Problem need some advice from more experienced guys

[princealbertofb]

I believe that there are probably some things that are beyond our conscious control. You might be totally intent on ejaculating (the analogy with not finding sleep when you know you ought to sleep is a good one) and yet not be able to. But it could be either because you are too relaxed, too comfortable, or because, on the contrary, you aren't sufficiently relaxed, too uptight or tense about the performance, as suggested by other posters.

The fact that you can ejaculate within a given time limit when masturbating doesn't really give much indication of how things will work in a partnership.
The fact is that to ejaculate, a man must reach a certain pulse rate (so it's something to do with heart pumping speed). Sometimes fatigue will be the cause of delayed ejaculation, and sometimes it'll be a mental disposition that is contrary to the sexual performance.

The brain still remains the biggest sex organ, so being able to trigger that mood might be slightly difficult especially when not having sex with people that you love or enjoy. Does your mind play games with you and turn itself off while with your partners? Might I suggest you try more foreplay (not that it will necessarily help)?

In your case, it sounds as if you might benefit from a regular partner, not one night stands, now that you know the operative moves of gay sex. Work it out with someone you can finally trust to take YOUR interest at heart and be sufficiently patient about it. Then, it becomes a question of pacing for the two (or more) partners.