Lonely and confused

[codis]

hi, im new to this, but here i go. im 17 and so so so alone. i have my friends to chill with and talk to, but their all straight, and even though their coolz with me being gay, its sometimes hard 2 tell them about being lonely. even though i have them i feel like i need something else. somebody to hold me and tell me everything will be ok at night and to tell me they love me. i have been looking out her in hawaii for some1 since i knew i was gay and have thus far failed. ive met plenty of cute guys but all their status quotes are "NSA" no strings attached. how messed up is that? and everyone else are way older than me. i hae no problem with older guys, in fact i know some sey studly ones but i want someone my own age. anyways, i cant get over this feeling that only part of my heart is beating, and that the other piece is constantly out of my reach and beyond my grasp.

[SlipknotRlZZ]

Hello and welcome. :]

Gentle and romantic souls like you are often times lonely in this world because they seek much deeper things than what is visible on the surface of life, if you'll forgive me that I allowed myself to define you.
I would recommend you tried finding nice people online, like in this site. I think that this would really help you feel at least a little less lonely. Then, you shouldn't worry no matter how much it hurts to be lonely and single. As long as you keep looking for the right person, everything will eventually come in place.
I don't know if this might actually help, but I think that writing and/or reading works related to what is on your mind may be very relaxing and may even bring happiness.
Don't worry. On this website you will find many nice guys willing to help and be friends.
Good Luck.

[DtotheJtotheM]

Being seventeen myself and homosexually inclined I can indeed relate to your situation.
For a long, long time I would obsess over the feeling of that want to be loved in that respect. It has probably already come to the point when you feel alienated. That's natural. It marks that you are coming into yourself and beginning to recognize that you are your own human being.
It's fucking scary at first, and is probably the underlying reason for why you want someone your own age to connect with you in a romantic way. I could give you the "It's not the end of the world, you'll find the right guy" speech, but I won't. These are your feelings and are yours to feel.
I will say this however, I would be inclined to think that finding the right guy isn't actually the issue. There's a romanticization of being completed by someone else that has become somewhat of an unhealthy social stigma. Out of my own personal experience with such things, I would say that you complete yourself by yourself first, and choose to be complete alongside someone else at a later stage. You don't need someone else to function - you are a miraculous and conscious form of life that can survive on its own. Try to recognize and utilize that before looking for another.
Sorry for the length, I am probably coming across as preachy.

[juk]

Hey codis,

I know its frustrating, and that really comes across in your post. Maybe you could focus on trying to establish some good gay friendships before worrying about finding a boyfriend? If you do that you may feel less isolated, and you might meet people who are not just looking for no strings fun

[shyguy]

I would definitely agree with DtotheJtotheM. I can't remember where I heard this but someone said you have to fully love yourself before you can love someone else. I took that to mean you should be able to make yourself happy before you can expect anyone else to. Still, I know exactly how you feel. I struggle with the same feelings. I just try not to think "what if i had a boyfriend?" or that there's something missing from my life that I can't provide myself. I don't know if that's the right thing to do, but it works for me. Hope this helps and that you start feeling less lonely

[marshlander]

Don't try and get over the feeling, but don't forget you have a life too. Get on with that and let the rest take care of itself in its own good time. They may not meet all your desires, but it's great to have good friends. Friendships at your age are very important ones.

May you find what you seek.

[codis]

thank you all so much all of your feedback has been very helpful.... i love this forum so much!!!! hahahaha...

[peterinmalaga]

Look outwards as well as inwards. You can only love yourself, if you also love other people. Say something and do something to help other people. Then you can really love yourself and will be more attractive to the right guy when he comes along.

[Lee]

Great advice so far!

all i would add is i think you are trying too hard! i was exactly the same, desperate to be loved, and know what it felt like. And then i stopped, and realised that love is not the be-all and end-all in life, there is far much more to it, the person who you need to love you the most right now is yourself. If you truly love and resect yourself you wont feel like you need to be loved to be 'complete'. And a thing i heard once which is so true, dont look for love, love will come looking for you!
Also dont get caught up in the whole idea that a relationship is going to be a big 'fairytale'. It can be emotionally tough, and you need to be prepared for that. You cant rely on someone else to make you feel complete, because that person may not always be there for you. (sorry if that sounded a bit negative)

Good luck with it all mate, if you ever need a chat about anything feel free to send us a message mile: Take care

[SlipknotRlZZ]

Now that I read all the comments, I remembered a video that might be very useful for you. Maybe you've already seen it, but if not, I hope you like it.