"La Bohème" for the age of COVID-19

[LONDONER]

English Opera are hoping to make some productions available on line, but as one commentator remarked, since the performers have to "socially distance" just how will Rodolfo know that Mimi's tiny hand is frozen???

Well, since we are in 2020, he would obviously use a thermal imaging camera.

Thinking about this, maybe between us we could write a whole new "La Boheme" for the COVID-19 era so that Mimi would be working in a garment factory in Bangladesh and Rodolfo working for an NGO writing reports on the factory conditions.

Any other suggestions welcome.

[Cardiganwearer]

La Bohème needs no re-write for the present circumstances. Mimi has an infectious and (back then) incurable disease. She eventually has a coughing fit and dies. Not really unfamiliar territory these days.

For potential rewrites Wagner has some potential.

Mariner at sea for many a year with ghostly crew sets foot on land. Gets in with a girl called Senta who is ignoring social isolation guidelines by spinning with her mates. Both get a nasty cough and are denied a proper apotheosis.

Hans Sachs an all round good egg and quite the singer is denied his moment in the spotlight because of a sore throat. Beckmesser wins the singing contest and gets a record contract with Simon Cowell. He fails to prosper and ends up as a cruise ship entertainer. Cruise ships being what they are, fate wreaks its ghastly revenge.