Hi all, I need to say things i cannot say in real life

[sam]

hi all .. i joined this forum like 2 years ago, i didn't enter it since like august last year .. so many things are happened since.
i want summarize the whole story in a short version and i need your opinion.
i have a best friend for like 10 years now we've known each other , at the first year there was nothing gay about us .. but from the second year we started to kiss and eventually slept together and had sex.
we stayed like this until he went to live in the US, and im still in my middle eastern country.
when he traveled i was in complete shock and i think he was too.
so we were talking every single day and we were counting the days to the date he'll come back and we could see each other again .. like literally counting.
we stayed like this for a year and a half, i was having trouble in my school and i was hating my life in my country so i decided to go to the US. it's not easy as it sound .. my parents and my family are totally against it. so i had to do something big if i wanted it to happen. so i got a visa and sold my car without anyone knowing. then i told everybody about the whole thing but of course not about any gayness because i'd be dead as simple as that.
so my excuse was i want to go to him visit and see colleges there to study , after i went through hell with my family i managed to convince them. and i've in in the US for 2 weeks now .
thats not the problem thats a happy story, the problem is me and my "friend" are fighting like everyday and i dont know why! ,, after all i've did .. for this?!
im sorry for this long story >> No one in the world knows about my kind of relationship with my "friend"

[InbetweenDreams]

Fighting, what over? [MENTION=23137]sam[/MENTION] What sort of relationship/friendship have you kept with this guy? One thing for sure is that people are very different in person, especially more so given that he's moved to the US and everything else I'm sure that's not in your post.

At any rate, while the US isn't exactly picture perfect but I do think you're more than likely to find happiness without fear of punishment or death. So even if you and your friend don't work out there's other things you can do. Feel free to tell us more if you like.

[LJay]

How did you get around the Trump travel ban?

How long has your friend been here? Is it not possible that you are interrupting a new life he has begun here?

In any event, you both need to sit down and clear the matter up now.

[sam]

ok thanks for replying, i posted a thread like a year ago or so about my relationship with him but ill tell you now its ok.
i've know this guy since i was 13 , now im 21 so for 8 years, he was in the same school with me and in the same school bus and in the same neighborhood, i started talking to him like any friend i newly know.
but the turning point was that after a year after i knew him i went to visit my family in another city, our relationship wasn't strong at that moment but we were chating on the MSN messenger at the time .. and he told me that he was so sad that i left for the summer and he actually cried about it ,i was shocked that he responded that way about me leaving so i gave him extra attention and we began to talk a lot like when we sleep we talk when we wake up at every time we speak on the MSN or phone calls, when i came back to my city i saw him he was at my place in my room and we were like talking and playing and stuff, and we just kissed each other .. and i sill remember it because it was like the best moment ever i still do love him very much, we started kissing when we have the chance and things escalated and we step after step we started to sleep together and waiting for a chance of an empty house so we could do it. we used to tell each other i love u and stuff but things changed a little when we grew up, i think he started realizing that what we are doing is condemned from our culture and environment so he was a bit scared .. im telling you this because the person who knows him the most .. and i had my problems about this that he's beginning to change his way so i confronted him and told him i love you for real, like real love and he told me he loves me too the same way i do .. but his behavior is not showing it clearly.... we argued a lot , i think its a normal thing to argue but a sure thing is we love each other for real, so the turning point was when he had to leave to the US to go study there and he's a US citizen its a better place for him .. i took it hard, very hard it was the most thing i cried about in my life the moment i let him go at the airport was the most difficult moment ever, i thought i can adapt without him and he told me that we will still talk everyday and we wont ever forget what we had here ,, and it was true we talked everyday for a year and a half .. everyday hours between us, eventually it affected me like hell and i just couldnt live there without him so i did what i did to get to him and i did but now that we actually live together, i dont know i think he's trying to escape from our relationship at the same time he still loves me so its creating problems , if u have any specific question ill gladly answer , and my country isn't included in the travel ban

[TwisttheLeaf]

I have the same question as [MENTION=23180]InbetweenDreams[/MENTION] did. What are you fighting over?

Other question, had you discussed coming to him before the decision reached the "point of no return"?

[seeking]

Hi there,

Thanks for letting us know the background.

However, what most important is that what are you fighting for right now and how does he behave? (any examples?)
without these it's hard to know what is actually happening.

A side note, it would be great if you can write in paragraph. It's easier to read

[sam]

We were fighting about the most selly things , but we're okay we always argue and end up like nothing happend.
Infact we are having the best time now and we want to get married , does anyone know how get this done here in Chicago

[IanSaysHi]

We were fighting about the most selly things , but we're okay we always argue and end up like nothing happend.
Infact we are having the best time now and we want to get married , does anyone know how get this done here in Chicago

WOAH.

Only one week ago you needed advice because of the arguing and now it's all great and wonderful and you're going to get married?? You say

Infact we are having the best time now

...but you've been having the best time now FOR A WEEK.
I'm happy you've resolved things but maybe give it a bit longer before jumping into marriage - marriage isn't some kind of magic glue that fixes everything or shows that everything is okay now. I know you've been with this guy a long time but it just seems a bit soon to jump from the original post in this thread above, to getting hitched.

Maybe just give it a little longer to let the dust settle?

[Zen]

WOAH.

Only one week ago you needed advice because of the arguing and now it's all great and wonderful and you're going to get married?? You say

...but you've been having the best time now FOR A WEEK.
I'm happy you've resolved things but maybe give it a bit longer before jumping into marriage - marriage isn't some kind of magic glue that fixes everything or shows that everything is okay now. I know you've been with this guy a long time but it just seems a bit soon to jump from the original post in this thread above, to getting hitched.

Maybe just give it a little longer to let the dust settle?

True Ian, marriage doesn't always resolve problems, a very romantic gesture though!

[deephiance]

Sometimes people need to make their own mistakes, even though the rest of us can see the train wreck coming, sometimes the best solution is to let it happen