Should you take closeted gays seriously?

[JisthenewK]

I saw a friend on Facebook saying he doesn't take closeted gays seriously. Also if they aren't out to everyone they know and make it known everywhere they go, they're weak. What do you think of this. In my family, I have some supportive members, but as for others, I literally think if I told them, they would have a heart attack, but eventually accept me or they would disown me. I don't think it's always safe to come out to everyone and it's okay to disagree, but what do you think about this? Do you take gays who are closeted or gay people who don't mention sexuality a lot seriously?

[Doc]

Im closeted to everyone except the men Ive been with obviously, I think people have a right to do what they like. I might tell stranger just so I can tell somebody finally. I like to keep everything on an even keel so I dont want to rock the boat by coming out. I dont want to tell my family which is fine by me we're not that close anyway, but Im also a very private person in general. I want to tell my best friend but Im scared that he would be angry with me, not for being gay but for keeping a huge part of myself secret for so long, we've been friends for about 13 years.

[Pix]

If anyone chooses to embrace martyrdom or create unnecessary conflict simply because someone calls him or her weak for not making their private lives a matter of public record, then that person is weak. That person seems to think that all people have the very same circumstances which is not the case.

That said, I can see why someone out wouldn't have the patience to get too close to someone still in the closet when so many others aren't.

[Ibex]

Stupid. He was once closeted, and should remember how scared he probably was to come out of it.
"Hating" on closeted people is being an asshole.

[InbetweenDreams]

I don't have a problem with guys in the closet per say. I'm not exactly public about being gay, most people who know me probably know that I am.

When it comes to things like grindr I get the feel that a good number of closeted, or discrete guys basically see you as a piece of meat... I find many of them are married...which is a boner kill for me.

Now I seldom ever do hook-ups, usually when I do it is because I'm horny as fuck, but that's not really the point.

The other closeted guy is one who wants a relationship, a serious one, but no one can know and in public they will deny your existence. To me that's bullshit, it isn't fair. I get it someone might have a family not accepting, that's a hurdle I can get over, but everything and everyone else is taking it too far. If I can't sit at dinner with you not being able to acknowledge me or if every aspect of a relationship must be done in secret, I just can't do that.

There's just so many obstacles and problems with finding and building a good, life long relationship (if that is even possible these days) it is a lot to ask of someone to do that. I just see that sort of arrangement going nowhere....

[Jaycee]

I think people that say that about people that are in the closet are weak and cowards and judge mental pricks but that is just me. Some people do not want to come out of the closet and I respect that and anyone that puts those people down I do not respect them or give them the time of day but yet that is just me.

[Cuddly]

It is my opinion that being open about our deviant sexuality makes us seem more diverse and more like "normal" people. Because of this, I would like for everyone (who is not risking his life in the process) to come out. You're gay, but just as fucked up and normal as everybody else. We come in all shapes and sizes.

Closetcases are in direct conflict with the above, which is why I have an issue with people deciding to pretend to be straight for the rest of their life.
That and I simply loathe dishonesty
But ultimately it really is none of my business, I just believe it's best for both the individual and the community, if we're honest and proud - or atleast not ashamed.

Obviously coming to terms with your sexuality is a lengthy journey and I respect that. Coming out takes time.

[TwisttheLeaf]

The only reason I never took guys in the closet seriously is because I've personally never BEEN in the closet. This means anyone that wants to associate me is at risk of being "tinged" by my choices. Thus.... guys in the closet don't want to "associate" for fear of being outed by association.

At the same time? I don't shout from the rooftops, either. I live my life as I want to live it, just how I want to live it. And, if and when people are curious and ask, I'm open about my choices.

[Emiliano]

It is my opinion that being open about our deviant sexuality makes us seem more diverse and more like "normal" people. Because of this, I would like for everyone (who is not risking his life in the process) to come out. You're gay, but just as fucked up and normal as everybody else. We come in all shapes and sizes.

Closetcases are in direct conflict with the above, which is why I have an issue with people deciding to pretend to be straight for the rest of their life.
That and I simply loathe dishonesty
But ultimately it really is none of my business, I just believe it's best for both the individual and the community, if we're honest and proud - or atleast not ashamed.

Obviously coming to terms with your sexuality is a lengthy journey and I respect that. Coming out takes time.

This is how I feel also. I think the more "types" of gay men who are out and visible, the better it is for all of us.

However, I understand that many gay people across the world can't come out for fear of their life, and even more risk social, familiar, and professional repercussions for doing so. I think it's important to have empathy for people in those situations, and to respect that sexuality is a private and individual thing. There isn't a right or wrong way to be gay.

However, nothing gets better for anyone if people stay hidden and silent. I believe that members of marginalized and oppressed communities have a responsibility to maintain and build off the foundations generations before them fought and died to build. It's not that I have no respect for the people who remain in the closet, it's that I have tremendous respect for those who are willing to step out of it, because by doing so they make it a little easier for the next person to follow.

Silent and invisible is no way to spark social change.

[meridannight]

Do you take gays who are closeted or gay people who don't mention sexuality a lot seriously?

Yes. It's a personal choice and it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with weakness.