too love or not too love....

[codis]

hi everyone, seems i need a lot of help on here lately, lolz. this issue is a bit different from my last issue. i met someone who i really like however this person is WAY older than me. however he doesnt look or act older. hes good looking, kind, passionate, and acccepting of my darkest deepest secrets. plus hes not skeezy at all as i came on to him and instigated our odd sort of relationship. however i cannot help but realize that while i may like him, our relationship is doomed from the start due to the age difference (28 years) when im 20 he will be 87 and when im 40 he'll be 68. i cant help but think that this is too much of a difference. so now i ask your opinion. should i date him anyway, knowing that a heartbreak is inevitable and knowing im gonna hurt him? or break it off now before then? i so want to be with him, but knowing myself and the shallownes of gay life, i know if i find someone younger than him who is just as great i'd probrably end up breaking it off for that person.... aye yaye yaye

[SlipknotRlZZ]

I think you should go for it no matter of the age difference. Enjoy being with the person and let him enjoy being with you. Don't hold back. When the time comes to break up...well, you'll cross that bridge when you come to it (wow, I've learned something in ESL class lol). And then, who knows, maybe things won't eventually come to an end. :]
Good luck. :]

[fenris]

I don´t know ... I think 28 years are much to much... you must really, really, really love him. It maybe works for some years... but than ? ... 10 years .. 15 Years .. Ok .. but 28 ?
If I think I should have a boyfriend which could be my son... It would not work....

sorry .. perhaps makes the impression of superficiality but thats only my honest opinion

[NakedCity]

I can tell my stance on age difference will be an unpopular one on this board so I'll only say these two things for now:

You should look into what you want from this relationship. Do you want something serious, companionship, simple fun etc. then see if thats what he's looking for. From there try dating him and see where it goes.

Secondly, pay attention to that little voice that's telling you that your relationship is doomed from the start. It may be giving you the answer you came to gayspeak for.

[juk]

, our relationship is doomed from the start due to the age difference (28 years) when im 20 he will be 87 and when im 40 he'll be 68. i cant help but think that this is too much of a difference.

You confused me here! I had to get all fingers and toes out to check the maths on this one!

Age difference doesnt actually matter in reality, the thing that matters is the individuals, and what they have as a couple. I have a 25 year old friend who has been with his partner for some time now - his partner is 17 years older and it seems they will be together for a very long time. I have known other guys with age differences who didnt work out.

If the pieces fit into place run with it and dont worry about the age gap.

[peterinmalaga]

Is your relationship doomed? Yes. They all are. In 50 years most of us posting here will be dead. And 5o years is not all that long and most relationships do not last 20 years, if we're ruthlessly honest. What matters is what we do in the intervening time. So I would go with it for as long as you feel it is good for you and he feels it is good for him. Don't you think he knows that it is bound to end one day?

[codis]

woops typo... when im 20 he'll be 48... srry

[PrinceMuzic]

I was gonna say does this person happen to be Benjamin Button! Haha. Go for it. See where it ends up. All relationships are experiences and you might miss out on a great one by not going for it.



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[eastofeden]

There might be a specific reason you are seeking him out that you may or may not be consciously aware of. As there are never any guarantees with any relationship...I would say go for it and let it unfold...might be exactly what you need in the grand scheme of things.

I found in my first relationship when I was young it was an unlikely pairing (not an age thing as much as other things)...and I later figured out that I had some healing to do but I shut out the actual circumstances so I recreated them in order to work through it...happens all the time...especially at the beginning of our adult lives.

[Sil]

age difference shouldn't matter, and for the strongest of people it really doesn't. Society will probably think it's a little odd, but only you two know the depth of feelings for each other, and if you can over come that together then you should go for it; it's a tough choice.

My first experience was a little forced with an older guy and it did leave me with some negative attitudes towards age-play, but it sounds like you're past the young and naieve stage. Search your feelings and go for it, remember yourself.