Farewell

[InbetweenDreams]

I have requested that my account be deleted. I've come to the conclusion that GS is no longer something that is good for me. I have a couple personal reasons, which I'm not discussing, but are very important to me and matter the most. The other reasons I have for leaving is the lack of moderation on GS, that's something every forum needs imo. We have a couple trolls on here who enjoy shitting on people when they're posting seeking advice and no one bats an eye about it. Basically though I spend too much time on here and tired of people jumping on my shit every time they don't agree with something I said over politics or race, and no not leaving because someone said I was racist, but doesn't help. This site is completely toxic and word games get boring. I need to find better ways to use my time or find a more supportive community.

[Aquarius]

I very much agree regarding the lack of moderation.
Thanks for your kind replies to my threads, all the best to you.

[Cridders88]

Sad to see you go, you do offer some really good insight to different topics and really helpful advice generally, but if you aren't feeling it, and it's not for you anymore, then it's probably a wise decision. All the best.

[SilverBullet]

I have seen allot of debates go on, and often I dont know if either side is really right.
But one thing that is always admirable regardless of side is someone that doesn't toss in the towel.

I had a gay friend ask me what I thought about drag queens not long ago, I said I went to a show but I hated it. Guys dressing up as girls nearly defeats the point of being attracted guys doesnt it?

He laughed and said I love them, not because of them dressing up, not because they bring a better life or do something amazeing for the rest of the world, but because thats who they are. They get out there expecting everything from support to ridicule and they do THEIR thing.

I absorbed that and had to agree, it takes balls for a big dude to dress up like a lady and dance across a stage .

Everyone gets frustrated, take a break and cool down. Walk away for a week and if you return to the same conclusion and decide your happier with out this site THEN do it. And there will be knuckle heads everywhere atleast here, when they get to be too much you can block them.

I know you have helped allot of people here, you give good advice often and you always manage to say things through YOUR lenses rather than simply what everyone wants to hear. Thats refreshing!

Now then one week away, chill out, r and r, if you are happier with ought this group then do what makes you happyest .


take a page from the book of a dragqueen, do you, but make sure its you and not a heat of the moment idea!

[InbetweenDreams]

I don't know if I should really go in depth but I'm severely depressed these days and I don't know why. But maybe it is because I've been cooped up in this house all weekend with nothing to do other than clean and a few other chores. But I constantly feel sad and that I'm going to end up alone because I'm going to screw up everything and every time I read a post about people trying to find dates or whatever I just sit here and think to myself how lonely I am and it just goes on to feeling unwanted, end I end up struggling to hold off from crying and crap. I just get to a point where I feel like my life has zero point to it. Before one of you guys gives me an 800 number to call no I'm not going to go try to kill myself, but I sometimes don't feel my life is ever going to pick up and go anywhere. I mean I know it's not a rational thing to think but god damn how much more time do I have to serve. I feel like I'm in prison. No one to talk to, nothing to do, no money, there's just nothing...just nothing. Then of course I come on here to kill time I guess and there's nothing but accusations on everything I said in some post...or I'm being trolled, or one of my friends are being trolled. I'm just tired and exhausted, tired of feeling like this. Tired of faking it, faking that I'm happy, or that everything is ok.

[Aquarius]

I understand your frustration with some of the forum members very well. I had them too 1-2 weeks ago.

But one line in your latest post gave me a thought:

If you say there's "nothing" otherwise, leaving GS would make you be around even more "nothing". But it's your decision, in German we say one shouldn't hold back someone who wants to leave for travelling.
Maybe it would be better for you to stay here, but rather work on how to deal with the trolls. I decided to put them on my ignore list and I just don't care about them anymore, though I wish we wouldn't have to deal with that. That's where I really miss moderation, like you said.

[SilverBullet]

I don't know if I should really go in depth but I'm severely depressed these days and I don't know why. But maybe it is because I've been cooped up in this house all weekend with nothing to do other than clean and a few other chores. But I constantly feel sad and that I'm going to end up alone because I'm going to screw up everything and every time I read a post about people trying to find dates or whatever I just sit here and think to myself how lonely I am and it just goes on to feeling unwanted, end I end up struggling to hold off from crying and crap. I just get to a point where I feel like my life has zero point to it. Before one of you guys gives me an 800 number to call no I'm not going to go try to kill myself, but I sometimes don't feel my life is ever going to pick up and go anywhere. I mean I know it's not a rational thing to think but god damn how much more time do I have to serve. I feel like I'm in prison. No one to talk to, nothing to do, no money, there's just nothing...just nothing. Then of course I come on here to kill time I guess and there's nothing but accusations on everything I said in some post...or I'm being trolled, or one of my friends are being trolled. I'm just tired and exhausted, tired of feeling like this. Tired of faking it, faking that I'm happy, or that everything is ok.

From what I have read, it seems your dug into a bit of a rut.
Ruts are not going to stop you long if you work them out, IIRC you have car and CC debt. Perhaps given a couple handfulls of months you will have dug yourself out.

And yes it may take time, it may take work, but its something you got to do. think of it as the enemy, point your frustrations to your credit cards. All your past issues are their fault, now attack them! (but not literally, or do) eliminate them and THEN evaluate your situation. Most people can live on their own with only a car bill, your smart and I have no doubts you can figure it out!

[InbetweenDreams]

Yeah debt is a problem, and yeah I'm working on it. Moving out and all that is certainly a move in the right direction. It's not solely the reason for how I feel. I guess I need more friends I can talk to...

[SilverBullet]

Yeah debt is a problem, and yeah I'm working on it. Moving out and all that is certainly a move in the right direction. It's not solely the reason for how I feel. I guess I need more friends I can talk to...

getting away from your parents would be a LEAP in the right direction!
I would probably be pulling my hair out :S lol you are proof there are stronger wills than mine hahaha.

[InbetweenDreams]

Yeah it would. If anyone has a strong will probably would be my mom. She has dealt with more shit than anyone I know between my dad, raising my sister and dealing with my dad's cruelty. If there was a reason I stuck around it is her, because there's no one looking out for her. At least that's how I feel. I mean she was supposed to have died 25 years ago due to the brain tumors she has... I spent most of kindergarten and 1st grade thinking with the expectation that my mom was going to die. That's a terrible thought and I guess it never left me. I mean that is effected me differently, I mean we're all going to lose our parents one day....

My thing is that I hate being alone. This virtual world doesn't cut it. Having my own place will solve a lot of the stresses particularly with my parents, but isn't going to fill the void. I need friends and people I can talk to. I spend so much time in front of a screen it isn't funny. I mean yeah I can go out for walks by myself and things of that nature. I don't know if it is the answer or not but I definitely feel I need someone to be able to talk to, a partner in crime I guess.