Well I need Advice on coming out, but different

[YoungPup]

Ok, I've came out to my parents about being gay, didn't go over well at all. Now they are wondering why I won't go to church on Christmas. I just recently changed from Catholicism to Agnostic to Neo-Paganism. Well recently to Paganism at least. Haven't been a Catholic for 2 years now.
Paganism isn't exactly accepted by the most open-minded. Some think it's all let's be Harry Potter for a day! Other think it's the devil's religion. blahblahblah.
My parents, they'd be like "Oh my Lord my son is sacrificing goats and virgins! I'm just going to drown him in the Jordan River and maybe beat the heck out of him with this here King James Bible."
I need advice on what to do. It's like I am in the closet all over again! How do I go about defending my sexuality and my religion? Why do people have to judge?

P.S. If you think all religion is stupid, please keep it to yourself. I'm not posting this to be criticized. Thanks!

~Puppy

[CardShark]

Thats not a bad religion has some interesting aspects of it.

But I don't think its down to defending your religion, i think it comes down to how you see it.
Coming out has never been based on defending yourself its been based on telling people how you are and what you feel.

But if you want to defend your religion attack theirs, thats my philosophy or just say feck off.

[boxerdc]

Alright..
You came out to them, and it didn't go well, but you're speaking..

Now, after you've given them one great big pink elephant in the room that they really don't want to deal with on the holidays, you're telling them that you're not only not going to give them grandchildren, but that you've decided that you're going to happily burn in hell as well..

Stop.. Breathe.. I can only phrase the above the way my parents would think it, so that's what I did.

I'm in pretty much the same boat, except that I'm simply an atheist. But, when I came out to my parents, and they still kept me in their lives, even though they didn't know which way to turn for a few months, the last thing I would want to do was smash another family value..

You don't have to go to church for you.. If it doesn't mean anything to you, then it shouldn't matter if you go and sit there, and just listen to the pretty music, and half listen to a old fashioned birthday story for a couple of hours.. FOR THEM.

Sometimes we do things for our family, even if they don't fit our values, because it makes life easier for them. Going doesn't mean that you have to believe what they preach, it just means that you accept that it's important to your family.

So, in short, my advice is keep your mouth shut about the religion stuff, and just go and sit there in church on christmas for your folks. It's the right thing to do for them, and for their holiday.

[Dark Angel]

Paganism (from Latin paganus, meaning "cock dweller", "rustic") ~ That from wikipedia, i tryed to read about it, to get a better view on it. but wikipeida just confused me and the line above i don't get either, just thought i'd put it there.

I have my own religion which is good as there arnt many religious people i know, which would abuse me for it

anyhow there's two options i can think of;

1) go to the church and have some family time.
Or
2) tell your parents the truth, maybe say you have a "new religion" and hope thye dont ask what it is, i higly much dought it. But if they ask just tell them and after a while if not after you tell them thye should understand and accept your choice. Then when they've accepted it they can go fetch your body from the river

Hope this helps in anyway...

[fredv3b]

Do you need to tell your parents? Could you just live with telling them a white lie that you are a 'lapsed Catholic'? I wonder whether it is different from telling them you are gay, being gay is about who you love and therefore who you would have round the dinner table at, say, thanksgiving, therefore it is closely connected to family. Would you want your parents to participate in Pagan rites? If not does it matter if your parents don't know the full truth?

I admit that being agnostic with agnostic parents I don't really have any experience with strong religious belief within close family.

[marshlander]

You have my sympathies. I have faced two similar outcomings, but I did it the other way round and many years apart.

Although it felt like coming out when I made it clear I was no longer prepared to live the religion my parents brought me up in they were upset (specially my mother), but they let me get on with my life. Others, though, would not leave me alone and kept visiting to try and help me "get over" my "problem". They couldn't cope with the notion that I didn't have a problem; any problem associated with my declaration of freedom was theirs.

How difficult is it going to be for you just to get on with life and say nothing? Your actions over the coming years will say most of what needs to be said. If you are going to their Christmas service you could invite them to your Yule celebration.

[Yosuke]

Hey I feel you, I'm in the same situation. I actually follow a few different paths, one being Episcopalian, one being Baptist, the other being Neo-Pagan. I only tell those closest to me what I truly believe in, and that I believe in multiple theologies. My parents dont need to know. It would be hard for the both of them I think, and I'd have to do it twice because they're divorced.

However, if you want some really good advice from people who have been in your situation, I suggest you go to this site:

http://mysticwicks.com

It's a forum much like this one, except it's for the pagan community. I've found it to be very helpful with all manners of questions and discussion. I'm fairly certain you can find or start a thread asking people about the best way to come out of the broom closet

[Amigo]

YoungPup: Be glad that you have people who care about what kind of temple you go to.

Nobody cares about my religion.

[princealbertofb]

YoungPup: Be glad that you have people who care about what kind of temple you go to.

Nobody cares about my religion.

I believe that religion ought to be a private matter of spirituality, and that, therefore Nobody ought to care about what your religion is. It's because of centuries of meddlers trying to tell you what you ought to think and how you ought to feel (and behave) that we've had so much trouble and so many wars. Why not just admit that we are all different and diverse and that it's no good imposing a form of spirituality? I'm sure my form of spirituality is quite different from other people's just because it's linked to who I am and what my experience of life has been up to now, which can only be personal, private and essentially unique: my own. I can share it with anyone who is interested but they cannot live it the way I live it from the inside.

[Amigo]

Religion, if shared by the people you love, can be a great social gathering.

I miss Christmas dinners and stuff...