It's going too fast ...

[verysimple]

It took us three months chatting on Grindr, until we finally met a week ago...
the reason why he was so hesitant to meet me was cuz he goes to the same school I go to .. And he practically lives in an apartment that is a street away from my place.. Such an amazing coincidence.

He isn't from my town, he's from the capital but he had to rent a place where I live cuz he goes to med school at my university... He finally agreed to meet me after I sent him: "When are you actually going to grow a pair and meet up?!".. We set a time and a place and met. We chatted, connected and it all went well. The next day he saw me, the day after and the day after.. and it was all going great! Until he invited me to his friend's party .. I met his friends and we talked and one of his friends asked him about us, so when he told him we've been seeing each other for a week, his friend was like: "Oh, I think it's going too fast..!' I'm like, bitch how? I don't know what is really going fast here cuz we are just going out on dates and spending time together of about 3 hours a day...
Anyway, he agreed with his friend which doesn't make sense to me.. So right now, he is kinda pulling away or isn't as responsive as he was before when I talk to him ... I thought that maybe we're going fast cuz we are both putting expectations to be in a realtionship, or maybe cuz he introduced me to his friends and he told me that he never introduced ppl he dated to his friends...

So idk how to take it "Slow" ... It's just always with every guy I get involved with, it goes too fast ... I don't get why it does.. It just does... And it's always when I'm dating someone and I meet his friends, it just goes to shit.. This happens always, every guy I dated or attempted to date, we stopped dating after I met their friends... Like, WHY?? Meeting friends ruins the relationship.. It's bullshit!

Anyway, I could really use an enlightening advice or some guidance.. Cuz i don't know what to do here ..

[InbetweenDreams]

Yeah not sure what the big deal is, I mean if you guys just went on a couple dates I don't think that is a big deal but friends can really put an axe in things. I mean I have kind of learned better when to listen and when to ignore friends.

Just give him a little time but if he continues to pull back either he really isn't into you or possibly his friends have too much influence on him. I mean friends can be good at advice but following advice blindly can be a bad thing. Well if that's the case then well maybe try being a good friend. I mean think of it this way. If you met someone on gridr and just a few weeks you're dating then screwing and whatnot that's pretty fast for the intent of a relationship that you want to last forever, assuming that's the case. There's a lot to people, we often see only the good in people we like and don't pay much attention to the bad. I mean he might seem like a nice guy, just like every new car is nice....then the new wears off and the true colors come out.

That's why I say be a friend. You might meet someone else, you might find out that this guy is a prick too. Never hurts having some friends. Don't take it all so serious. Easy for me to say I can't seem to do all that either...

[verysimple]

Yeah not sure what the big deal is, I mean if you guys just went on a couple dates I don't think that is a big deal but friends can really put an axe in things. I mean I have kind of learned better when to listen and when to ignore friends.

Just give him a little time but if he continues to pull back either he really isn't into you or possibly his friends have too much influence on him. I mean friends can be good at advice but following advice blindly can be a bad thing. Well if that's the case then well maybe try being a good friend. I mean think of it this way. If you met someone on gridr and just a few weeks you're dating then screwing and whatnot that's pretty fast for the intent of a relationship that you want to last forever, assuming that's the case. There's a lot to people, we often see only the good in people we like and don't pay much attention to the bad. I mean he might seem like a nice guy, just like every new car is nice....then the new wears off and the true colors come out.

That's why I say be a friend. You might meet someone else, you might find out that this guy is a prick too. Never hurts having some friends. Don't take it all so serious. Easy for me to say I can't seem to do all that either...

Yeah, I'm not all that serious I'm just going with the flow and seeing how this goes... I'm just letting it go how it goes.. Not forcing anything into happening. Just letting it come naturally ... Sure, it would be nice to be in a relationship with him but at the same time, Whatever I'll have with him will be fine with me. We'll see how it goes ..

[Camfer]

Oh well, I don't think you did a thing wrong. He's the one who invited you to his friend's party, All you did was agree to go. Maybe next time you can just decline the invitation. Spend more time just the two of you, as things unfold. There's no rush to hang out with his friends again.

[Bookworm]

People can be possessive and overly protective of their friends at times. I'm sure many of us have experienced this in the past when developing new friendships/relationships. Their perception of your developing relationship can be entirely different from yours for a variety of reasons.

As the others have said, just take things easy and see how it goes for now and try and get some quality time in, just the two of you.

[verysimple]

Oh well, I don't think you did a thing wrong. He's the one who invited you to his friend's party, All you did was agree to go. Maybe next time you can just decline the invitation. Spend more time just the two of you, as things unfold. There's no rush to hang out with his friends again.

That's a good idea! I won't meet the friends of the guy I'm dating until a month or two.. Just until we know what we want and decide our relationship ... I hate when other people barge in on your relationship like they're privileged somehow. It's like, I didn't know I was fucking you along side him so that you feel so privileged to spurt out your stupid opinions and judgements on other people's relationships ..

[verysimple]

People can be possessive and overly protective of their friends at times. I'm sure many of us have experienced this in the past when developing new friendships/relationships. Their perception of your developing relationship can be entirely different from yours for a variety of reasons.

As the others have said, just take things easy and see how it goes for now and try and get some quality time in, just the two of you.

You're right that'd be better.. last time i checked, we're both adults and we make our own decisions . I know they might think they're helping but reality is, their perception doesn't mean jack shit to me.. It's our perception that matters I suppose.