Came out to my best friend...and it sucked

[sox-and-the-city]

Hehe peter i knew you were forward thinking and all but do you butter your sex?? Seeing as you've had a lot of parsnips and all...

[marshlander]

What?? Is it an unusual saying?? I say it all the time, picked it up from an old friend who had a whole roster of sayings like that...

Not that unusual. I love the idea of it being spoken with a Scots voice ... I've only ever heard it said by Londoners and Welsh people.

[sox-and-the-city]

That'd explain why auntie Jayjay used to say it a lot then. She was from London. Well, sort of. She wasn't really my auntie either, but i still think of her as one.

[Hellie]

I would say to separate the issues because this sounds like a jumbled mess. You want to apologize for a few things (being possesive over him, snooping his room, ect) but you also want to stand your ground about who you are--a gay man--so if you don't feel comfortable talking to him in person, send him an email and state that you realize that you have made a lot of mistakes and apologize for those mistakes.

Then clarify the situations that he has misinterpreted. For instance, he feels that you became his friend with ulterior motives. Tell him this is not true. Tell him that your attraction grew from friendship and that's it.

Affirm to him that you are who you are and you can't change that, you do apologize for your mistakes, and that you do value your friendship with him and want to maintain that.

At the same time, I'd also add a few lines about how you can guarantee him that you will respect his space, his life, and his privacy in the future. The fact of the matter is that he is not in a position to trust you because you did basically break that trust when you snooped in his room. So, why should he trust you again?

You're human, you make mistakes, but you are hopefully recognizing those mistakes, and wanting to make up for them in some way because what you value the most right now from this person is his friendship.

Remind him how important that is to you, and then give him time to absorb it all and get back to you. Don't push too much, don't get too overly emotional. Just clarify things, apologize, and be as open and honest about how this situation got to this breaking point.

And that, IMO, is all you can do. From there on, the ball is in his court and he may desire to keep the friendship or not, but the choice will be his.

Well, I wish you the best of luck!

[tenkai2]

i guess what to me when i came out doesn't really compare to that lol

i think he'll come around
he just feels betrayed because you never told him sooner

[Dark Vamp]

My best friend is my roomate.

We used to spend hours upon hours just hanging out together. We were inseparable. He thought of me as a brother, essentially.

Unfortunately, I thought of him as a surrogate boyfriend.

Hey, i've had similar things happen when i have a friend and then all of a sudden things change emotionally for me and I start to develop love feelings.

I dont think ignoring each other is the way to go specially if you want him to be your friend. I think you two should talk face to face and see what is really happening. You will get cues in his behavior and words as to how he really feels.

But im not too sure what you are looking from him is his 'friendship' I think you love him and the thought of losing him is upsetting you. Its one of those things where you have to know your feelings and limitations.

Good luck.