Do some men have no intent to ever meet in person?

[SilentFilm1988]

Wanted to get some advice to see if this has ever happened to anyone else. With online dating aps you get to chat and make connections with people online. Then if there's a connection, meet up in person. But do some people just use online aps just as a "pen pal" kinda thing and never intend to meet anyone?

Over the past couple years, I can think of 3 examples of this. 3 different guys I talked to on different occasions. In each case, all 3 guys happened to contact me first. And it was great conversations. Got to know each others personality, even some flirting with mutual compliments about appearance. On each occasion, I thought I had talked with each guy long enough, around a month and basically just asked each guy if they wanted to meet up in person sometime to get to know each other. And each time after asking that each guy just went completely silent, stopped talking to me.

I'd love to get opinions. Do some guys get "weirded" out or something by being asked to meet in person? I don't think in this day and age it's "weird" to ask someone to meet especially if you've communicated with them for an extended period of time.

[Stefan Romir]

I no longer meet anybody, so, not only would I never arrange a meeting, I would decline one, anyway. If guys intend to penfriend their way through communications with you, they should make that abundantly clear in the first few days, then say no when meeting is suggested - they should also add it to the details of their account, here, in the "About..." section of their profile.

I am plain about what I want: (1) no meetings, and (2) any penfriend/s who happen to feel that they'd like to exchange emails with me, pretty much forever.

[Bookworm]

@SilentFilm1988 It does seem strange that they all ghosted you, especially if they were the ones that initiated first contact. The whole point of dating apps is to eventually meet up with someone.
There could be a variety of reasons they vanished; perhaps they met someone else, or just got cold feet, or thought it was too soon, who knows. At the very least, it would have been polite if they'd responded to let you know, even if they didn't want to meet, instead of leaving you in the dark.

[CellarDweller]

I've had it happen occasionally, but more often than not, I actually met people.

I think you need to set a time limit with yourself as to how long you are willing to go with no face-to-face meet up. Once you reach that point, you ask them, "So when do you want to meet?".

If they can't give you a direct answer, move on.

[jimcrackcorn]

Regretfully,, many people choose to elaborate a bit too much about who they want you to think they are, instead of who they actually are,,, when on dating apps or sites.. Weight, height, color, education, affluence, age, etc. is sometimes misrepresented.

When you ask to meet them, they have to bow out because they have fabricated too much about themselves and don't want to admit it... They actually put themselves into a corner that they cannot get out of,, so they stop communicating with you..

This is pretty much harmless pretending on their part, but it doesn't help them or you find a partner...

There is no cure for this activity,, all people want to put-their-best-foot-forward, and often exaggerate the truth..

It's probably best to ask to meet them within the first week... That way you don't get to attached, and they won't have time to turn themselves into Superman....

[InbetweenDreams]

@jimcrackcorn nailed it. I have seen people in my area who have used the same profile picture for like 10 years. The other thing that can be going on @SilentFilm1988 is they might be catfishing you. Until you meet someone, in public I might add, there's no way to know if they are who they claim to be. So always use caution and trust your gut and try not to get too attached which can be easier said than done.

[ChadCoxRox]

I miss the profile photo albums. The feature helped me learn so much more about GS friends and posters.

Do any of the "old timers" remember my Sophie? She passed away very unexpectedly a few years back from a bacterial infection. I had several wonderful photos of her and my family on the old GS profile.

Sorry for the reminiscing but it hit me as I was reading this thread.

I would always insist on knowing who I'm dealing with online before ever getting any unconfirmed beliefs about them. Photos, phone chats, face timing, whatever works. IF those are not forthcoming, it says a great deal for me.

I'd rather a creeper ghost on out than screw with my head or my heart.

[Stefan Romir]

I miss the profile photo albums. The feature helped me learn so much more about GS friends and posters.

Do any of the "old timers" remember my Sophie? She passed away very unexpectedly a few years back from a bacterial infection. I had several wonderful photos of her and my family on the old GS profile.

Sorry for the reminiscing but it hit me as I was reading this thread.

I would always insist on knowing who I'm dealing with online before ever getting any unconfirmed beliefs about them. Photos, phone chats, face timing, whatever works. IF those are not forthcoming, it says a great deal for me.

I'd rather a creeper ghost on out than screw with my head or my heart.

What put an end to the profile photo albums?

[ChadCoxRox]

It was a different version of the forum software and during an extended down time following a major crash it was "gone" upon return. There were LOTS of other cool features for personalizing your profile, engaging in social communications exclusively from ones profile and a cool chat feature on the main page. There are improvements in stability and use for our current version though, some I'd not like to give up just to return to the old version. I'd like to see the profile option return and would even consider paying a nominal fee for it, but it does incur greater time and effort investment for Andy. Back then Andy had more time and interest in his youth, as with most anyone and anything.

[ChadCoxRox]

I actually had a few different photo albums there with many photos sharing interests and aspects of myself and my life.