. Just got to take that at face value and see what happens on the second date - I for some reason fear he's gonna cancel it, despite him having said or done nothing to suggest he is. That's my mind on overdrive again.
Well I have had some really really bad dates, I have had guys be no shows... Hell I once drove 4 hours to go on a date and they were like who's getting the check...
Best not to think negatively, especially when there aren't any reasons for it...
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Guys I have something to ask. My friend asked me if I'd heard from this guy yesterday, and I said that I'd dropped him a text really casual, saying how manic work had been and asking 'any idea what you fancy doing on Thursday?  ' (our next date) - my friend said 'no wonder he hasn't replied, you just sound worried and intense again'..... guys does it sound that way? I sent it not feeling worried at all, just excited about knowing what we are gonna do on Thursday. I'm just showing a genuine interest in him and making an effort (something even HE said he looks for in a guy) but now I feel like I've potentially scared him off AGAIN 
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Hey [MENTION=24098]Flyerboy95[/MENTION], just because your mind has some stupid thought doesn't mean you have to follow it. Stop second guessing everything you do with this guy. Calm down.
If you guys are compatible it will work out. If you two are not compatible it won't. So be the best you can and let it unfold without over analyzing every little thing. He's just a regular guy living his life. Don't let your excitement think otherwise.
[... and okay to answer your question, your text sounded fine!]
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Just an update for you guys, the guy has cancelled the second date which was meant to be in a couple of days. He said he is really sorry and that is is no reflection on me but is because he is insanely busy after having his hours increased at work. He said he wants to reschedule to next week.
Must say I am a bit gutted, I was kinda expecting him to cancel just from how quiet he'd been over Christmas with me. But I guess he must be busy as he says, he's said it isn't a reflection on me, so surely if he'd changed his mind he would just say that and wouldn't ask to re-schedule, right?
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Flyerboy95 Wrote:... he's said it isn't a reflection on me, so surely if he'd changed his mind he would just say that and wouldn't ask to re-schedule, right?
Well, not necessarily, but you should know for sure in a week.
Some people are up front and direct when they are no longer interested. Others string you along until you are no longer interested. Some people truly are busy with work, family and the holidays.
So keep open and see what unfolds. In the mean time if some other cute guy asks you out, go ahead and say yes! Waiting around for a guy for a month at age 21 when you've had only one date would be excessive, no matter how great that date went.
Whatever you do, I don't think trying to pin him down with a direct question like, "Are you interested in me or not," would be helpful. It would scare him. You're doing just fine by being open to him rescheduling. You can be interested, but not too interested, if you know what I mean.
Hope it works out for you two.
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Camfer Wrote:Well, not necessarily, but you should know for sure in a week.
Some people are up front and direct when they are no longer interested. Others string you along until you are no longer interested. Some people truly are busy with work, family and the holidays.
So keep open and see what unfolds. In the mean time if some other cute guy asks you out, go ahead and say yes! Waiting around for a guy for a month at age 21 when you've had only one date would be excessive, no matter how great that date went.
Whatever you do, I don't think trying to pin him down with a direct question like, "Are you interested in me or not," would be helpful. It would scare him. You're doing just fine by being open to him rescheduling. You can be interested, but not too interested, if you know what I mean.
Hope it works out for you two.
He seems the type to be open and honest, so I hope that because of that he wouldn't just string me alone, but as you say time will tell. As for other dates, well I don't get any offers so that's not really an issue, but I don't think I would want to go on any other dates, because I'd rather focus my time and attention on this one guy I like a lot.
Yeah I have thought of asking 'Are you interested or not?' but it would scare him off I think as you say. Just have to see what happens over the next week.
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He also did set time aside last night after asking if I was free that evening, to text me for a couple of hours and ask how I'd been and ask about my christmas etc. I would imagine if he wasn't interested he wouldn't do stuff like that... hopefully anyway
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Flyerboy95 Wrote:He also did set time aside last night after asking if I was free that evening, to text me for a couple of hours and ask how I'd been and ask about my christmas etc. I would imagine if he wasn't interested he wouldn't do stuff like that... hopefully anyway
There you go . From what you have said, you have no reason to doubt him, at least just yet. The cancellation seems genuine. Indeed, a guy who wasn't interested wouldn't set aside time especially to talk to you.
I have texted people less over the xmas period. It's just because I consider it rude, whilst in the company of others, to be looking at my phone. So I'd say him being quieter over xmas is completely normal.
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Cridders88 Wrote:There you go . From what you have said, you have no reason to doubt him, at least just yet. The cancellation seems genuine. Indeed, a guy who wasn't interested wouldn't set aside time especially to talk to you.
I have texted people less over the xmas period. It's just because I consider it rude, whilst in the company of others, to be looking at my phone. So I'd say him being quieter over xmas is completely normal.
Thanks as always for your reply - I've given him some days I'm free next week and he's said he'll let me know, so I just hope he rearranges it now. I do appreciate how busy he is at work, I just hope if he means what he said when we first went on a date, that I'm special and he doesn't come across guys like me much, and actually makes an effort with me. I'll give him 100% effort if he makes time for me, I just want him to make an effort as well.
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Flyerboy95 Wrote:Thanks as always for your reply - I've given him some days I'm free next week and he's said he'll let me know, so I just hope he rearranges it now. I do appreciate how busy he is at work, I just hope if he means what he said when we first went on a date, that I'm special and he doesn't come across guys like me much, and actually makes an effort with me. I'll give him 100% effort if he makes time for me, I just want him to make an effort as well.
Naturally. Fair enough to want that . Hopefully he does. Let us know how it goes!
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Had a successful date (I think!)
