in love with straight friend

[queer-python]

ok, due he fact that I typically write novels... this time I am going to resume the issue:
I am in love with my best friend who is straight and I do not know how to over it, he knows about my feelings and we have kissed twice (one I provoked and the second we were totally drunk) but he say to me that he is straight and is not interesting on guys at all.
I want to be his friend more than anything but I just do not see me with anyone else but him (pathetic, I know) and think I could not be in a relationship until I over the situation.

so, my problem is:
I need to over, kill, burn and bury my feelings about him and I do not know how.
Hope someone can help me...

XOXO, me.

PD: by the way, I do not know if this means something but if I have a chance to change all the tender, cute, emotional and passionate moments that I have once lived with any or all of my boyfriends, one night stands or friends with rights to be with brandon just one hour walking with honling hands, I will take the offer with no regret.

Thnx for read, hope answers or advices.

[marshlander]

I understand just how painfully distracting it can be to have strong feelings for someone who will never be able to return them. I don't think there is a magic and instant cure. It's a matter of giving yourself some time to move on meanwhile forcing yourself to get on with the other parts of your life as best you can.

Good luck.

[fredv3b]

so, my problem is:
I need to over, kill, burn and bury my feelings about him and I do not know how.
Hope someone can help me...

Unless your friend does something to really hurt you make you hate him (and he sounds like the kind of guy who wouldn't do that) then you can't just 'kill, burn and bury' your feelings for him. If they were genuinely felt feelings for someone worthy of them then they won't disappear that quickly. With time they will change from a 'future' that your heart still hopes for (despite your head knowing better) to a 'future' that your heart accepts was never to be.

[queer-python]

--marshlander, hope you have no idea what kind of pain it is, I do not desire it to anyone, is extremely hard see and be close to him knowing that he will never see me as more than a friend and will never love me as I love him

--maybe your right fredv3b, he do not do anything to hurt me and I do not want to hate him; kill, burn and bury was the first that come to my mind in the moment I write it but you have to admit: kill, burn and bury feelings are easier than stand and live in pain with them

thx both to respond.

XOXO, me

[marshlander]

--marshlander, hope you have no idea what kind of pain it is, ...

I didn't get to this ripe old age unscathed, my friend

... kill, burn and bury feelings are easier than stand and live in pain with them ...

Maybe in the short term, but buried feelings have a nasty way of coming back to bite you hard. Take care of yourself.

[Lightshade]

I personally wonder how straight he really is when you two kissed twice already.

All straight guys I know - and I have some really good straight friends I know since years - will never kiss a guy, no matter how drunk they are or how much I annoy them to do so...

[queer-python]

--well Lighshader, when we kiss was in a party, both were totally drunk with a fluorescent blue stuff and the most logical explanation is that he want make out with someone and the only one close was me...
I wish he would not do that, because that was two days after I told him I was into him and that make me thought he was into me too,
the second time we kiss was when I make him front about the kiss in the party and he told me he was straight and not interesting on guys... I try to kiss him and make him respond to my kiss and yeah, were lip contact but that was all..., he does not respond my kiss.

and now thinking better, I do have reasons to hate him... he make me thought he was into me and then he told me than he is straight and not interesting in me at all... kiss me was a mistake and who is paying is me, its just not fair at all.

[queer-python]

another thing, when I was taking a bath I think and I realize that all this crap that is happening could be my fault... I mean, if I would kept my mouth shut about my feelings on him, maybe he would not have kiss me that party and maybe my heart will be hurt by not tell him but not broken for being rejected.

what do you think?

thnxs, XOXO, me.

[Lightshade]

another thing, when I was taking a bath I think and I realize that all this crap that is happening could be my fault... I mean, if I would kept my mouth shut about my feelings on him, maybe he would not have kiss me that party and maybe my heart will be hurt by not tell him but not broken for being rejected.

what do you think?

thnxs, XOXO, me.

Well, I don't know. I can only compare.

I had a crush on a straight friend of me years ago, too. I told him. He was totally confused and shocked, but he said it's okay as long as I don't go too far and try to touch him or so.

He had no problems with me being gay, but he could be as drunk as hell, he would never ever kiss me. Hugs and a kiss on the cheek were the most sexual things I ever did with him... well.. if you exclude my fantasy....

That's why I'm confused with your problem. If he kissed you totally drunk, he may like you more than he wants to admit. And every straight gay would at least push you awayy if you press your lips on his


But maybe I'm just totally wrong. Don't want to raise expactations where are none maybe.... :frown:

And don't be too hard with yourself. mile: Talking about your feelings can't be that wrong. It's usual the best and truest thing to do... and makes you more brave than most of the people in the world, including me sometimes

[woodchip50]

has happened to me twice. dont think they will but maybe my stories may be of some use?

the first i am still not over. dont think i will be for a while. but this one is irrelevant as i dont think it is similar enough for you to draw help from.

second guy however was quite recent.
just a guy at work who is rather gay acting but straight. he greets me with hugs as he does everyone. he nicknames the women where we work with lets be frank quite gay related names. for instance one jenny is 'J-lo'.
and he is too pretty.

*longing sigh*

i dont know if i shall be over that crush for a while. its like a proper one. and it hurts when i see him. sense of longing.

but he has gone onto night shifts now.

and so i dont see him like ever anymore.
isolation from him means i can ignore my feelings but they are still there. heavy and saddening as ever. it seems like a good short term solution for now. but distancing wont change my feelings. i can just ignore them for now.
you probably want closeur. not to just repress them like i am.

(will point out there is nothing i can do about this. i am not out at work so not gonna tell him about said feelings and even if i did he switched to nightshifts because he prefers them and this is why i nolonger see him, isolation wasn't my doing.)

*quickly daydreams that maybe he went on night shifts to isolate himself from me as his crush makes it too hard to see me each day*
*pops delighful bubble...*