Really freaking confused
08-03-2010, 12:21 PM
Okay, I'm about ready to hand in the towel on this one, I just want to know your thoughts since I'm seriously confused what this person's problem is. I met a guy, went on a date with him. We hung out for the night, really hit it off, were getting along great. He hung out with my friends, they all got along, came back to my place, we had sex, hung out in the morning, and he left. We ended up getting in contact again and he told me he had a really great time, but couldn't do a long distance relationship. He lives like an hour and a half away. I told him I just wanted to get to know him better and that wasn't a problem and he thought that was really sweet of me. He then started saying he wants to come up for a whole weekend, and I started talking about things I like to do, and he said we should go camping, and we should go to museums in chicago and yada yada yada. He said these things not me. On our first date he opened up to me about a court case he had where he is being sued for allegedly raping a 5 year old boy. He worked as a camp counselor and word got out he was gay, and then a boy came out and said he was raped. There is no proof, nonetheless he had a 6 pm curfew for 2 years, gets drug tested once a month, and is facing 100 years jail time potentially. So on our second date he really really opened up about it and he just said he is probably going to get off, but when something goes wrong he shuts down which is really why he doesn't want to date anyone.
He continued to say this is not a hookup and made it pretty clear he liked me. He even said maybe it could turn into a relationship at some point and that he wasn't going to put any rules on it to say it couldn't become that. We went out to a nice restaurant, went for a walk that night, and really opened up about our lives. I never felt that way with a guy before and I've met A LOT of guys. There was something special there. Even sexually we were extremely compatible. Then he leaves, and the next week I contact him. He doesn't respond. I contact him again and he doesn't respond. We had made plans to hang out that weekend so I contact him about plans and he says he is now not sure since he forgot he a graduation party to go to that day so I said why don't we just do it another time and he wishes me a great weekend. Then that weekend I messaged him about bars in Chicago and he got back to me and told me all about which ones I should check out. he seemed pretty enthusiastic about it. Then I didn't contact him for maybe 5 days. I was going to wait until he contacted me, but I thought maybe since I canceled plans I should let him know I want to hang out again so I asked him what he was up to that weekend and suggested we hang out. He told me he was sorry, but he was busy already. So I decided to just ask him if everything was still good. He told me we're still good, but I want you to remember we're not together. I have fun with you as friends, but there are too many problems for a relationship right now. I told him I understood and I wasn't trying to be pushy, I just wanted to know what was up. He told me he was not trying to be mean, but just wanted to let me know his thoughts.
Then a week later I decided to message him and we talked for a little bit, about videogames, nothing that out there. And he said he had to go so I invited him to the beach to hang out with my friends that weekend. I thought it would be cool, chill hang out, no pressure, just friends type thing and maybe things would go back to normal then. He said he might be able to come, he had a play he was planning on seeing that day, but he said he might be seeing it the next weekend. He told me he would get back to me. And then he never did.
I just don't get it. I get the feeling I'm being strung along, but I don't see why he even bothered to get so intimate emotionally in the first place. I just want to know what his problem is because it's been like a whole month since we last hung out now. And he hasn't initiated contact once in that month and now he didn't even bother to get back to me about plans. I am NOT going to contact him again unless he contacts me. That is for sure, I think I just keep hurting myself by doing that. But I really don't get it. If he is done with me why respond in the first place? And if he is still interested, why is he being such a flake? We also made it very clear we were going to be seeing other people. But he is the one that brought it to the level it got. He dropped the relationship word, he was the one who said we should do all these things and plans, and now he is being a flake. I don't get it.
He continued to say this is not a hookup and made it pretty clear he liked me. He even said maybe it could turn into a relationship at some point and that he wasn't going to put any rules on it to say it couldn't become that. We went out to a nice restaurant, went for a walk that night, and really opened up about our lives. I never felt that way with a guy before and I've met A LOT of guys. There was something special there. Even sexually we were extremely compatible. Then he leaves, and the next week I contact him. He doesn't respond. I contact him again and he doesn't respond. We had made plans to hang out that weekend so I contact him about plans and he says he is now not sure since he forgot he a graduation party to go to that day so I said why don't we just do it another time and he wishes me a great weekend. Then that weekend I messaged him about bars in Chicago and he got back to me and told me all about which ones I should check out. he seemed pretty enthusiastic about it. Then I didn't contact him for maybe 5 days. I was going to wait until he contacted me, but I thought maybe since I canceled plans I should let him know I want to hang out again so I asked him what he was up to that weekend and suggested we hang out. He told me he was sorry, but he was busy already. So I decided to just ask him if everything was still good. He told me we're still good, but I want you to remember we're not together. I have fun with you as friends, but there are too many problems for a relationship right now. I told him I understood and I wasn't trying to be pushy, I just wanted to know what was up. He told me he was not trying to be mean, but just wanted to let me know his thoughts.
Then a week later I decided to message him and we talked for a little bit, about videogames, nothing that out there. And he said he had to go so I invited him to the beach to hang out with my friends that weekend. I thought it would be cool, chill hang out, no pressure, just friends type thing and maybe things would go back to normal then. He said he might be able to come, he had a play he was planning on seeing that day, but he said he might be seeing it the next weekend. He told me he would get back to me. And then he never did.
I just don't get it. I get the feeling I'm being strung along, but I don't see why he even bothered to get so intimate emotionally in the first place. I just want to know what his problem is because it's been like a whole month since we last hung out now. And he hasn't initiated contact once in that month and now he didn't even bother to get back to me about plans. I am NOT going to contact him again unless he contacts me. That is for sure, I think I just keep hurting myself by doing that. But I really don't get it. If he is done with me why respond in the first place? And if he is still interested, why is he being such a flake? We also made it very clear we were going to be seeing other people. But he is the one that brought it to the level it got. He dropped the relationship word, he was the one who said we should do all these things and plans, and now he is being a flake. I don't get it.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
