06-28-2009, 02:28 PM
Right so last night was pretty wild, a cuople of my friends staryed the night we were drinking ect ect anyway drunk.
And i know it might seem perhaps too soon, but there was just such a burden on me and soo many questions were going through my head, ill try to explain the situation:
So mandy came round again and we tried again and again and again and i just wasnt happening for me, i just kept on going floppy, , like i would be fine like with the foreplay n stuff but when it came to actually doing the deed i failed.
that brought me to the question of i love mandy but am i in love with her, and it just kept popping up all through the night and i really dont like doing that to mandy, i made her wait 8 months (8 months today actually) adnt then theres the point of im 15 regardless of my sexuality do i want to spend all my time with one person, me and samantha were discusing this and she feels the exact same way about colin as in she doesnt want to be tied down as it were.
right so im upset the vodkas flowing and i wanted to tell claire first becasue i felt she was my best friend ever but then im talking to lesley (by the way there were boys at the party just incase you thought) yeah talking to lesley and shes really supporive of the whole mandy situation and then she tells me that mandy is jelous of the time i spend with other girls, and then i got angry as well so all the emotions are flying at this time, or so i thought, so i take lesley out to my roof tell her its important, so were sitting on my roof with my blanket and she tells me like her deepst secrit, which to my schock was she used to get off with her gril pals when she was at her cousins, then she tells me that on a drunken night her and kaitlyn have lesbian sex:eek: i was not expecting it
so i feel ready and i can trust lesley with my life and we were hugging and i was crying and i just sorta came out, and she was like its ok its fine a understand, like no fuss was made atall and she kind of understood me because she has a gay uncle and i think that perhaps explained the me going floppy on mandy am i just not attracted to mandy or is it girls or what?:|
support or comforting words anyone, advice comment what ever please??
And i know it might seem perhaps too soon, but there was just such a burden on me and soo many questions were going through my head, ill try to explain the situation:
So mandy came round again and we tried again and again and again and i just wasnt happening for me, i just kept on going floppy, , like i would be fine like with the foreplay n stuff but when it came to actually doing the deed i failed.
that brought me to the question of i love mandy but am i in love with her, and it just kept popping up all through the night and i really dont like doing that to mandy, i made her wait 8 months (8 months today actually) adnt then theres the point of im 15 regardless of my sexuality do i want to spend all my time with one person, me and samantha were discusing this and she feels the exact same way about colin as in she doesnt want to be tied down as it were.
right so im upset the vodkas flowing and i wanted to tell claire first becasue i felt she was my best friend ever but then im talking to lesley (by the way there were boys at the party just incase you thought) yeah talking to lesley and shes really supporive of the whole mandy situation and then she tells me that mandy is jelous of the time i spend with other girls, and then i got angry as well so all the emotions are flying at this time, or so i thought, so i take lesley out to my roof tell her its important, so were sitting on my roof with my blanket and she tells me like her deepst secrit, which to my schock was she used to get off with her gril pals when she was at her cousins, then she tells me that on a drunken night her and kaitlyn have lesbian sex:eek: i was not expecting it
so i feel ready and i can trust lesley with my life and we were hugging and i was crying and i just sorta came out, and she was like its ok its fine a understand, like no fuss was made atall and she kind of understood me because she has a gay uncle and i think that perhaps explained the me going floppy on mandy am i just not attracted to mandy or is it girls or what?:|
support or comforting words anyone, advice comment what ever please??