Asking Him Out

[Double007]

Hello Everyone,
I haven't posted anything in awhile. It's good to be back on here!

It's been quite the journey the last 5 years for me, basically learning to love my self, becoming more confident and definitely become more social. I have to honestly say that I am so proud of myself the past year and a half.

It's now come to the point that I'm really getting tired of missing out on life because of fear or negative thoughts. With this in mind, I've recently become very very interested in dating (maybe even hooking up) and meeting guys. Actually, I've been for a long time but I've found every excuse not to pursue it mainly do to thoughts and self-esteem. I have a few apps downloaded on my phone and have matched with guys and talked with some but it hasn't amounted to anything major.

There's a guy that works at a coffee shop in the mall that I visit and I am interested. He is gay, I can tell, but he also has a profile on Grindr (yes, I know not the best dating avenue). Anyway I've recently visited the coffee shop and we both spent a little time glancing at each other the few times I was there. Yesterday while shopping, I saw he was there at the register. I mustered up the courage to go buy something from him and strike up a simple conversation. We talked and engaged in some bantour for about thirty seconds to a minute and then I left. It felt pretty good. I am very attracted to him and I'm open to date or hang out. Hooking up is not my preference at this time but I wouldn't mind getting physical with him.

So, does anyone have any advice on the best way to ask him out while he's at work? I could just as well send him a message on Grindr but I'm not sure I like the idea. I kind of want to do it in person because I want to lean more toward dating, but I'm not sure how to do it without getting him in trouble or putting him in a weird situation.

Any advice and encouragement would be so appreciated

[deephiance]

send him a message on grindr...it isn't 100% a 'hook-up' app, and there is no reason why it can't be used as an ice-breaker.

Just do it.

[Double007]

Thanks, I was thinking people would point me into the face to face direction. This is a different perspective that could actually eliminate an awkward situation if he was at work.

[princealbertofb]

[MENTION=16979]Double007[/MENTION], do you know if this man is in a relationship or not? The fact that he's on Grindr does not mean that he isn't, so I think next time you go and purchase something I think you'll have to try and find out by making a remark about his 'partner' or your non existent partner to see if he is available. You could, of course, tell him that you've recognised him from Grindr, but that could be a bit awkward. At work would not be the best place to discuss all this. Or you could also send him a Grindr message saying that you'll come by to purchase something and that you'd like to talk when he's off work if that suits him. Don't take it personally if he turns you down, ok? As long as you don't swoon all over him and make the situation difficult for him, there's no reason why you shouldn't continue to be a patron at this coffee shop. Like all things, sometimes time plays in our favour, and it may take a few more visits to the coffee shop before he gets the hint. For the moment, you're just another random customer, probably.

[meridannight]

Just ask him if he'd like to have some drinks or dinner with you after work one day. It's not gonna be that awkward. Don't do it through some online means, this is something that should be done in person.

[Double007]

His Grindr says he's single, so I'll go with that. Thank you so much for the thoughts, I definitely wouldn't mind talking to him in person each time I go for the next few visits. Yes, there is a chance I could be turned down. I'll assume the best and deal with other things later lol

[InbetweenDreams]

Hello Everyone,
I haven't posted anything in awhile. It's good to be back on here!

It's been quite the journey the last 5 years for me, basically learning to love my self, becoming more confident and definitely become more social. I have to honestly say that I am so proud of myself the past year and a half.

It's now come to the point that I'm really getting tired of missing out on life because of fear or negative thoughts. With this in mind, I've recently become very very interested in dating (maybe even hooking up) and meeting guys. Actually, I've been for a long time but I've found every excuse not to pursue it mainly do to thoughts and self-esteem. I have a few apps downloaded on my phone and have matched with guys and talked with some but it hasn't amounted to anything major.

There's a guy that works at a coffee shop in the mall that I visit and I am interested. He is gay, I can tell, but he also has a profile on Grindr (yes, I know not the best dating avenue). Anyway I've recently visited the coffee shop and we both spent a little time glancing at each other the few times I was there. Yesterday while shopping, I saw he was there at the register. I mustered up the courage to go buy something from him and strike up a simple conversation. We talked and engaged in some bantour for about thirty seconds to a minute and then I left. It felt pretty good. I am very attracted to him and I'm open to date or hang out. Hooking up is not my preference at this time but I wouldn't mind getting physical with him.

So, does anyone have any advice on the best way to ask him out while he's at work? I could just as well send him a message on Grindr but I'm not sure I like the idea. I kind of want to do it in person because I want to lean more toward dating, but I'm not sure how to do it without getting him in trouble or putting him in a weird situation.

Any advice and encouragement would be so appreciated

Oh talk to him in person, fuck Grindr

Anyway, perhaps you should ask him if he'd like a cup of coffee... I'm kidding


side note we have been becoming quite the coffee snobs at work



Anyway, just ask if he wants to go grab something to eat after work...just something small and casual, he might have shit to do after work... I mean in my case I usually don't have anything to do but just want to go home and let off some steam and so on. everyone is different, but you two are talking, so hey you're already have an Ace in the hand so go for nothing wrong to ask him on a something of a date, movie, drinks, food...talk to him more if you aren't quite sure just my two cents and I have drank a bottle of wine so who knows what kind of advice I am giving, or even if my grammer is worth a fuck.

[TigerLover]

Establish a rapport. Next time you go ask him how his day is, how busy he is. Simple friendly stuff like that.

He's more likely to say yes to a date if you establish a platonic connection before you establish the sexual one.

But it would be better to ask him out on Grindr. Hitting on people in their place of work is a really bad idea. His boss might be there or he might not be out to his co-workers yet. Hell the professional thing to do is say no even if you are interested.

[Cheet0V90]

Maybe shoot him a message on Grindr, say you saw him in the coffee shop and wanted to say hi, but you figured that while he is at work was a bad idea? See where things go then?