Here's my story.

[Ori]

Hi everyone. I've just recently joined the forum,but in the meawhile I had some time to read some of your coming out stories,and so I figured I'd share mine as well,I mean,what's the harm right? Okay,so here's my story.

The first time I started realizing I'm gay was when I was about 15 years old,now I'm almost 22,you do the math. Back then the closet was a comfortable place for me and I decided to keep it to myself for the time being. That is,until about 2-3 years ago. I live in Israel,and like a lot of other countries we too hold an annual Pride parade. It usually takes place in Tel Aviv,which is considered by most Israelian citizents as a very liberal city. The problem was that in recent years an argument arose-the gay and lesbian community demanded that the parade take place in Jerusalem. They claimed,and rightfully so,that other minorities also organize their protests in Jerusalem,as it is the capital city. Now,as I'm sure you know,Jerusalem is not only the capital city of Israel,but also a city that is sacred to all religions. I really don't want to open up this subject too deeply,I will mention this,however,just so you comprehand how serious the subject is-during one of the parades,a religious person,citizen of Jerusalem,approached one of the participents in the parade and stabed him with a knife. Luckily the participent was only injured lightly. Needless to say,the stabber was sent to jail. Ironically enough,this is one of few subjects that almost all religions have managed to agree upon-homosexuality is a sinn. Why? Lord knows.

This argument became so severe that it was covered all over the news-in the newspapers,the television and the internet. One day I entered the internet and saw an article about the gay parade. I read it,and afterwards I read the comments about the article. I wanted to see what others thought about the subject. You won't belive the things I read that day. So many homophobic and racist remarks,all in the same page,I couldn't belive my eyes. I was repulsed by every comment I read,absolutely disgusted. The very next day I told my friends about me being gay,and gradually I informed all my friends. Luckily they recieved it well. I also told my father,who also recieved it well,but I haven't told my mother yet,and she's a very religious person,but I guess that would be inevitable. I guess until that point I sort of felt the closet was like a hiding place,like it was protecting me from something and I didn't really know from what,what is so damn wrong about me being gay,but at that day I told myself-this is who I am,you either accept me the way I am or you don't accept me at all. If you can accept me like I am,that's excellent,and if not-well,bummer,that's your problem,not mine. I have to say,until that day I wasn't even planning on telling anyone,not for quite some time,but the comments I read and all the chaos that surrownded the subject were eventually the straw that broke the camal's back. Anyway,that's my story...

[m0pto]

Ori,
That's that's a real success story, despite you not coming out to your mum yet.
Many people would have read about all of that homophobia and stayed in the closet...

I visited our local Pride in Norwich this weekend, it was the first one. The only negative people I saw there were Christians holding up banners with quotes from the bible saying how we're all destined for hell!

I dare say if someone was stabbed it might have been the first and last Pride in Norfolk for a while.

You're a brave person to come out in such a hostile environment - I dont think I would've had the courage.
I had enough problems coming out in England!

[marshlander]

Thanks for sharing that, Ori. I find that quite inspiring

The troubles over relocating Pride to Jerusalem were indeed widely reported, but I don't remember hearing about the attempted murder before.

Yes, homosexuality is reviled by nearly all religions. I have a feeling that part of the reason is that we can be made into such an easy target. When we are closeted and in shame we can generally be ignored or quietly picked off one-by-one (or two-by-two :frown: ). A Pride celebration brings people face to face with their prejudices and they don't like what they see. We are the obvious, and generally easy, target and expression of that discomfort.

Most religions make heavy demands of their subscribers. I suspect the majority of followers find many of those demands too exacting. If their leaders tell them that God says being gay is wrong life becomes a little simpler. How nice to feel sanctified doing the will of a god!

Being ourselves, being out and showing that the priorities in our lives are no different from those in the majority of other people's lives is important. We are not a threat to anyone else. The only thing we threaten is prejudice. Having to confront and reason our way through our prejudices is a very uncomfortable process. Sometimes it is much easier just to lash out.

Do you think it might be a case that for some people in a country like your own, that has been experiencing war for so many years, attacking gays is one of the easier options in giving vent to fear and frustration?

[Mr.Dude]

In judaic religions the injunctions against homosexuality come from something of an obsession with balance as well as some huge trends in asceticism towards the fall of rome/begginings of christianity. Sometiems its kind of at odds with the vaguely homoerotic stories such as the relationship between David and Jonothan. David's soul was "knit with the soul of Jonothan" they kiss in private Jonathan disrobes himself to swear fealty in private chambers, weeping together and when Jonathan dies David laments saying that his touched "surpassed that even f a woman." The only justification given for the renewal of oaths is love and the renewals are always private so its not a political thing and Solomon gets his rage on when he finds it out "You have betrayed thy mothers nakedness" or somesuch thing I dont have the verse on hand atm.

Anyway supertangent! There are various reasons but it should be pointed out that not all religions picked on homosexuals and the attitudes kind of vary and change depending upon which religion or culture becomes influential at what time. China used to have a fairly bisexual culture in that marriages were only property arrangements and family alliances with romantic relationships -male or female- being completely normal. The focus in fact was more on one's position in society in relation to his partner and one's position in bed in relationship to his partner. In Rome and several other cultures it was obscene to be mounted by a lesser or an equal but to mount was just fine. I guess Romans hated fun? Anyway, this is all kind of secondary.

It was a brave thing you did though and Im sure your mom will take it better than you tyhink, I had the same misgivings about my mom but she took it better than I thought. In her own strange way anyhow, its still a little weird.

Me I dont think my area is as conservative as yours but Im still terrified of being open about anything so Im just kind of paranoid and slightly neurotic but I spose thats me. So basically, its awesome you could get past that etc etc.

So thats mah two cents

[Mr.Dude]

I believe I posted something maybe here or maybe in a wrong thread and somehow got rid of it as its not showing up when I refresh whereas it once did. I believe Im stupid or I really did something. Anyway: The reason Judaic religions look down on homosexuals is due to an umber of factors ranging from an obsession with balance to a major trend towards asceticism toward the fall of rome and beginings of christianity. Sometimes its kind of at odds with the homoeroticism to be found in such places as the relationship between David and Jonathan in the Old Testament but thats another story.

Not all religions pick on homosexuals though and there are many people who work to encompass such people into their religions as opposed to excluding them but the modern attitudes are largely dependent on who became influential and why and when they did. Religious views are extremely malleable to such things and it shows. Anyway in older societies it wasnt about the arrangement of parts so much as it was one's position in society as well as one's position in relationship to one's partner. To be mounted was feminine and demeaning, fit only for slaves or lessers etc but to mount was acceptable. Equals had to compromise. This is probably because ancient cultures hated fun but anyway, in Rome there were actual laws against it but they were for quite often ignored or had exceptions cut out for the greats. For example Julius Ceaser was called "a wife to all men (he was noted to have been amongst the cup bearers at another rulers banquet, the cup bearers all being the role of passive homosexuals at court) and a husband to all women" so its another example of legislation really not meaning much. But yes, it was primarily about social politics in alot of ways but the actual act of men (or women though not as much attention has historically been paid to lesbianism) having sex wasnt so much the problem as it was who was doing what.

Anyway thats a huge tangent, suffice to say I think its admirable and brave that youd be able to work through the huge social stigmas. Me I dont think my area is quite as conservative and Im still hugely terrified of the social consequences f being open and as such I am somewhat paranoid and neurotic so go me! I try though I suppose.

Im sure your mom might surprise you, mine did and she was a fundie who I had assumed the worst about. I mean shes still a little weird about it all but still Im sure theres a way.

[Mark]

Im just glad it hasn't been too hard or negative for you Ori