Posts: 2,137
Threads: 3
Joined: May 2014
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I'm a : Single Gay Man
Starsign: Aries
Mood: None
Then there's the chance he's bi...
I know you're just looking for closure with the father of your children. That's understandable. But I don't think you're going to get it this way. I think you have to live with just the facts you already have and count your blessings that you made the right decision not to be with him.
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When we care about someone, especially a partner, and it's over, we always want to believe that they just weren't such an asshole. Maybe they had some issues they just couldn't sort through? I'm being a hypocrite because I'm not at this stage, but what's done is done. You can search and never have your answer, but it's not going to change the end result, it won't change anything. The fact is, there were problems that irrespective of his sexuality got in the way.
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I responded to this earlier, but don't see the post. In fact, there are two I don't see. Anyway, I think your friend should check into books by Bill Eddy & there is a great site called datingasociopath online that has lots of helpful articles, etc. you are right in how to deal with them, be boring and they move on. Though it takes awhile. Our kids will be grown in two years, and hopefully, I can completely cut off contact then. I talk more to his wife because he doesn't speak to me unless he is up to something. I'm probably still too empathetic where his wife is concerned. She hasn't always been nice, but I wouldn't wish what he does on anyone. Thank you for your advice!
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[MENTION=23286]Confuzzled4[/MENTION] - True, there were many issues. Trust was gone due to all the lies. I never knew what was true anymore. Married 12 years, and I never even knew him. He changes depending on who he is with. It's like no one is really in there. I guess I keep trying to find what was true. Idk. As you said, is pointless. I just get hung up on it sometimes.
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ill check back tomorrow. I've written a few responses, but not many are showing up.
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Lesley, because you are new, you are moderated more heavily until you get 50 posts. Or so I have heard.
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I fucking hate gossipers...I am sorry if that is too up from or considered antagonistic, but I fucking hate people gossiping about others like this.
It is nobody's business what his sexuality might or might not be and it is disgusting that it is a topic of conversation.
If you are not happy in a marriage/relationship...get the fuck out of it, and have the decency to at least ask him the question rather than go behind his back with childish gossip.
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[MENTION=24118]deephiance[/MENTION] not sure what part of sociopath you aren't getting. He couldn't tell the truth if his life depended on it. Asking him anything directly is pointless. When he slept with me, he made it my business, and we have kids together...so still my business. You don't like gossip, move on.i haven't mentioned anyone's names, etc. You're ignoring the damage that's is done to other people affected by this. It isn't just about him.
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