Is there a specific sexual category I fall into?

[SilentFilm1988]

I do identify myself as a gay guy. I officially came out in 2011. However, I've never had a desire for anal sex and was wondering if I was part Asexual or something else?

I don't think suffer from impotency. I do get aroused, I do masterbate. There are some sexual things I've done and enjoy doing like kissing, touching, cuddling, etc. Those things can get me aroused. And I do have desires to date and be in a relationship with a guy.

Once years ago I had a bad hookup experience where i bottomed for a guy. I was aroused when we made out but when we started to do anal I went soft. Before this bad hookup experience I never had a desire for anal sex, and after the bad hookup experience it's remained the same.

So to anyone reading this, since there are many sexual terms out there is there one that applies to me? Is a bit of asexuality or something else?

[calgor]

I've seen several references over the years indicating that 20 to 30 percent of gay men do not engage in anal sex. Other than the relatively recent trend towards categorizing everyone I don't see any reason why you should feel a need to identify as anything other than gay.

[Cridders88]

@SilentFilm1988

I think there is a difference between having no desire for anal sex and being asexual. As Calgor has stated, there are a percentage of gay males that never partake in anal sex. My understanding of being asexual is to have little or no sexual desire at all, even little desire to masturbate.

So from what you've said I wouldn't say you are asexual. You just don't like anal.

[Scruff Bunch]

There is a category, actually.

Side

Not Top ⬆️
Not Bottom ⬇️
Side ↔️

Like me, you are a Side. For various reasons, and mostly just because we do not like it, we do not engage in anal sex. We like a bunch of other stuff, for example:

Foreplay, kissing, cuddling/spooning
General exploration of the body and its errogenous zones
Mutual masturbation
Oral sex
Fetish and kink
And more.

These are still sex. They are sexual activities. What are they, if not sex? Sports? Music or film? Jobs? No. They are sex.

Sex does not have to be penetrative. The suggestion that it does is a heteronormative fallacy. And besides, oral sex is penetrative.

We should also remember that being gay means sexual attraction to people of the same sex. Your sexual orientation is determined by the sex or gender of the people you like, not what you do with them.

Homo~ means "same"
~sexual refers to the sexual desire or attraction.

The word homosexual is a Greek and Latin hybrid, with the first element derived from Greek ὁμός homos, "same" (not related to the Latin homo, "man", as in Homo sapiens), thus connoting sexual acts and affections between members of the same sex, including lesbianism.

If you are a man, and you find sexual pleasure in being with men, exclusively, you are homosexual. You are gay.

You may find interest in looking up Dr. Joe Kort, who has cultivated the Side identity or category.

[allin4oral]

I agree with scruff, "If you are a man, and you find sexual pleasure in being with men, exclusively, you are homosexual. You are gay". I too am not interested in anal at all, but LOVE all the other sexual acts noted (mutual HJ, Oral, cum play, frot) and do not worry about labels to it.