04-02-2017, 02:17 PM
I’ve no one else to share this with so I’d like to tell you guys about a nice thing that happened to me this weekend. Yesterday I went to Moscow. I was kind of nervous, as I was alone in a big city that I don’t know well but I managed to do everything I had to do. I knew that in Moscow gay people have their own taxi service and since I had to take a taxi anyway because I needed to get back to the train station, I called them.
When the car appeared, my first thought was – what did I get myself into – because the driver was a very young guy, about my age probably. Praying that he knows how to drive, I got in the car and told him where I wanted to go. We started driving and after a while I noticed that he’s looking at me all the time. It made me feel uneasy, first, because I had never taken a taxi alone, so being in the same car alone with someone I didn’t know was already intimidating for me in the first place and second, because it looked like he wasn’t paying attention to what he was doing. So I told him to focus on the road before he kills us.
He laughed and said „ don’t worry, it’s just that you have pretty eyelashesâ€Â. No guy had ever complimented me before, so I was thinking like – pretty eyelashes, what kind of compliment is that? I started to think that that guy was some kind of a creep, while he was probably just trying to start a conversation, so I just looked out of the window and he then asked me if I’m gay. First I wasn’t sure whether to tell him or not, because it’s supposed to be a gay friendly taxi, a safe way for LGBT people to get around in Moscow but then again – he was a stranger and I’m very cautious from everything I’ve experienced in St Petersburg but I took a risk and I said that I was. That was the first time I’ve ever told another person I’m gay. It felt relieving, really.
He told me he’s gay too, we began to talk more, he told me about gay community in Moscow. There are a few activists but actually the situation is not much better than in Petersburg, you can live in the closet only and if you don’t, you’ll face the consequences.
But the ride was very nice, he told me about the things he has experienced as a driver, he made me laugh. Actually I don’t remember when was the last time I laughed as truly as I did while talking to this guy and it’s been a long time since I felt this good while talking to another person. It was the first time I talked to another gay person in real life and it felt so great to be able to be me and not lie and not hide anything because I’ve met someone who’s just like me. When you’re always afraid that someone might find out something about you then meeting a person together with whom you don’t have to be afraid, is something truly valuable.
When we arrived to the train station and I had to get out, he only took half price from me for the ride and gave me a card with the company’s name and his number so that if I’m ever in Moscow again and need a taxi, I can call him directly.
When I came home, I was in a very good mood, unfortunately my father misinterpreted it like " I bet he has met some cute girl" (as if you can't have a good mood without meeting girls) and also I've to hide that card somewhere because it has the words "gay taxi" on it, so if someone found it, that'd be pretty hard to explain why I have it.
I don't know if I'll ever meet him again, since I normally never go to Moscow, I've nothing to do there, this time it was an exception when I had to go. But anyway it felt really good to just talk to another gay man and tell everything I've been keeping inside.
When the car appeared, my first thought was – what did I get myself into – because the driver was a very young guy, about my age probably. Praying that he knows how to drive, I got in the car and told him where I wanted to go. We started driving and after a while I noticed that he’s looking at me all the time. It made me feel uneasy, first, because I had never taken a taxi alone, so being in the same car alone with someone I didn’t know was already intimidating for me in the first place and second, because it looked like he wasn’t paying attention to what he was doing. So I told him to focus on the road before he kills us.
He laughed and said „ don’t worry, it’s just that you have pretty eyelashesâ€Â. No guy had ever complimented me before, so I was thinking like – pretty eyelashes, what kind of compliment is that? I started to think that that guy was some kind of a creep, while he was probably just trying to start a conversation, so I just looked out of the window and he then asked me if I’m gay. First I wasn’t sure whether to tell him or not, because it’s supposed to be a gay friendly taxi, a safe way for LGBT people to get around in Moscow but then again – he was a stranger and I’m very cautious from everything I’ve experienced in St Petersburg but I took a risk and I said that I was. That was the first time I’ve ever told another person I’m gay. It felt relieving, really.
He told me he’s gay too, we began to talk more, he told me about gay community in Moscow. There are a few activists but actually the situation is not much better than in Petersburg, you can live in the closet only and if you don’t, you’ll face the consequences.
But the ride was very nice, he told me about the things he has experienced as a driver, he made me laugh. Actually I don’t remember when was the last time I laughed as truly as I did while talking to this guy and it’s been a long time since I felt this good while talking to another person. It was the first time I talked to another gay person in real life and it felt so great to be able to be me and not lie and not hide anything because I’ve met someone who’s just like me. When you’re always afraid that someone might find out something about you then meeting a person together with whom you don’t have to be afraid, is something truly valuable.
When we arrived to the train station and I had to get out, he only took half price from me for the ride and gave me a card with the company’s name and his number so that if I’m ever in Moscow again and need a taxi, I can call him directly.
When I came home, I was in a very good mood, unfortunately my father misinterpreted it like " I bet he has met some cute girl" (as if you can't have a good mood without meeting girls) and also I've to hide that card somewhere because it has the words "gay taxi" on it, so if someone found it, that'd be pretty hard to explain why I have it.
I don't know if I'll ever meet him again, since I normally never go to Moscow, I've nothing to do there, this time it was an exception when I had to go. But anyway it felt really good to just talk to another gay man and tell everything I've been keeping inside.