Why can't I be a Top?

[peterpalencia]

Hi guys.

I have a problem with my boyfriend. Well, for me it's a problem.

I'm now in a relationship that has lasted 8 moths, and I am still with my partner because I love him so much, and he says that he's not been so in love with another guy like he is with me. He's the same age than me (19), but he is a little taller than me. In the relationship everything is ok, but in the sex I have a problem.

I met him one night, and we got laid (I was virgin). He told me he was versatil, but that night I was bottom completely. Then, we din't call or knew anything about each other for a month and then he called me, hung out, and then became friends. And then the problem came. When we had sex he didn't like to bottom for me. I love being his bottom but sometimes I'd like to take control, you know what I'm talking about. I asked him if I could top sometimes, and he became uncomfortable when we were talking about it. He said he had been versatil with every partner he had in his life, but now he feels not confortable being a bottom for me. Of course I didn't like it, but I acepted it.

He has had many couples, many relationships and I don't know why he is behaving like that. He says he is completely satisfied with our sexual life, and he enjoyes it, but I'd like to experience the pleassure of being a top somethimes. I'd define myself as a versatil/bottom. I need help, please!!! thx :S

[marshlander]

In a loving, healthy relationship each partner would normally be willing accommodate the needs of the other. In my opinion he would be wise to offer you some reason for this change in behaviour. If he can't talk to you, you should consider how much you want to be in this situation in, say, a year's time. If you don't like that prospect would it be better to walk out now?

Of course, the problem is really that you just don't know what has changed for him. It could be that he means "not now" rather than "never". Perhaps he's worried about being hurt? Whatever, it sounds like you really need to have some kind of discussion that obviously hasn't happened yet.

Good luck

[peterinmalaga]

Not only has he not given you a good reason, he hasn't given any reason. You should keep asking him from time to time but in a way that is not too threatening for him. When he is drunk it might be easier for him to say the truth. He may be embarassed about it. At the end of the day, what you want is action and not words and I suspect that the relationship might not last if he is not more considerate of your needs.

[kitschcamp]

... and different people want different things at different times. Heck, I've been through never ever wanting anal sex, going through with it but not really liking it, to being exclusively bottom, to letting the moment take me as it comes (so to speak) and taking whatever rôle works at the time.

You could try a good fingering and rimming, and see if that helps him open up, as it were...

[essexladuk]

Good point kitschcamp, was just going to say a little persuasion goes along way!

[curt-88]

tie him up and gag him and giv'er !!!! repeat as necassary.

[Yosuke]

I knew a guy like that once...he wanted to top only, and wanted to recieve on everything else (use imagination lol). So basically he didnt want to do any work at all unless it gave only him pleasure. That and poor hygeine made me call it quits after two weeks lol.