Kabooby Wrote:I have discovered that a lot of guys are afraid or intimidated by disabled persons. I am visually impaired and in the advanced stages of COPD. I am told by friends that I am a pretty good looking guy, however I'm not a spring chicken, I still have a sense of humor and the gift of gab.
Most guys who I come across are totally turned off by the fact that I am visually impaired and seem to prefer a more 'perfect type ' of guy.
Is this just a geographical problem or does it exist everywhere. Any suggestions for me to let guys know that I am not a leper nor will I transmit my disablility to them.
Hello Kabooby, some here would say that the "gay world", if there is such a thing, is shallow. I would tend to disagree somewhat and add that we aren't all out there on the scene, which is presumably where you would meet such shallow people, or people turned on by perfection, or being seen or getting quick fixes of sex.
While perfection may be an ideal -- and you can't blame anyone to be looking for their ideal (each to his own) -- it is rarely something that you find in real life. Some of us, I hope, are realistic enough to accept the other as he is.
It seems to me that you have been talking to the wrong set of guys altogether, for if you have the assets that are yours, ie charm, humour, good looks etc... then you definitely ought to find someone who will find that charming too.
Well, Kakooby, the question is: how many people do you really want in your life? Are you just looking for occasional hook-ups, in which case you'll probably end up with not many, that's true, or are you looking for a lifetime partner, the rare person who will understand you and take only as much notice of your disability as you care to let him take on and deal with? Are you a shy person? Is your disability something of a sore spot to bring out in a conversation?
Much to your credit, you are not trying to hide your disability nor to pretend it's not there. It would be unrealistic to do that anyway. Only on the Net is it possible to invent yourself a completely new persona, who can bear little resemblance to who you are in real life. Basically, I think you need to talk, and if you can find such a person as the one you're looking for, you'll also have to accept that they have flaws of character or physical disabilities such as yourself, probably. Good luck with the search.