Taking a step back...are we done?

[InbetweenDreams]

Holy shit @"Pyromancer" that is scary and very sorry that happened to you.

There is a line which you don't cross, if you can put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself would this be awkward, would this come off the wrong way, if the answer is maybe, then assume it is and don't do it. Sometimes it is best to give them space and hope they get back to you, sometimes you can do more damage with what should be thought of a nice gesture.

Thinking on this a bit more I do think it has less to do with pride but more likely that he doesn't care if he's dating someone or not.

[Zurdoknoc]

I am just sending flowers with no note or word and was just a thought.  He is a business owner and he is the only employee so he won’t have to explain anything to anyone. He is a man with pride. He won’t make any move. He rather die than make himself look weak calling me back or asking to talk. Some men prefer to lose a guy than swallow their pride calling him back or reaching him out. Some man just need see that someone is genuinely interested in them and help them to clear their head.  I agree wit the need of space. It’s needed and I’ll give it to him but also I’ll be proactive and gentle to say hey I am here for you.

I'm sorry, and I truly mean no disrespect, but you're starting to scare me.  I was the victim of a stalker a few years ago, and you're starting to sound just like him.  He, too, rationalized that I would not make the first move.  His reasons for believing that were very similar to what you're saying.  He, too, believed that no matter what I said, I wanted/needed his attention and support.  It was a stressful, upsetting, frightening experience.  Please, give some serious thought to what you're doing.

So you are telling me I sound like a stalker just because I want to send flowers to the guy I am dating. Look at the definition of stalker because you put it there for me.   A nice personal gesture of care to put a smile on his face will never be confused with stalking someone.  I’ve done it before with him and he loved it.  He has done it with me too and I loved it.  There is so much to learn about old school dating and sending flowers to someone you care to surprise him will never fall in the stalker category.  I’m sorry I do not agree or liked your comment.  I’m sorry you felt stalked before.  Wish you all the best.

[marshlander]

@"Zurdoknoc" you asked for advice. Disputing the advice you sought makes it sound to this reader that you have already made up your mind and would have preferred confirmation instead.

Good luck with whatever you have decided.

[eastofeden]

Hi! After reading the thread and going back to your initial question - when I was dating - taking a  step back meant "I don't want to tell you I don't want to go any further" 

That was then though - not sure about today. 

I would initially say you guys were done in his eyes though - maybe take a step back and see what happens. 

Some guys don't know how to say "we are done" - do you think he might be one of those guys?

[Zurdoknoc]

Hi! After reading the thread and going back to your initial question - when I was dating - taking a  step back meant "I don't want to tell you I don't want to go any further" 

That was then though - not sure about today. 

I would initially say you guys were done in his eyes though - maybe take a step back and see what happens. 

Some guys don't know how to say "we are done" - do you think he might be one of those guys?

Thanks for your response. This guy is very very straight forward and he would have told me if we were done dating right away and don’t have sex as we did after the conversation. He responded to my other text saying he is still bothered about the whole situation and he needs time to calm and relax. He said he is not ready to talk yet so seems like he wants to talk. He said he will reach me out over the weekend maybe or when he is ready to talk and for now silence is what he needs. If he is done then what’s the reason go the talk he wants to have? He wanted to take a step back and evaluate.  We shall see.