Am I too religious to be in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

Hi Friends,


I am a gay guy and single. I have never been in a relationship before.

I am following a faith whereby I spend around 1 hour in prayers every day in the morning.

I have a prayer altar in my home and my prayers consist of reciting verses from the scriptures, offering flowers, lighting lamps etc.

I really enjoy performing my daily prayers and I find some comfort and solace from it.

I wear a sacred mark on my forehead daily as part of my faith.

There are some festival days whereby I will perform some rituals and offerings on those days.

I also go to the place of worship once a week and it takes around 1 to 2 hrs.


Here is the thing. Do I seem as too religious?

Because, I noticed that many people in the LGBT community are atheists and many of them put on their dating profiles that they don't prefer dates who are too religious.

I am concerned that I will not be able to find a boyfriend because I might be seen as too religious.

I'm okay with waking up earlier than my future boyfriend and quickly finish my prayers before he wakes up. 

I'm just worried that my religious practices will put me in disadvantage in finding a boyfriend.

Will you be okay to be in a relationship with a religious guy like me?


Looking forward to your opinions.

[Bhp91126]

Nope, you’re not too religious for a boyfriend. Only if your religious beliefs and practices prevent you from being yourself, come in the way of making friends, inhibit your sexuality I’d say to review your religiosity. If your faith is as un-intrusive as what you described above, nobody interested in you should object.

Btw., shouldn’t there be groups of religious gays online searching for one another?

[calgor]

As long as your religious beliefs do not get in the way of having a sexual relationship with a man there should be no reason why you can't find a partner. Yes there are some guys who are purely interested in how many notches they can get on their belt, but I'm assuming you are not looking for that. You might want to check out reddit to see if there is a community of like minded gay people. I know for example there is a rather large community of gay Christians(search r/gaychristians on reddit) who offer support to others struggling with their identity. They also have an app for members looking to meet others in the group. Perhaps you can find a similar group for your faith or even try that group if it's not a requirement to meet someone of the same faith.

[eastofeden]

It is probably best to find someone else who is also religious - even better if they share your religious beliefs.

Alot of people and especially gay men are turned off by religion for obvious reasons so your prospects might be slimmer.

[InbetweenDreams]

There are a lot of people in the LGBTQ spectrum that are aithiest, or who are Pagan, agnostic and so on. Yes, your religion can be a problem for some guys, no matter what religion it is. Like East said, it is going to be much easier to date a guy who shares your religious beliefs. I dated a Wesleyan once and my god they were so snooty about their religion and when I was present at his school (he went to a Wesleyan University) I had to act a certain way because they don't approve of gay people. Anyway, ultimately it didn't work out over that and MANY other reasons.

That being said a couple doesn't have to share the same religion, it just depends on the guy. If your faith is something you worry about, put it up front, tell them about it, if that doesn't push them away see where it goes. If they become a detriment to the practice of your faith and you don't like it then accept that it won't work.

[Tjemka88]

I'm just wondering, what kind of religion requires you to draw something on your forehead?

[Anonymous]

Thank you for your replies @Bhp91126, @calgor, @InbetweenDreams, @eastofeden and @Tjemka88

Btw., shouldn’t there be groups of religious gays online searching for one another?

You might want to check out reddit to see if there is a community of like minded gay people. I know for example there is a rather large community of gay Christians(search r/gaychristians on reddit) who offer support to others struggling with their identity. They also have an app for members looking to meet others in the group. Perhaps you can find a similar group for your faith or even try that group if it's not a requirement to meet someone of the same faith.

Like East said, it is going to be much easier to date a guy who shares your religious beliefs.

The issue is that I come from a minority faith. I searched and there is no specific gay dating websites or apps for my faith. I think the best I could do is mention about my faith in the general gay dating websites or apps.

But then, it seems that I don't have much choice of dates if I choose to date someone from the same faith as me.

I always desired to date someone from a different faith because it will be a nice opportunity to learn more their faith and culture.

The r/gaychristians seems interesting. I always admired the Christian's custom of praying together as a family during meal times. It will be nice to hold my partner's hand (if I happen to be in a relationship with a Christian guy in the future) and join him while he is praying during meal times.

[calgor]

In fact there was a discussion of this a couple days ago on r/gaychristians. Someone raised the question of whether others would marry someone who was a non-believer. The majority said yes as long as the other person respected their beliefs. It's really no different than interdemoninational relationships in the straight community so as long as you're open to it there should be someone out there for you.

[Anonymous]

In fact there was a discussion of this a couple days ago on r/gaychristians. Someone raised the question of whether others would marry someone who was a non-believer. The majority said yes as long as the other person respected their beliefs. It's really no different than interdemoninational relationships in the straight community so as long as you're open to it there should be someone out there for you.

Thank you for your encouraging words @calgor

[KevCo303]

I think you're fine. There was a long time when I felt so out of my element, on the outside looking in. I knew that if could be LGBT then it definitely wasn't monolithic... but it still felt like it was and I didn't feel I belonged with that group or anywhere. Once I started owning the queer side of myself I became more comfortable integrating everything else about me and seeing people in a more natural light. I do think it's more of a rule that if LGBT people have a faith then they tend to be conscientious about it and aware of the healthier vs unhealthier ways it can be practiced, and we will hear a larger amount of people making blanket statements like "all religion is always bad..." This is a challenge to be our best and speak up when people of our faith are toxic, but not to be defined by blanket statements by people who might be insufferable!