Your Best and Your Worst

[InbetweenDreams]

I'll start with my worst, cause it's easier.

I have a really hard time with the whole forgiving and forgetting thing. I don't forget bad things, grievances. I fact I have a really really really good memory for negative events, so it's hard for me to forgive and move on, etc.

I hold grudges and that is something I don't like about me. Sometimes I lash out to people because of it, so that's not good. And it's also unhealthy for me. Living with that anger, reliving all the bad situations in my head over and over...not a good way to live.

I mean, eventually I do...move on..sort of. At least I keep a lid on the bad memories. But it takes me way too long.




As for the best trait? Uhm.....I'll get back to you on that?

I am very much one to relive and think about bad memories of whatever.... but I seldom hold a grudge and I am very much forgiving. I don't stay mad about things for long although when I do get angry it is usually quick and pretty intense at times, but much better than I used to be.... You would think being forgiving and so on would be a good thing but not always.

I do agree that dwelling on bad memories is a bad thing and something I need to work on not doing...but staying busy and trying to keep distracted helps. It's kind of like training your mind and takes effort to consciously not do those things.

[himself]

A good looking ring finger is hard to find.

All the good ones are shoved up someone's ass.

[Emiliano]

All the good ones are shoved up someone's ass.

Oh my

[himself]

You would have known that had you listened to Beyonce. If you like it, put a ring on it. Everyone likes nice ring fingers. You really need to brush up on your Beyonce.

[Emiliano]

You would have known that had you listened to Beyonce. If you like it, put a ring on it. Everyone likes nice ring fingers. You really need to brush up on your Beyonce.

Lol ok, but I really must have misheard those lyrics. I always thought she said "put a ring on it", not "put a ring finger in it."

[Darius]

I hate best and worst kinds of questions because, for me, I might have more than one thing competing for those places and it hard to be so definite.
I would at the top of my list for best trait is friendliness and that I really like people. People fascinate me and make me curious about them. I especially like people who are different than me. I have only rarely run into people who don't welcome friendliness.
My worst trait might be how private I am. It's really take time for me to trust people and open up to them. When I do, I'm all in. I hate self analyzing myself, so I can't really say why I'm this way because I have never had any traumatic experiences that make me so. I have great parents, grandparents and great-grandparents, siblings and a very large extended family. I keep friends forever, many since before kindergarten. I don't even think it has to do with my sexuality, since that was not particularly traumatic, either.
If someone is my friend, my home is their home. My home is often full of people. If I am with someone I am just getting to know, it will usually be in a coffeeshop or restaurant where we meet up.
I could never do casual sex or a hookup, either. I think I function best with intimate relationships.

[Emiliano]

I hate best and worst kinds of questions because, for me, I might have more than one thing competing for those places and it hard to be so definite.
I would at the top of my list for best trait is friendliness and that I really like people. People fascinate me and make me curious about them. I especially like people who are different than me. I have only rarely run into people who don't welcome friendliness.
My worst trait might be how private I am. It's really take time for me to trust people and open up to them. When I do, I'm all in. I hate self analyzing myself, so I can't really say why I'm this way because I have never had any traumatic experiences that make me so. I have great parents, grandparents and great-grandparents, siblings and a very large extended family. I keep friends forever, many since before kindergarten. I don't even think it has to do with my sexuality, since that was not particularly traumatic, either.
If someone is my friend, my home is their home. My home is often full of people. If I am with someone I am just getting to know, it will usually be in a coffeeshop or restaurant where we meet up.
I could never do casual sex or a hookup, either. I think I function best with intimate relationships.

Thanks for contributing despite your hate of this type of thread. I don't think being private has to relate to trauma. I'm a pretty private person too, some people are just like that. Is that something you'd change about yourself though?

[InbetweenDreams]

[MENTION=21957]Darius[/MENTION] I kind of feel the opposite that I'm way too trusting and not quite so private...I mean I get a vibe from someone and go with it... I think being too open and honest with people just causes me grief or maybe I just have no luck...not sure to be honest. Not going to go into the details...

At any rate you seem like a really good and decent person and full of love...which is a good thing for this day and age.... My question is where are all you people at? lol

I know how you feel about the whole hookup and casual sex thing...I really dislike the idea even though I kind of feel that it is something I need...Tried to arrange one and ended up getting cold feet, just didn't set well with me and it sure wasn't because I'm not in the mood... But anyway, I rant too much.

Anyway, I don't think there's anything bad about being private really, less people know is generally not a bad thing. Spilling your guts to people seems to cause problems. I could go into detail, but I really think it is just what I choose and how I go about things that probably cause the problem... I guess I'm like a over wound wind up doll or something...

[Darius]

Thanks for contributing despite your hate of this type of thread. I don't think being private has to relate to trauma. I'm a pretty private person too, some people are just like that. Is that something you'd change about yourself though?

Oh, yeah, I forgot to answer your first question which is different than what you ask in this post. I would never do anything to lessen my best trait. It's best for a reason, afterall.
Would I change my worst trait? Maybe modify it. I always figured it is likely to be something that will change as I mature and grow.

[Darius]

[MENTION=21957]Darius[/MENTION] I kind of feel the opposite that I'm way too trusting and not quite so private...I mean I get a vibe from someone and go with it... I think being too open and honest with people just causes me grief or maybe I just have no luck...not sure to be honest. Not going to go into the details...

At any rate you seem like a really good and decent person and full of love...which is a good thing for this day and age.... My question is where are all you people at? lol

I know how you feel about the whole hookup and casual sex thing...I really dislike the idea even though I kind of feel that it is something I need...Tried to arrange one and ended up getting cold feet, just didn't set well with me and it sure wasn't because I'm not in the mood... But anyway, I rant too much.

Anyway, I don't think there's anything bad about being private really, less people know is generally not a bad thing. Spilling your guts to people seems to cause problems. I could go into detail, but I really think it is just what I choose and how I go about things that probably cause the problem... I guess I'm like a over wound wind up doll or something...

I hear what you are saying. Being trusting and not trusting enough are just opposite ends of the spectrum. We have to guard ourselves but being vulnerable to a point is also good. Life s full of risks and sometimes you just have to take a chance on love even if it doesn't pan out.

Are you saying you are just horny and want to have sex with someone...is that why you feel you need it? I've had sex with both guys and girls but always with people I knew and trusted. The danger can be that sex can mean nothing to one person while leading the other person to develop feelings because they place value on the intimacy. Does that make sense? It's a complicated thing.

Thanks for the kind words.