if my family found out

[Anonymous]

well, how do i begin. First off, I came from a loving family and I know that my family loves me unconditionally. But I feel if they found out what I did this weekend they would be very upset with me.

I have been in desperate need of a career. I have worked for several different people in different kinds of work. I needed to make a quick buck to make ends meet. I am not a runaway drug addict or anything. I went to college, I am smart, and I know the difference from right and wrong.

However I went to a real popular city and while there partying, I was confronted by a production company to do a scene in a porn. I had until 2 days to give them my answer...that was this morning. I decided that I would. I was a month late on rent and my cell phone was shut off. I needed the cash and they were willing to pay top dollar. The money I would be getting paid would not only cover my rent, but other bills as well. So I did it. I shot a scene with a guy. They said that I did a great job and if I was interested in doing more work with them I could. They gave me their number and I decided to book another job with them.

The real problem is this, I feel like I let my single mother down and not to mention my two older sisters. I am the only boy in the family and am openly gay. I feel like this is an added insult to the sacrafices they made on my behalf. I don't know if I made a quick decision or if I was just intrigued by the money. I feel like without the financial pressures I wouldn't have made this decision.

If my family found out, which they might, I feel like they would be very upset. I am very confused and upset with myself.

I just needed to share this. I feel like trash and like I shouldn't even be talking with them.

[fredv3b]

What do you feel is 'wrong' with doing porn? It may not be what you ideally wanted to do. On the other hand it is your body, its yours to sell (if you choose to), be happy that you have one that someone would want to 'buy'. You've paid your rent and bills as you had promised your landlord, etc. that you would. So what do you feel is wrong with doing porn?

[albabonzai]

Got to admit, if i had a body good enough and some production company offered me some money to have a bit of sex on film, i would be quite happy to do it for extra cash :p My life. My body. My rules..........

[marshlander]

Guilt can be a terrible thing. If we do something wrong we can usually do something to make things better. You didn't actually do anything wrong, so you don't really need to feel guilty. You entered into a business transaction and were, I hope, fairly compensated. I'm sure you will take all the necessary precautions to keep yourself safe and healthy. That is not worth compromising.

To cut off communication with your loving family because you are exploring a path that is taking you somewhere you may not once have expected is being unkind to everyone. It doesn't have to be like that, does it?

Good luck to you.

[peterinmalaga]

Do you discuss your Mum's sex life with her? Thought not!
Why discuss your sex life with your Mum?
It is your life and it is up to you to decide what you think is moral and what not.
I am a parent. My son had a relationship with a (female) prostitute once. I met her and found she was a nice girl, no problem at all.
I think your problem is your feeling of guilt and I can see no reason for you to feel guilty. Perhaps you can explain to me what the problem is.

[princealbertofb]

It might just be that being gay was one hardship for his family even if they accepted him as gay, but being gay and a porn artist may be too much for his mum and sisters to take... Honestly though, anonymous, how likely is it that your mother and sisters will find out you have been in a porn flick or two? They'd have to be interested in porn to start with and gay porn at that. So it's probably going to be your (dirty) little secret until you can decide that you could (or not) tell them. Are you worried that they are going to ask where the money came from?

[Anonymous]

It might just be that being gay was one hardship for his family even if they accepted him as gay, but being gay and a porn artist may be too much for his mum and sisters to take...

This is it! I feel like all the work they did for me, putting me through college, helping me when I was financially struggling while in college. I finished with a degree, I just couldn't find a job with my degree. I also feel that if I did have a job, I would never have done this.

I am afraid of the reaction they may have if they find out. My sisters have gay friends who do like porn. I fear they mind find out through them. Then tell my mother. I heard a guy say it was very rare anyone will find out. You just never know.

[Amigo]

Share the money with your mom and sisters.

Buy some nice things for them.

Then they can't complain.

[marshlander]

Share the money with your mom and sisters.

Buy some nice things for them.

Then they can't complain.

You are a rogue! Didn't I know you at school?

Anon, it is one of the facts of life these days that graduates too often cannot find work related to their area of study. My son told me recently that he is one of only two or three people that he knows of (out of the hundred or so who started his course at university) to have ended up in a job in science. This at a time when, apparently, we are crying out for scientists.

You probably know that the way to single out a college graduate is when they say, "Do you want fries with that?" If you want to exploit your good fortune in being one of mother nature's favoured sons, and you can cope with what the work demands, good luck to you. Other people have to cope with smelling of chip fat.

[Amigo]

You are a rogue! Didn't I know you at school?

Anon, it is one of the facts of life these days that graduates too often cannot find work related to their area of study. My son told me recently that he is one of only two or three people that he knows of (out of the hundred or so who started his course at university) to have ended up in a job in science. This at a time when, apparently, we are crying out for scientists.

You probably know that the way to single out a college graduate is when they say, "Do you want fries with that?" If you want to exploit your good fortune in being one of mother nature's favoured sons, and you can cope with what the work demands, good luck to you. Other people have to cope with smelling of chip fat.

It is same here too... well not exactly... but sort of...

Here, university graduates are too expensive so we have to turn down applicants with bachelor's degree and wait for technical college graduates. They're equivalent to highschool graduates in USA or UK.