My life as a gay in Russia.

[cormeum]

I'm considering leaving Russia, maybe not right now because right now I'm just a student and I don't have much money. Now I just wanted to mostly pour my heart out and tell everything I've never told anyone.

[BlueStar]

I am very concerned about your situation because I have been through a similar path. I just had the guts to pack up and move to France.

Some very liberal countries like Denmark, Sweden, and France grant citizenship more easily than other EU countries. At first you may consider getting a visa (preferably long-term visa), to settle down on your own. Then, I know LGBT people coming from anti-LGBT countries have the right to apply for asylum in these countries (which is my case). It often takes a long time until you get the answer and eventually be eligible to file for a residence permit that allows you to stay in the country for a long duration (1 to 10 years, and it can be renewed). You will just have to be prepared to explain the real dangers that were following you in Russia.

Otherwise, you might consider studying abroad. This would give you another strong basic to plan your escape.

In anyway, your have to read as much as possible to not miss any critical information. You need to start focusing on your escape because you will never be safe in your country. Start by getting a temporary job here if you don't have one yet, to put as much money aside as you can. It is not easy, but moving on your own, without counting on friends or family, is something you will be proud of for the rest of your life. I know I am actually.

[princealbertofb]

I have a passport. Or maybe you mean some special passport?

I don't have any country in mind to be honest. I've never even traveled outside Russia so I don't know which country would be the best for living in.

Maybe a gay friendly country and one of which you speak the language, or are willing to learn the language. Although Poland is part of the European Union, it is still quite difficult to be gay in some of that country and some countries that used to be behind the Iron Curtain. You could try Spain or Ireland, or Great Britain, or one of the north countries like Sweden, Denmark, Norway?

[InbetweenDreams]

I am very concerned about your situation because I have been through a similar path. I just had the guts to pack up and move to France.

Some very liberal countries like Denmark, Sweden, and France grant citizenship more easily than other EU countries. At first you may consider getting a visa (preferably long-term visa), to settle down on your own. Then, I know LGBT people coming from anti-LGBT countries have the right to apply for asylum in these countries (which is my case). It often takes a long time until you get the answer and eventually be eligible to file for a residence permit that allows you to stay in the country for a long duration (1 to 10 years, and it can be renewed). You will just have to be prepared to explain the real dangers that were following you in Russia.

Otherwise, you might consider studying abroad. This would give you another strong basic to plan your escape.

In anyway, your have to read as much as possible to not miss any critical information. You need to start focusing on your escape because you will never be safe in your country. Start by getting a temporary job here if you don't have one yet, to put as much money aside as you can. It is not easy, but moving on your own, without counting on friends or family, is something you will be proud of for the rest of your life. I know I am actually.

France... How many people speak French in France? Not sure how languages are in other countries. Not sure what languages the OP speaks but I can say sure is easier when you speak the language....for the most part anyway.

I think finding work is another one too...

[princealbertofb]

France... How many people speak French in France? Not sure how languages are in other countries. Not sure what languages the OP speaks but I can say sure is easier when you speak the language....for the most part anyway.

I think finding work is another one too...

Well, basically all people speak French in France (except maybe some immigrants who are kept away from the rest of the population). French is also spoken in other countries such as Switzerland, Belgium, Luxemburg and Canada, to mention only those. Even some parts of Northern Italy speak French (Val D'Aoste).

[deephiance]

This sounds like most western countries in the 1970's and 80's. Homosexuality was illegal and was listed as a mental illness in most western countries until 1979 and treatments were often as barbaric as electric shock treatment.

In those times, gay men and women survived, thrived...first as an underground culture to slowly rise and change the laws and the thinking towards homosexuality to the point today where where the biggest issue facing gays and lesbians is the right to marriage.

Our predecessors fought bloody hard and 100% of the time without internet and they succeeded.

It may not be necessary to emigrate, you can find that 'underground' subculture in your country and become a part of it and be part of the change into the future.

The constant questions about why you don't have a girlfriend, just tell them that you are not ready to settle down with anyone...if they ask if you are gay, just repeat 'I am not ready to settle down with anyone'. This way you are not confirming your lack of attraction to girls, you are simply stating that you are not ready.

Some people gay or straight feel they are never ready for a relationship, so telling people you aren't ready is not entirely a stretch of the imagination.

[Confuzzled4]

Historically Russian nobles actually learned French, and in present day there are some Russian citizens who pick it up as a second language, but I digress. It will be a long time before Russia is more accepting of gay people, and you would definitely be better off leaving the country. You will be happier somewhere else where you can be free to be yourself. I think Europe as was said, France, Switzerland, Denmark, would be the easiest option you have. I didn't know they grant asylum, but it means it's a lot easier than applying for a work visa or applying for citizenship. Also, it would be easier for you to travel from Russia to another country in Europe than the U.S. Of course if you want to come to the U.S. you should try, but it would still be easier if you went to say France first then tried to come to the U.S. I had a best friend from Belarus, and I think he may have been gay. His dad and stepdad are against it, and he always worries he won't be as good as his brother, so I think it forced him to stay in the closet, and this is him living in the U.S. for 21 years. I'm familiar with the Russian background because of where I went to school and who I have as friends. Please, please don't ever commit suicide when you have a chance to live a good life. You need to move, and it won't be easy but you will find happiness. You have people here who are willing to help. Best wishes to you.