It's About Time I Went On Another Rant

[marshlander]

... Now I'm working on being active at least once a day for 45 minutes.  If I can, I work a second session of activity in.  I've started doing this since isolation started on March 12, and I've lost between 15 - 20 pounds so far.

Can you hear me cheering?

[CellarDweller]

Can you hear me cheering?

Thank you!

Truth be told, I'm very angry at myself. I was obese, and lost a ton of weight, and got to near my goal of 200 pounds. Then I just stopped and let myself go, and all the weight came back.

Now I'm trying again and hoping I can get back down, and this time modify my behaviors to make it stick.

[matty7]

one positive thing to come out of isolation is the use of all these apps and social media plus tv to show us how to keep fit/loose weight/stay healthy - some amazing groups popping up where you can join in streaming fitness stuff , even my mum is now on YouTube doing fitness zumba for older people

if you do 45 mins everyday for a week then think about putting a rest day in there - your body will probably need it

[InbetweenDreams]

I had been going out for a run or walk all the way until around the new year. I was starting to go back right before the pandemic broke out in the US. About the time NC started the stay at home order I was about to start taking the bike out. Then they gated up the dam where now you have to walk around now...not really bike friendly. My idea was to take the bike out there a few times before I start riding on the road...I would just feel better that way. Anyway, I have been walking most days for the last several weeks and now that I know this trail is open I'm probably going to do that. I did about 2.5 miles, mind you its about 800 ft elevation gain in 1 mile with switchbacks and such. It's not the best maintained trail and I saw no one...which is normal. I've only seen someone on that trail once...maybe twice. Anyway, it's a better workout than walking by far. Weather is perfect for it, could have been 50 and I would have been happy.

Anyway, I prefer the outdoors regardless of what it is. I did have a treadmill which broke, had several issues and losing the safety key pretty much did it in.

My problem is food. If I were to give up coke and just crap food. I'd probably lose 20 lbs in a month. Problem is, I don't really want to right now. Sure' I've done it before, somewhere between here and doing it is the problem. I'm usually pretty good at sticking to things for a while. Bottom line is we're human. I hate the wild expectations that I should be doing things to please someone else. If I do anything, it is going to be because I want to.

[Bhp91126]

@InbetweenDreams don’t beat yourself up over not feeling up to dieting right now. We’re in a very stressful situation because of that damned virus and self care is encouraged. Good days and bad days will happen.

[CellarDweller]

Problem is, I don't really want to right now. Sure' I've done it before, somewhere between here and doing it is the problem. I'm usually pretty good at sticking to things for a while. Bottom line is we're human. I hate the wild expectations that I should be doing things to please someone else. If I do anything, it is going to be because I want to.

You are correct on both points. If you force yourself to do something you don't want to, it won't stick. You also can't exercise to please someone else.

When the time is right, you'll be able to focus on it and move forward with it.

[eastofeden]

I just read this and i swore I would stick to the job in front of me in my shop (it is huge and horrendous - long story) but I can't let this go and not comment.

First off - congratulations on your honesty and bravery - this is a wonderful gift to have to so put that in your PLUS column. If I could gave you a hug I would but this is the internet so


Now on to the spending and the weight issue. You are avoiding feeling something and what you can do is figure out what it is - not as easy as it sounds but very doable.  I have been in recovery since my 20s and I always will be even though I have had no alcohol or drugs for over 30 years now so I recognize this because basically it is the dynamic for all addictions - and spending is an addiction. Most people are aware of the addictions that get all the attention like alcohol - drugs - gambling - sex but spending and overeating are also on the spectrum with alot of the same dynamics. It mostly boils down to avoiding feeling something and facing whatever demons you have and we all have them. 

Maybe read a bit about one or the other and see if you find anything you can relate to and start there. Sometimes realizing that alot of other people have the same issues and there is no shame at all in seeking help you can begin a new chapter. 

https://www.psychguides.com/behavioral-d...addiction/

One more time on the honesty - it is very important to have this in order to succeed and you already have a great head start. Alot of people can't even get there for years, if ever.

[InbetweenDreams]

@eastofeden Yeah being honest is tricky. I say that because you can find yourself making excuses, not necessarily blaming people but things...

Buying stuff is exciting, I'm getting what I want right? What's more enjoyable though? Clicking checkout or getting the stuff I want? It's a weird psychology to it.

The over eating, not sure. I think it is a combonation of things. I don't overeat because I want to but I think it has a lot to do with me eating fast. I'm always done before anyone else...

I can tell you my honesty has got me in trouble, but then again so has lying lol so...

[InbetweenDreams]

I guess as an addendum to my OP. Perhaps I take things to heart, too personal and perhaps I shouldn't? When it comes to dating, even right now, I feel like I'm one of those "gross" guys, you know what I mean? I don't feel as if I'm really all that attractive. Now with this pandemic weight, I pretty much don't bother with hitting guys up on dating apps...although I did message one back but ha, we'll see how that goes. I did put a profile picture up of me before all the holidays and before the pandemic. I was doing alright weight-wise, still had a ways to go but it is crazy how quick it can all come back. So I do feel like I am ultimately losing the battle with weight and perhaps I should just face it, I'm never going to be "skinny"

You'd be surprised how often my weight has been an issue with guys. I've had random guys just message me on Grindr (I know, I know) just to say mean things. One guy in particular said something along the lines that he knew I edited my picture and that I'm just fat...and I didn't edit any of my pictures and it is almost as if he was put up to saying that to me. It turned out that this guy was one of my so-called "friends" boyfriend. I've had a few others. Yes, I ignored them, blocked them...whatever and I know I shouldn't let that stuff bothers me and it for the most part it doesn't. I just can't erase the memory. I was also really head over heels for someone who made a remark about my weight...while that might have been the motivation to get started losing weight it wasn't for the right reason.

So yes, we can establish that I'm self-conscious about my weight and yet I don't enough. I've been trying to go on daily walks which are almost 4 miles. I really need to get back to jogging but I can tell you the heavier you are the harder it is on everything, your back, your joints, knees....When I was 26 I don't think I ever got any sort of injury, but now, shin splints and my knees are kindly letting my know that you're in your 30's and you're not getting away with it this time pal.

To make matters worse concerning my self-consciousness about my body. I have some sort of body acne. You know, most people get that on their face... Well I get it everywhere else but where it normally would appear. It leaves scars and I suppose the marks are there for months...I just look gross and I hate it. Who the fuck is going to think oh gee that guy is sexy?

Yes, yes, I could go see a dermatologist...and I suppose I should if I want that to hopefully go away. I have found things that help...I don't know if it is our well water, the soaps and washes I'm using or if I have some sort of underlying cause or if I'm just unlucky. Unfortunately, things like that I just have to deal with and forego for now. I'm trying to get back on my feet after this bankruptcy so a lot of things I would like to deal with...whether it is dental, skin and other medical concerns have to be put on hold despite having "good" insurance.

That brings me to the another thing. I have had this bizarre GI issue for about 3 years now. I suspect it is diet related. I just don't know what exactly is causing it. My diet having been all over the place, the only thing I can say is that it would seem that when I was doing keto things actually got better, but that might also be because I was exercising a lot more. I find that exercising helps to an extent. So here's what happens... I get these bouts where I get a weird bloated feeling, sometimes a little pain up in the upper left corner just up in my rib cage. Almost always happens around the same time of day....often feels like trapped gas and sometimes it is. When it first started in 2017 it was more down in my lower left and the doctor at the time thought I had diverticulitis...which would be odd for someone who's 30 to have that and I should have had a fever and some sort of immune response because that is an infection. I also get dizzy and experience vertigo and just feel overall bad when I'm having one of these episodes and sometimes they're not all that bad. Sometimes they are, sometimes they last a few hours sometimes not very long. The only thing that seems to be a constant is the time of day. Right now, my "new" doctor seems to think I have what is called a redundant colon and has suggested I get a CT scan. I would do that but again, I really need to save up money, not open up a can of worms with this. Unless it gets worse, or something changes, I don't want to go down that road. I do think the doctor is on to something as it is the only thing that matches up, I probably have IBS...correction, I do have IBS lol

All I can say is someone is really going to have to look past all my flaws and shortcomings to love me...and I don't know why anyone would.

[eastofeden]

[quote='InbetweenDreams' pid='701575' dateline='1590065236']


That brings me to the another thing. I have had this bizarre GI issue for about 3 years now. I suspect it is diet related. I just don't know what exactly is causing it. My diet having been all over the place, the only thing I can say is that it would seem that when I was doing keto things actually got better, but that might also be because I was exercising a lot more. I find that exercising helps to an extent. So here's what happens... I get these bouts where I get a weird bloated feeling, sometimes a little pain up in the upper left corner just up in my rib cage. Almost always happens around the same time of day....often feels like trapped gas and sometimes it is. When it first started in 2017 it was more down in my lower left and the doctor at the time thought I had diverticulitis...which would be odd for someone who's 30 to have that and I should have had a fever and some sort of immune response because that is an infection. I also get dizzy and experience vertigo and just feel overall bad when I'm having one of these episodes and sometimes they're not all that bad. Sometimes they are, sometimes they last a few hours sometimes not very long. The only thing that seems to be a constant is the time of day. Right now, my "new" doctor seems to think I have what is called a redundant colon and has suggested I get a CT scan. I would do that but again, I really need to save up money, not open up a can of worms with this. Unless it gets worse, or something changes, I don't want to go down that road. I do think the doctor is on to something as it is the only thing that matches up, I probably have IBS...correction, I do have IBS lol



[/quote]

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[quote='eastofeden' pid='701701' dateline='1590130594']
[quote='InbetweenDreams' pid='701575' dateline='1590065236']


That brings me to the another thing. I have had this bizarre GI issue for about 3 years now. I suspect it is diet related. I just don't know what exactly is causing it. My diet having been all over the place, the only thing I can say is that it would seem that when I was doing keto things actually got better, but that might also be because I was exercising a lot more. I find that exercising helps to an extent. So here's what happens... I get these bouts where I get a weird bloated feeling, sometimes a little pain up in the upper left corner just up in my rib cage. Almost always happens around the same time of day....often feels like trapped gas and sometimes it is. When it first started in 2017 it was more down in my lower left and the doctor at the time thought I had diverticulitis...which would be odd for someone who's 30 to have that and I should have had a fever and some sort of immune response because that is an infection. I also get dizzy and experience vertigo and just feel overall bad when I'm having one of these episodes and sometimes they're not all that bad. Sometimes they are, sometimes they last a few hours sometimes not very long. The only thing that seems to be a constant is the time of day. Right now, my "new" doctor seems to think I have what is called a redundant colon and has suggested I get a CT scan. I would do that but again, I really need to save up money, not open up a can of worms with this. Unless it gets worse, or something changes, I don't want to go down that road. I do think the doctor is on to something as it is the only thing that matches up, I probably have IBS...correction, I do have IBS lol
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

I could have written this but mine was maybe 10 years. I just got used to it. I also went to the doctor with no results. Finally - I saw a guy talking about gluten and he described his symptoms which were also my own and I stopped gluten which stopped my boating and burping and the pain within a couple weeks - gone for good. I told my doctor about it and he said that it wasn't a proven theory but dude - it worked! 

These days I am flat as a board but if I even have one damn saltine cracker I blow up like a balloon and it is quite uncomfortable. Same with dairy - cut that out too as it was a secondary contributer. I do have eggs and some cheese once in awhile but no milk or ice cream or butter. 

Maybe try one or both of those and save yourself alot of money! I wish I had done it sooner.