Is this really a bad thing?

[jade_ari]

Category: Romance and Relationships
So I went on a date with someone tonight. Well, first off, this just randomly came to me a while ago while I was tryna fall asleep. Anyway, this person was funny and very interesting all the times that we hung out in a group setting. He would text me funny things, and make me laugh, he was just an all-around great guy. So I'm totally comfortable around him, and he says he is around me too. GREAT! I'm thinking, this is terrific! Finally, he asks me out to hang out. I mean we went out for a light dinner type thing, I had a yummy artichoke foccacia and Pelegrino, he had basil and tomato toast and wine. Very nice time. We talked and just chilled. I mean it was perfect! Then as the night progressed I wanted to avoid us ending up at a club. I mean, to me that really isn't a date. So we just kinda walked around downtown Phoenix, (BEAUTIFULbytheway!), looked at places I had never noticed. Took in the view of the city. It really is fascinating. So we do that for an hour or so. Then we go a ways to get dessert at a coffee shop. We chill and relax yet again. Inevitably we go to one,(aclub) you all in the valley might know of which one I speak of, it's "one of those pissant places." Don't get me wrong now, I love that place. I just didn't want to go there with a date. So we go there and we start dancing, and then having a few drinks. It's still going fairly well, I mean we aren't blowing off each other for other people (nopunintended). Then I decide to go out to the patio and just have some fresh air, he follows and we sit there and start talking again. AND HE DOES IT!!! THE ONE THING THAT TOTALLY TURNS ME OFF IN A HEARTBEAT!!! THE ONE THING THAT TOTALLY ASTOUNDS ME ABOUT SOME PEOPLE!!! He goes into detail about his sex-life. I mean stuff like how many random guys he has gone home with, or that he thinks he has. Stuff like all the sexual encounters he's had. How he couldn't tell me how many people he has slept with. I guess I could understand his reason for telling me this, I mean he wasn't being cocky about it or anything. I just don't have to hear this right off the bat. I mean, I find that utterly disgusting. I can proudly say that I have never gone through the "whore phase", as one person put it. Seriously! All that did was make me feel different towards him. My interest went from, "okay, I could see myself dating him" to "Omigod, I shared a smart water with him a while back!" WHY do people feel the need to tell me this right off!?!?!? It should be something that is shared when you are near the point of saying, "okay, lets do this, lets be a couple." I will say I am responsible with my sex-life. As long as one of us is being safe, why share these gross things? Or at least share them immediately. I don't feel like I am doing anything wrong. My friends think I am being to judgemental. It's not that I am judging them, it's just that for me personally, I find that unappealing and unattractive. Not to mention tacky. I say save it for later, I don't need to know that right away. That is just a thought on something I had. It's a shame too........he really liked animals.

[CurtCB]

Guys are guys whether they are straight or not. It quite natural for some guys to feel free to talk about their "conquests".
Since he was on a date it was rather a cheeky thing to do, however keep in mind some underlying facts:
First he had been drinking, became uninhibited, and opened his mouth.
Maybe he was really turned on by you and was bringing sex into the conversation as a way to tell you he wanted to be with you. ( take that as flattering and not an insult )
He could have kept his trap shut, romanced you to the point where you wanted to have sex with him, and you would have shared more than some water.
Finally no matter how safe you are there is always a chance to contract something. If this guy was that reckless, then you are better off that he said something right off the bat before you developed feelings and perhaps gambled with your health and well being.
Guys like him are rarely satisfied in a monogamous relationship. Imagine if he would have kept his past a secret, love developed between you two, and despite his best efforts he continued to to sleep around.
I think by bragging about his prowess he probably saved you from a lot of pain and heartache.

[marshlander]

Interesting. I didn't read it as though he were bragging about it. I thought he might have been trying to clear the air from the outset so there were no misunderstandings if things got deeper.

I take Curt's point about the drink lubricating the tongue though.

[CurtCB]

Interesting. I didn't read it as though he were bragging about it. I thought he might have been trying to clear the air from the outset so there were no misunderstandings if things got deeper.

I take Curt's point about the drink lubricating the tongue though.

You are right marsh. I should have put bragging about his prowess in quotes. Which is how I meant for it to be expressed on my part.

[kitschcamp]

Interesting. I didn't read it as though he were bragging about it. I thought he might have been trying to clear the air from the outset so there were no misunderstandings if things got deeper.

I'd say the same. When I was young(ish), free and single, I appreciated people being honest about their background, and I did the same. It's only with all that sort of information that you can make an informed decision about how to take things further, what you will do, what you won't do, and what they may not feel so comfortable about either.

I think honesty is a good thing in areas such as this.

[jade_ari]

hmm...That is true. I guess I should have thanked him. Either way, we are still talking. I think that I may actually give him a second try. But we will see. Thanks guys.

[Mark]

Good luck with the second try :biggrin:

[jade_ari]

Okay fellas, Damien and I, oh his name is Damien, anyway, we are going out again this Friday. It's going to be a double date. I am kinda excited. Stay tuned.....

[sox-and-the-city]

Hmmm, buena suerte really isn't QUITE an appropriate expression, but i'll use it in want of bothering to remember what it is i want to say...

[jade_ari]

buena suerte...

hmm, it works for me Sox, muchas gracias!