Hi everybody

[KeenAndFascinated]

Hi, I'm Danny from the north-west of England. I hope I don't irritate anyone with my post. I've had a totally novel experience which I need to share and I just don't know where or who to turn to! I hope someone out there will be sympathetic. mile:

I'm a 35 year old, straight guy; educated, but working class, kinda tough-looking but not insensitive or bigoted!
I've never had a single gay thought - I'm not in the least homophobic - it's just never been my thing... until...
I saw a picture of a guy recently and without warning - BAM! I had the kind of instant and overwhelming sexual attraction that equaled anything I've ever experienced with a woman - no thinking was required - my body screamed it at me!

I want to make it clear that though shocked and surprised - I feel no negativity about it - on the contrary, it's a wonderful feeling at my age to discover a new, exciting appetite. I still feel as though I'm straight, but who cares about labels anyway?
I really want to explore this new aspect of my sexuality (I can't stop fantasising about this guy!), but I'm totally clueless and intimidated- it's like being a kid again!

I know gay people are as diverse as any other group (I'm not totally ignorant!) but - generally speaking - how would someone like me be viewed by the guys if I went into a gay bar?
I'm really worried that (while I'm still cautiously finding my way) I'll be viewed as a lightweight or a nuisance. I know I'm (generally) considered attractive by women but I have no idea if someone as naive about this as I am would interest other guys.

In my fantasy, the guy is totally flattered by the fact that HE has "turned me" - PLEASE tell me that's true - I mean that a gay guy WOULD be flattered - it's my main reason to hope I have a chance of making it come true - I mean, finding and experiencing a guy like him (damn, I already have a "type"!:tongue
I'm really sorry if I've done something wrong in posting this. I need help and advice and if this is the wrong place - PLEASE can some generous soul point me in the right direction? Somewhere where patient gay guys offer guidance to nervous, but intrigued, straight men.
Thanks.

[Mark]

Allo Danny! Wow. First thought reading this? Wow you seem like a nice guy

Anyway wow for a new side of your life!! Okay my experience at straight guys going into gay bars is that the guys pounce on them? And turning is quite appealing to some.. But would it be turning if you are already considering a guy?

I think the first step would be well this.. speaking to some gay guys out there not launching yourself into the scene! Well it might work for you I guess.. But yeh :biggrin: Aye don't fixate on labels are you gay are you straight are you bisexual BLAH who cares - Just go for what you want! :biggrin:

Some of the guys on here could be pretty awesome at giving advice :biggrin: Sorry I've not helped much but welcome and I hope things go well You don't sound half bad to me!!! x

[CurtCB]

Sexuality ranges form straight to gay. There are a lot of people who fall between the ends of the sexuality spectrum. You may be straight with a slight inclination toward guys. You are comfortable enough with yourself to see wanting that guy as a positive thing. That is the most important thing.
Anyone who would not be flattered by you finding them attractive is a creep and you should not bother with them because they are not worth your attention. Just be respectful of other people's feelings and enjoy yourself.

[KeenAndFascinated]

Twazzle, you're awesome! :biggrin: I really need to hit the hay, but you're sending me to bed with a big grin (and an excited tingle, ). I hope I get the chance to talk to you some more. Thanks for your kind words

[KeenAndFascinated]

Thank you CurtCB... I guess in my heart I know we're all the same, aren't we - I just don't wanna make any clumsy faux pas... and I don't want to upset, hurt or offend people. Thank you for your sound advice.

[Mark]

Twazzle, you're awesome! :biggrin: I really need to hit the hay, but you're sending me to bed with a big grin (and an excited tingle, ). I hope I get the chance to talk to you some more. Thanks for your kind words

I shall look forward to speaking some time soon dude! Hope you slept well :biggrin: x

[albabonzai]

Hey dude,

There are many different things you may be experiencing, but without knowing you personnaly its hard to give an accurate view. You could be just curious, or going thgrough a mid-life crisis sort of thing or maybe you have deep down hidden feelings you blocked out of your head. Every one is different and without seeing someones facial expressions and body language as well its hard to tell.

Everyone is different, and no matter what people say what makes you happy, is truly the right thing. I have been in a few gay bars, however at the time i was 'straight' ( long story but for 7 years i kidded myself into thinking i was straight as was scared of mates, parents and works view ) and it was just a normal bar and i wasnt pounced on. I have been to a gay nightclub, i danced with some girls and a few guys but i wasnt pounced upon.

You should get out and try what life has to offer, age is not an issue and my genuine advice is to put a finger in every pie until you find the one that tastes the best.....

Come on chat my friend or ask more q's on this everyone here will give you advice from their perspective, most ppl will be diff but thats cause everyone is diff.

Nice to meet you.

Bazz xxx

[JetJenko]

Nice to see everyone being so supportive especially our younger gay peers - such wisdom and warmth in a scene that can be lonely and bitter at times.

Please don't worry about faux pas - life is too short and you are just discovering yourself - my discovery is being myself has helped me find great and lasting friendships - who isn't attracted to that in others.

I wish you all the best and keep safe.
x

[marshlander]

Hi, Danny, and welcome. Your sensitivity is appreciated. As far as I am concerned the mid-30s is when a man looks his best, so you must have it all to play for

By all means have fun. A lot of people prefer a bit of uncommitted action. It is a path with some difficulties, but if you know what you are getting yourself into (and how to get out of it again) you will accept the emotional turmoil (or its downside, a complete lack of emotional involvement altogether) that goes with the territory.

You will undoubtedly know the rules of safer sex from your hetero experiences, but do a little more checking up on any of the dozens of health websites to be fully prepared for whatever comes your way.

[fredv3b]

First, welcome to GS

I've had a totally novel experience which I need to share and I just don't know where or who to turn to! I hope someone out there will be sympathetic. mile:

Well, you've come to the right place then.

I've never had a single gay thought - I'm not in the least homophobic - it's just never been my thing... until...
I saw a picture of a guy recently and without warning - BAM! I had the kind of instant and overwhelming sexual attraction that equaled anything I've ever experienced with a woman - no thinking was required - my body screamed it at me!

To my mind that is a bit unusual to have no gay feelings whatsoever and then to suddenly have such a reaction. I wonder whether maybe you've felt attracted towards other guys before but maybe not recognised those feelings as such? Or am I barking up the wrong tree?

I still feel as though I'm straight, but who cares about labels anyway?

Just as an aside, if we didn't all care about labels why would we persist on using them?

I know gay people are as diverse as any other group (I'm not totally ignorant!) but - generally speaking - how would someone like me be viewed by the guys if I went into a gay bar?

I believe the first reaction of most of them would be that you are a face they'd not seen before and carry on what they were doing.

I'm really worried that (while I'm still cautiously finding my way) I'll be viewed as a lightweight or a nuisance. I know I'm (generally) considered attractive by women but I have no idea if someone as naive about this as I am would interest other guys.

Some guys may be attracted to you naivete, a few may be put off by it but I hope most of us would remember that we were once in your position.

In my fantasy, the guy is totally flattered by the fact that HE has "turned me" - PLEASE tell me that's true - I mean that a gay guy WOULD be flattered - it's my main reason to hope I have a chance of making it come true - I mean, finding and experiencing a guy like him (damn, I already have a "type"!:tongue

I can't speak for this guy, if it were me I certainly would be flattered but more than that I would be astonished. I don't think anyone is really 'turned' but events in our lives do sometimes reveal to us our true nature. But it is always nice to be know that someone thinks that one is attractive.

I really want to explore this new aspect of my sexuality (I can't stop fantasising about this guy!), but I'm totally clueless and intimidated- it's like being a kid again!

If I were you I would not rush into doing anything you might regret just yet, I think you need to explore and become comfortable with your own feelings a bit more first. You said that you saw a picture of this guy and was instantly attracted, since then have you felt attracted to any other guys since?

P.S. I apologise for any repetition of previous replies.