Relationship advice, feeling lonely

[Borg69]

I've heard Miami Florida is very pretentious with their modelesque gym bunnies? Perhaps you'd do better in San Francisco, Portland, or Seattle. They're more bear-ish and might appreciate your facial hair more?

[Bookworm]

If he's happy to hang out just as friends for the moment then that's what I'd do. Just play things cool for now and I wouldn't try forcing the relationship card. Don't get drawn in to 'drama with ex situation' but let him know you're there too if he needs to talk about things. It sounds like he needs time to work his stuff out.

[drobs]

Awesome Beard!!! You got a man bun? Maybe trim it up a bit.

I've been rocking the beard lately (since August 16) and am amazed by the amount of guys checking me out. Maybe it's Daddy Issues or that I'm on military base where clean shaven is the rule.

I was drinking with some Marines a couple months ago, had a Marine say to me - man if you had man bun, I'd F you right here... I was like "whoah doggy - by the way, don't kick my ass - I'm gay..."

Regarding the relationship issues - it'll work out. This might not be the guy but there are more guys out there. I was in your situation and picked up my partner up in a Gay Bar. A one night stand became a 14 year relationship. He's about 10 years older than I, but we're happy.

[InbetweenDreams]

All I am going to add is don't do what I did... Don't crush on a guy for a long time or wait around thinking this other person will grow on you. Chances are you will be disappointed. It doesn't matter what the circumstance is, learning that the other person doesn't share the same feelings as you hurts and there's not a damn thing you can do or any amount of time, nothing you can say or do that will change it. So yeah, give things some time, but don't wait around too long.

Also, if you want to have a big fucking beard do it, don't let anyone tell you that you should shave it off... Yeah it's not for everyone but neither is anything else.

[ShiftyNJ]

I have to disagree with your friends, bud. Biggest lesson learned in gay dating: Remove the neon-pink, blinking "LOOKING" sign. If you and this dude enjoy each other's company, focus on that, and on being fun to be around, instead of trying to categorize it or take to it to the next level before either of you is ready. Guys, especially when trying to get out of a bad situation, will back away if they feel like you're trying to pin them down.

If he's stated he's not ready for something serious, take that at face value, and if you enjoy being around him enough to do so on his terms, have at it. But too heavy, too soon is a buzzkill. If more is meant to happen, it will.

[Jason]

I have to disagree with your friends, bud. Biggest lesson learned in gay dating: Remove the neon-pink, blinking "LOOKING" sign. If you and this dude enjoy each other's company, focus on that, and on being fun to be around, instead of trying to categorize it or take to it to the next level before either of you is ready. Guys, especially when trying to get out of a bad situation, will back away if they feel like you're trying to pin them down.

If he's stated he's not ready for something serious, take that at face value, and if you enjoy being around him enough to do so on his terms, have at it. But too heavy, too soon is a buzzkill. If more is meant to happen, it will.

I have to say I think you're pretty well spot on. I think guys are generally bad at talking about feelings and I think guys also tend to get too excited.