as youve not heard enough: In love with bestfriend

[cnburn]

I know that this is a common problem but i really need help. I have been really depressed lately. Havent been eating much and havent been getting enough sleep.

Weve known each other since we were kids but it wasnt til college that we became close. He was dating this girl for about 6 years then, which made me think he was straight. It was only when i got into a 3 year relationship that i realized i wanted to be with him more than my girlfriend.

Later, they broke up, me and my girlfriend broke up and we both had a falling out. We didnt speak to each other for about a year. He moved back to the countryside and we both went on with our lives but i couldnt stop thinking about him. It wasnt until a few months back that we started texting again. He would text me out of the blue at weird hours and for no reason. Just to say hi or to ask what i was doing. My feelings for him started to grow again.*

Around 3 weeks ago he came out to me by telling me he was seeing someone. A guy that i know. I was hurt i didnt know what to do. I thought he had the same feelings for me. I got so depressed that i decided to come out to him as well and to tell him that i loved him. I wasnt expecting him to break up with the guy. I just thought i would feel a lot better. The problem is i told him through text and it wasnt as long and thorough as this post. It was more like: hey im gay too and i have feelings for you. Really? I never expected. Yeah since early college years. *Wow.*

We were never awkward after that. We still kept on texting almost 8-10 hours a day. But now that im home for the holidays and now that ive been out with them a couple of times already, i feel worse. I feel like i need to explain to him how much i love him. Should I? I think the reason why i cant move on is that i feel that he feels the same for me too. The guy that hes seeing is trying to reach out to me since im his bestfriend and all and i dont want to be the snake in the grass. I know the guy loves him so much and i dont want him to get hurt.*

Help. What do i do? Do i explain to him that i was serious and that it wasnt just a crush thing and tell him how much i love him? Or do i just walk away and try to move on? Sometimes i think if i am really in love with him. Feels like i do though coz it hurts like hell. *

[marshlander]

This is always tough. Have you thought about it the other way round? Be your best friend for a moment. How would you feel about someone else making a move on your boyfriend?

It sounds like you want to do the "honourable thing", whatever that might turn out to be, but reason rarely makes an impression on passion, so you will have to be very strong to do what you feel is best.

I want to suggest that you try and move on and let them enjoy their relationship. Even if their love endures, you will probably still have your friendships. If you make a move too early you risk losing them and not even winning the prize. I want to suggest that, but I know it's not that simple or easy.

Best wishes and good luck.

[James]

This is a tough one, Know that he has texted u as a friend, so maybe he isn't ready or just really considers u a friend, I would probably lay back and see what develops, carse usually It will fall through, go slowly, hope for the best, but know that I have found the best of my lovers in the last 2 years, look at my age, Jim

[Rychard the Lionheart]

Both Marsh and James are right, just be a good friend and wait for him to make the move. Just make sure that the boyfriend has no ammo to use against you to try and split up your friendship. I too suggest that you try and move on and let them enjoy their relationship, but let him know you love him and will always be there for him.

It going to be a waiting game, but remember things might not work out the way you want it to be. Thats life my friend, its usually sucks.

[cnburn]

Just got the chance to read your answers. I couldnt help it, i felt like i had to tell him before flying bak to the city tomorrow.

Last night during new years eve i had a little too much to drink so i decided to text my best friend. I told him that i was happy for the both of them and i explained everything i felt and how it hurt. He was shocked coz he said he never felt that i had feelings for him. He asked me how and why and i explained. And the he asked how i wanted things to go after all this. I told him that i didnt want to ruin their relationship and that i just wanted to get it off my chest. He took it well.

Did i do the right thing? I still feel like crap. I hope i could get over him.

[marshlander]

... Did i do the right thing? I still feel like crap. I hope i could get over him.

Who knows? You may find out in time. Try and get on with everyday life as best you can. It's probably best to act as though nothing more is going to come of this now. We never know what the future is going to bring.

Here's a for your hurt feelings.

Good luck.

[cnburn]

Thank you. i hope everting turns out for the best.

I just watched the movie "Love of Siam" and cried like a baby. Lol aaaah, feels good to let it out.