What's the point?

[Anonymous]

hopefully the right guy will come along soon. I don't like how I am feeling right now.

[Confuzzled4]

Many of us have gotten to the point of being suicidal, I am included. We're simple beings, there are many basic things we'll never know or understand, we just do the best we can to find meaning, purpose, love, etc. Depression can be managed, just in the moment time slows down a lot. One week feels like a year when you get to that point. It's cliche, but you need to work on yourself first before you can get out there, in terms of friends, employment , and a relationship. Doing things that you enjoy is a tremendous help. My only advice is if you want to hurt yourself, or have any thoughts of suicide, please see someone. These are red flags that shouldn't be ignored because your recovery will take longer. For me, my recovery required medication, hospitalization, group therapy, and individual therapy which I still go to. It is a long process, but the fact that you want help is excellent. It takes a strong person to ask for help because they first need to admit it and then put their pride aside. Keep fighting! You have people who are interested and care that you continue to find your life.

[InbetweenDreams]

hopefully the right guy will come along soon. I don't like how I am feeling right now.

The right guy will come along sooner or later. Reading your other posts my advice would be not to seek a relationship at all, just seek friends.

Becoming more social for me has been a huge thing for me in the past...decade really. I, like you, never really mingled much with other kinds in school and for the most part I was pretty much anti-social. Really, it hasn't been all that long since I have more or less come out of my shell and have become more social in general. Doesn't mean that meeting people is easier or that I am "social butterfly" but the older I get and the more times I have been through the experience I have got a little better at dealing with things and breaking the ice. All that aside, I'm still bit of an odd duckling I guess.

Hobbies, try something you haven't done before. Not saying go all crazy and do skydiving necessarily but new experiences if you ask me is a huge part of life. Yeah, some of us, you for instance, really want to share those experiences but what I think you really need more than Mr. Right are just some people to hang with and do new things. New hobbies often lead to a new circle of friends. Plus, if you already like to write, new experiences will give you a lot more to write about and if you're a creative writer, or say someone who writes fiction, novels or whatever, it would be my speculation that you would be able to take your imagination to new levels. Kind of hard to write a book about skydiving without having done it yourself, I mean you can imagine it but it would be my assumption it would be harder to capture essence of it and translating that to your writing. Another example, is say driving at 120 MPH is hard to imagine if you've never driven higher than 60 MPH but you know it is twice as fast but capturing the essence and all the little details are harder grasp. Anyway, take all that with a grain of salt, just my thoughts on that.

Not to go on a rant but since I started flying drones I have taken an interest in aviation in general, looking at things like paragliding and paramotors and even the ultra lights which don't require you to have a pilot's license but likewise you probably should know how to fly at any rate and be aware of the FAA part 107 rules for ultralights. Anyway, not saying I'm going to get into it since it is an expensive hobby and have to be trained and most of all I have thing about heights and I have no idea how I would adapt and throwing $1,500+ for training I might end up not really needing because I freak out trying to do it all not something I really would want to do either but there's a good chance that I did I would likely meet other people who are also into the same thing and the more people you know and are friends with the more likely you will be to meet someone special.

Hobbies can be hard to just jump into and I have many different hobbies and then I find the next thing I want to get into and yeah it gets expensive sometimes too. Just has to be something you research and either know you will like or likely will like. I made the mistake last year thinking I would do bicycle touring and bought a lot of stuff that would be needed to do so...that led to backpacking and then in the end never really used that stuff and it is likely that I will not be doing any bicycle touring...It sounds like a nice way to explore because you do get to notice a lot of things you wouldn't normally see but it does require a lot of endurance to ride a bike everyday and for extended periods of time and there's an ever increasing risk that you might get hit by a car and people do. Watched a couple documentaries on touring and several people in the documentary either got killed along the way or had to quit for medical reasons (one lady was killed by a hit and run and the other was an older guy who started having heart problems). Then the backpacking, well turns out I'm the only one crazy enough to want to hike 30 mile trail going up and down the mountains and do everything all "hard core" and not having much experience in doing it.

At any rate keeping busy with something does help and trying new things is a good way to lead yourself to meeting people you otherwise might never meet.

[LJay]

Some very good advice in the posts above. I hope you are finding ides to help.

Just to pass on something that I learned from my Mom: When you are down, do something for someone else. You'll be surprised at how much it helps to say someting pleasant to a person at the bus stop or help someone get their groceries into the car or even take the time to be a little extra nice to a fast food worker. Little stuff, but you will feel better for it and so will those around you.

Good luck and don't forget that there are listening ears here.

[seeking]

What kind of books do you really, or what's the last book you read that you find interesting?

Do you write novels / stories ? I used to do that a lot when I was in highschool. Sadly I don't have much time and energy for that after college.

[Alvin]

Your question is indeed a very good one. I had the same concern years ago-- what's the point of life?

I couldn't find a convincing answer till I read a book, in which it said that language itself could be quite deceiving. We may simply say "I have a hat." But what about "I have a pain." or "It has a point." This grammatical similarity might mislead us into thinking that "pain" or "point" in general are things we have in the same way that we have hats. (A view from Wittgenstein)

We tend to assume that where there is a problem there must be a solution, just as we tend rather oddly to imagine things that are in fragments should always be put back together again. But there are plenty of problems to which we will probably never discover solutions, along with questions which will go eternally unanswered. Maybe not knowing the point of life is part of the point of life, just like two guys waiting for Godot, which indeed never shows up (at least in his/her/its physical form) at the very end of the play.

I draw a conclusion from this book that some things (not everything of course) in life are very uncertain, and that's what calms me. I choose to live with the uncertainty and the risk that I might be broken-hearted (and indeed I have been there. We all have, haven't we?). Just take your broken heart, and make it into art.

Read a poem or a novel, or start writing something and share with us if you will.