I will never be happy?

[meridannight]

Thanks for your support. Thats exactly what i intended to say. And if i study again, my parent will not help me. And i do not know how i could pay for it. In Turkey, education is free actually. Also monthly expense is cheap because of the currency of ours.

I'm sorry you have to go through all that crap. I wish there was something I could do for you, but I live in another country.

All of this suffering gay men have to go through in less progressive countries, and even in the more progressive ones, is ultimately unnecessary. Because there is nothing wrong with a man loving another man and wanting to be with him. This primitive prejudice that still exists in parts of the world is so cruel and ultimately useless. I don't understand how people can't see their own humanity or if they really don't have it. I know it comes by nature for men to want to dominate other males, but inflicting murder and torture for something that, in the end, is a man's right to love, is unacceptable to me. I wish I could change that, and the people who don't understand; it's what disturbs me most about our life and people on this planet.

I think love between men is the most beautiful thing in the whole world. It's sublime. There is nothing to be ashamed about it and it shouldn't be something that one has to hide. I'm proud that I love other men, I wouldn't choose the other way even if I could.

I do wish things will get better for you. Maybe you should be thinking about moving some place else. If not right away, then in long-term perspective.

[RomanticMan]

Oh, I didn't know that. So, what are you planning to do after you graduate? You said you might move to Instanbul...if I may ask, what will you do there?

I dont know. İstanbul is more progressive than other places in Turkey. So, maybe I could be a bit free there.

[RomanticMan]

I'm sorry you have to go through all that crap. I wish there was something I could do for you, but I live in another country.

All of this suffering gay men have to go through in less progressive countries, and even in the more progressive ones, is ultimately unnecessary. Because there is nothing wrong with a man loving another man and wanting to be with him. This primitive prejudice that still exists in parts of the world is so cruel and ultimately useless. I don't understand how people can't see their own humanity or if they really don't have it. I know it comes by nature for men to want to dominate other males, but inflicting murder and torture for something that, in the end, is a man's right to love, is unacceptable to me. I wish I could change that, and the people who don't understand; it's what disturbs me most about our life and people on this planet.

I think love between men is the most beautiful thing in the whole world. It's sublime. There is nothing to be ashamed about it and it shouldn't be something that one has to hide. I'm proud that I love other men, I wouldn't choose the other way even if I could.

I do wish things will get better for you. Maybe you should be thinking about moving some place else. If not right away, then in long-term perspective.

Thanks, but nothing to do about it. I think so. Of course, there is nothing 2 men loving each other. I mean, there is nothing 2 people loving each other. Also, here many gay people make a heterosexual marriage because of cultural pressure. I'm not gonna do that. I think civilization goes back and forth. There are some times homosexuals were free in ancient times.

I actually do not believe in dominating and wouldnt let anyone to dominate me. I wouldnt (probably) dominate my lover.
I'm not ashamed, either. and neither should anybody. I think of moving to another country but that's not very probable, though. Still, I have little hope inside me.

[kindy64]

You are 24, with your whole life ahead of you. Declaring things are impossible, says to me you don't believe you have any agency over your life.

In social science, agency is the capacity of individuals to act independently and to make their own free choices. By contrast, structure is those factors of influence (such as social class, religion, gender, ethnicity, ability, customs, etc.) that determine or limit an agent and his or her decisions.

Can you not make your plan to graduate, find a different country to move to (one that is more gay friendly,) and then go about finding the relationship that you want?

Sure, it won't be easy to do that, but living in a repressive society won't be easy either... So, you need to decide what is the best path for your future, rather than giving in to defeatism.

I've always said "a defeatist attitude will only leave you defeated."

1 - Be realistic about your expectations. Even here in the United States there aren't a lot of 24 year old gay guys who've met their soul mates and are settled into a long term relationship.
2 - Make plans to move. Actually figure out what career you can have that will allow you the freedom to move someplace more progressive. Figure out where you would prefer to live, and work towards that.
3 - In the meantime, enjoy life as much as possible. Stop worrying about what you can't have, and start enjoying what you do have, or can have.

[RomanticMan]

You are 24, with your whole life ahead of you. Declaring things are impossible, says to me you don't believe you have any agency over your life.
Can you not make your plan to graduate, find a different country to move to (one that is more gay friendly,) and then go about finding the relationship that you want?
Sure, it won't be easy to do that, but living in a repressive society won't be easy either... So, you need to decide what is the best path for your future, rather than giving in to defeatism.
I've always said "a defeatist attitude will only leave you defeated."
1 - Be realistic about your expectations. Even here in the United States there aren't a lot of 24 year old gay guys who've met their soul mates and are settled into a long term relationship.
2 - Make plans to move. Actually figure out what career you can have that will allow you the freedom to move someplace more progressive. Figure out where you would prefer to live, and work towards that.
3 - In the meantime, enjoy life as much as possible. Stop worrying about what you can't have, and start enjoying what you do have, or can have.

I think moving is impossible. My job is an appreciated job in Turkey, while it's not a big deal for other countries and I have some disadvantages about my job in other countries. I've searched all my ways out of the country, everything!
and when it comes to enjoy, it totally depends. I regret that I havent had any experience about emotional or sexual things. And I still do not have courage to sleep with a guy whom I barely know or dont know at all. it wouldnt even be comfortable for me. I try to enjoy other things of course. but I just feel tired of escaping the realiting and assuring myself all will be ok. and I tried to be cool with this but it clearly doesnt work

[kindy64]

Just curious what career are you looking at?