Leo
01-29-2017, 05:29 PM
Well I thought I would share some thoughts about those who might be balls deep in a crush. It is kind of dangerous and often enough getting too carried away with a crush will almost certainly lead to heartache and disappointment.
I think the first thing someone needs to realize is what exactly they're dealing with and that what they're experiencing is, in the words of Spock, highly illogical. You're going to feel that your crush is the most wonderful and perfect person in the world, can't find a thing wrong with them and you're going to do anything to end up with them forever. Those are all nice thoughts to have and the thoughts alone aren't so much a problem... It's the smothering part, it's the impatiently waiting with your phone for the next text message and the constant hinting to them that you want to go to the next level, or just having expectations. That's the real bitch to deal with is being able to turn it down, but not muting it all either. Being rational while feeling irrational is much like juggling like riding a unicycle.
The next phase is the worrying and feeling insufficient, seems to be a common feeling. Feel like you're going to screw things up? If you don't keep a lid on your negative emotions you probably will by smothering them with your insecurity. As difficult it is to realize, even if you do fail with them and things do end happily ever after, there are other people and yeah doesn't fix the here and now but they're not the last unicorn, I can promise that. Although I can say from my experience, where I live and everything it sure takes a lot of convincing that's not the case.
I think the other thing is simply experience and having self control. It is easy to let your thoughts take the wheel and the next minute you're balling because he didn't text/call/message you this morning and he must surely hate you now. Sounds crazy to some but I'm willing to bet someone who's had a crush has been there... yeah don't share that shit with your crush... they're going to suggest mental help.
Keeping cool is hard, but you have to do it. You have to realize they have needs and hell maybe they're feeling the same too and are scared of rejection or that something about them is going to drive you off. While we're at it, how much do you really know about your crush? Do they want a relationship, do they see you in that sort of light? Ever thought about what they want? Kind of selfish wouldn't you say, having all these expectations of someone and not really know much about them.
The other part of keeping a lid on your emotions is to jerk off... Getting all wound up over your crush, about to crash and burn...go jerk off. If you want some rational thoughts about it for a short while that's the best answer. You can at least have a few rational thoughts like "well...we have only dated twice..." or "he does have an annoying laugh" I mean it isn't a cure but it does help.
The big point is that you have to realize that you're not thinking rationally and we are hardwired to yank out any negative thoughts we have about our crush. Seriously, find something you don't like about them.... take your time...still can't think of one thing I bet right? See, that's just how we humans are. So, take a deep breath, realize that dating and working into a relationship, or not, takes a long time. People tend to rush right into it and 8 months later their once crush is now the worst person ever. So take your time, even if it doesn't go the way you want it, if you keep your hat on you can always make a good friend and finding a life long friend is just as hard as finding a life long partner...
Anyway, hope this helps someone. lol I could probably stand to read over this a few times myself!
I think the first thing someone needs to realize is what exactly they're dealing with and that what they're experiencing is, in the words of Spock, highly illogical. You're going to feel that your crush is the most wonderful and perfect person in the world, can't find a thing wrong with them and you're going to do anything to end up with them forever. Those are all nice thoughts to have and the thoughts alone aren't so much a problem... It's the smothering part, it's the impatiently waiting with your phone for the next text message and the constant hinting to them that you want to go to the next level, or just having expectations. That's the real bitch to deal with is being able to turn it down, but not muting it all either. Being rational while feeling irrational is much like juggling like riding a unicycle.
The next phase is the worrying and feeling insufficient, seems to be a common feeling. Feel like you're going to screw things up? If you don't keep a lid on your negative emotions you probably will by smothering them with your insecurity. As difficult it is to realize, even if you do fail with them and things do end happily ever after, there are other people and yeah doesn't fix the here and now but they're not the last unicorn, I can promise that. Although I can say from my experience, where I live and everything it sure takes a lot of convincing that's not the case.
I think the other thing is simply experience and having self control. It is easy to let your thoughts take the wheel and the next minute you're balling because he didn't text/call/message you this morning and he must surely hate you now. Sounds crazy to some but I'm willing to bet someone who's had a crush has been there... yeah don't share that shit with your crush... they're going to suggest mental help.
Keeping cool is hard, but you have to do it. You have to realize they have needs and hell maybe they're feeling the same too and are scared of rejection or that something about them is going to drive you off. While we're at it, how much do you really know about your crush? Do they want a relationship, do they see you in that sort of light? Ever thought about what they want? Kind of selfish wouldn't you say, having all these expectations of someone and not really know much about them.
The other part of keeping a lid on your emotions is to jerk off... Getting all wound up over your crush, about to crash and burn...go jerk off. If you want some rational thoughts about it for a short while that's the best answer. You can at least have a few rational thoughts like "well...we have only dated twice..." or "he does have an annoying laugh" I mean it isn't a cure but it does help.
The big point is that you have to realize that you're not thinking rationally and we are hardwired to yank out any negative thoughts we have about our crush. Seriously, find something you don't like about them.... take your time...still can't think of one thing I bet right? See, that's just how we humans are. So, take a deep breath, realize that dating and working into a relationship, or not, takes a long time. People tend to rush right into it and 8 months later their once crush is now the worst person ever. So take your time, even if it doesn't go the way you want it, if you keep your hat on you can always make a good friend and finding a life long friend is just as hard as finding a life long partner...
Anyway, hope this helps someone. lol I could probably stand to read over this a few times myself!
"I’m not expecting to grow flowers in a desert, but I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime"
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