How soon is too soon for oral sex?

[Doc]

So as some of you know I met a guy like 3 weeks ago and we have already had a date, and we are probably going to hang out this weekend. We go to school together on tuesdays and thursdays and we have been hanging out for a few hours after class on those days. On Valentines day we hung out for like 5 hours and he helped me do math.

He kissed me after our date and we kissed again today, but I was the one who started kissing him and I suck at kissing. I embarrassed myself with my lame kissing skills. I want to show him I like him alot, but do you think 3 weeks is too soon for oral sex? I was thinking about this weekend. Im hesitant to start having sexual relations too soon. Im afraid if we do that before getting to know each other then sex will be the only thing we have in common; so I been trying to do activities that a non-sexual so we can find things we like doing together besides sex. Like today after class we bought wranglers and cheap sunglasses. Im afraid that the time we spend together will just become a bunch of booty calls if we dont try to build a friendship first.

Anyway Im also suggesting oral, becuase I have only topped which makes me feel selfish, but I dont think I'd enjoy it the other way. With oral we both get to win and if I do it this weekend I would not ask him to reciprocate. I was thinking a blowjob would be a nice way of saying "I like spending time with you and I think you are alot of fun". Also how long can a relationship go without anal sex, if we were to just do oral, our hands and massaging for 6 months would that be normal, or would I seem like a prude?

[InbetweenDreams]

Well ask 10 people get 10 answers. Personally I don't think it is a problem. However, you should also tell him how you feel. Getting or giving a blow job can say a lot of other things that you don't want.

The key is communicate. The better you are at communicating and listening the less problems and misunderstandings....

As far as sex goes, man people are so uptight about it, including myself. I don't think fucking should be out of the question at 3 weeks if you both are comfortable with each other and discuss it. I don't think sex should be so casual like these tards on Grindr when they say they're horny after being asked how they're doing.

[Emiliano]

I don't think there's a set time limit on any of this stuff. I wouldn't worry so much about it. Obviously if he's super drunk you should let him be. But if you're both relatively sober, it's consensual, and you're both feeling it, you just let things happen organically. Also, are you trying to make a friend here or a boyfriend? If you are romantically / sexually into this guy, why not act on it? He will either be into it and want it to or he will tell you he's not ready / not interested. It seems like he's into you though, and it seems like you're already moving faster than you first thought you would...

If I were you, I'd just say it to him.

Be straight up like, hey I really like you, I'm glad we are getting to know eachother, we seem really compatible and we get along well. You're really attractive to me and I've been thinking about how much I want to....bla bla bla...

Or make some joke when he's drinking and be like, hey if you keep drinking at that rate you won't be able to get hard for me later.

Or when you kiss him next say something like, wow I'm really having to stop myself from going further with you. Unless you'd prefer I don't stop?

Clearly you and I are different, we live in a different sort of gay culture. But if I was talking to a guy and 6 months, 6 weeks, ...6 dates, lol, passed before anything sexual happened, I'd have done lost interest.

I can't tell you anything without knowing how this guy is though. That's why I say base what's appropriate off of the chemistry between you two, not some impersonal time line you'd find in an etiquette book for proper young ladies from the 1950s.

[Camfer]

I think you have to wait an hour after eating. Anything else is too soon.

[Doc]

Here is my reasoning, right before I met him I was thinking Im 28 years old and Im single, Im tired of being alone and many of my single friends are meeting girls and getting married. I have met guys before and had sex within hours but they were just one night stands. I might really have a chance with this one and I want to impress him. I don't want him thinking that I'm a whore, who gives it up to everyone.

[InbetweenDreams]

Here is my reasoning, right before I met him I was thinking Im 28 years old and Im single, Im tired of being alone and many of my single friends are meeting girls and getting married. I have met guys before and had sex within hours but they were just one night stands. I might really have a chance with this one and I want to impress him. I don't want him thinking that I'm a whore, who gives it up to everyone.

Same reason why I bought my crush xmas gifts last xmas. To impress him...to show I really like him...

My advice, be yourself...You don't have to give him a bj if you aren't comfortable with it. If he's kissing you now, I mean allow some time. Guys are weird, some are hot, some are cold. You might be able to go all out with him or not be able to touch his leg or cuddle....probably neither of those extremes.

What do you think he would do if you were try giving him a bj?

[deephiance]

I mean it is entirely up to you [MENTION=24108]Doc[/MENTION], if you feel comfortable then go for it.

Me? no. Giving someone a blow job doesn't show how loved they are.

ROMANCE - Make him dinner, hold his hand while watching TV, Falling asleep next to him and waking up the following morning with a smile.

Sex and money mean fuck all if you can make your actions speak louder than the words you utter.

[Darius]

I don't want him thinking that I'm a whore, who gives it up to everyone.

How could he think badly of you if he is the one you are having sex with?

[kindy64]

Good advice above. There is no timeline to all this. Be yourself. If it feels right in the moment, then go for it, hands, mouth, butt... it's not a matter of winning, it's about sexual satisfaction. I enjoy every aspect, truly versatile, and get satisfaction from both pleasing my partner, as much as getting pleasure from him. They are satisfying in different ways.

The first guy I felt a connection with, and dated, rather than just hooked up with, it was date 3 or 4 before we did anything, and I limited it to oral. We hung out the first time and played video games, got fro-yo another time, cooked him dinner the next couple of times.

This week has seen a few firsts for the my fiance and I. 20 months together and we are just starting to really explore our sexuality together. He's finally coping better with his 2 rapes, his abusive ex-boyfriends, and our relationship is more solid (because I'm learning to communicate better and being more assertive,) so he has been more open to me. I've been patient with him because of his background, my newness to gay sex, and the fact that I absolutely LOVE him.

As InbetweenDreams said above, it's about communication. Go on a date, tell him flat out how you feel about him, where you see your relationship now, and where you would like it to go. Include all your insecurities, and be honest about wanting sex, but not wanting the relationship to be just sex. You already have a friendship not based on sex, so you are already ahead of the game with a lot of couples.

[Doc]

How could he think badly of you if he is the one you are having sex with?

Thats a really good point.

What do you think he would do if you were try giving him a bj?

Enjoy it I guess, cum probably? I dont understand the question, Everybody likes blowjobs.

I guess I'll just tell him everything. I really want sex, I want it all and how I like it, I was just afraid if we started too early we'd fuck up everything. I'd also like to meet his family and I hope he wants me to. Tomorrow whatever happens Im still going to offer to give him a blowjob though NSA, he is nice and good looking and deserves one.

I tell you guys what happened, then I'll take a break from this forum. It seems like the more questions I ask, the more I have and I get so much anxiety. I worry too much.