Alone and don't know if I hate or love it

[MegaFullbuster]

Hi to everyone who reads this and thanks for taking the time to do so!

Back when I was in high school I used to have multiple guys coming after me for awhile but most of them turned out just to use me physically and ended up tossing me aside. (I still can't believe the bad luck I had with that!) So I eventually decided to be celabit so that I could mature to the point where I would be ready to start dating again and not run into so many users. I was celabit until around last summer and I decided I wanted to start dating again and maybe actually have my first boyfriend which I have yet to have.

And well in all this time I haven't even been asked out once or even been flirted with. And I started to get very depressed because it seemed no one was interested and I was having such trouble meeting people, it didn't help that I suffer from bi polor depression and I ended up slipping into a deep depression that lasted quite a few months. I just recently picked myself up out of that and am holding it together. And I am a pretty loud person as in I am not shy at all but when it comes to flirting I become very, very shy. So when I did recently get up the courage to actually flirt with someone and they completely ignored me it didn't help things at all, and I must say that was very rude! They could of at least been nice. And despite all this sometimes I just like being alone, I know i prefer to have a lot of alone time so I don't know if a part of me is totally against a relationship or what and I am just very confused on the subject.

Maybe something someone has to say here can help clarify things

[Pickles]

You're eighteen, even though you're older than me I can say that someone will come along in time. They always say that you'll find something when you're not looking for it. Get on with life and live it to the full before you're bombarded with the committments that go along with a relationship.

[MegaFullbuster]

pfff pfff pff I suppose but I've lived life, I know what it feels like, I have never had a relationship or been in love. And they say love is the greatest human experience and that is definitely why I would like to experience it.

I am just impatient I suppose.

[Pickles]

Love will come, hakuna matata- no worries.

[SlipknotRlZZ]

Hi. :]

Yes, probably impatience is the biggest reason for the depression. But as you try being patient, you also shouldn't get used to waiting too long. :]
Have you tried meeting people online? Not straightly looking for a relationship with anyone, just trying to let out the part of you that you can't show to people in real life. Maybe that would help.
Then, being on your own is something that should really be appreciated because you yourself make the best boyfriend for yourself. Sort of. I got that idea from a video on YouTube. The guy (he is gay) said that in order to find a boyfriend, you have to be OK with being single. You have to enjoy the time spent only with yourself. I think that that is partly true and it may also help you.

You sound like a very nice guy. Hope everything turns out OK. :]

[Daniel6]

Get to do what you like, gym, sports, etc. When you become fit, they will naturally drawn to you :biggrin:

[marshlander]

Sorry to hear about the bipolar disorder. It sounds as though the condition can be very disabling. I hope there are some compensations ...

It looks like it's time for us oldies to move aside because RIZZ and Pickles look like they are on to something. Few people plan to get themselves into a relationship with someone who is particularly needy unless they themselves have messianic tendencies

In contrast, people tend to go for others who have a life of their own and something interesting to bring to the relationship. It's certainly true that one often finds a relationship when one is not looking. That's how it happened to me and my partner and I have enjoyed many happy years together.