Only attracted to older men

[Student]

Hello people,

I'm fairly new to being gay and accepting it and what have you - I think it has taken me some time because I also had to accept the fact that the only guys I find even remotely attractive are middle-aged.

I'm interested to know just how common intergenerational relationships etc. are and how the gay community looks upon them.

Before anybody says anything quite so Freudian as "bad relationship with father" etc. I'd like to assure you that I maintain a perfectly healthy relationship with my father, who I love dearly. I haven't got round to telling my parents just yet about my sexuality and preferred attractions. It's another great fear of mine. I think me being gay will be hard enough for them to accept but the added bonus of me not finding people my own age attractive can only make things even more difficult.

It's something I'm terribly self-conscious about and I know that I just don't find men my own age or even a little bit older at all attractive, I just can't help it. They're just the same as women to me, I can't feel anything at all. I guess I feel some kind of shame for my attractions and I don't know how to feel more confident that everything I feel is ok.

I don't really know what I'm asking tbh with you. I'd just like some opinions about how people feel about these kind of relationships or some information about anyone they know about who has been in one or had one.

Thanks.

[juk]

Hey there,

Nothing wrong with having a type you are attracted to! I think you will find the older/younger relationships are generally well accepted in the gay community. There will always be people who dont understand when they see something different to their expectations, but you will work out how to deal with that.

mile:

[fenris]

I think you make this too much thought ... perhaps it is not common, but a problem I do not see. if your feelings are like that. is it still ok.

[marshlander]

I am sure many middle-aged men would be delighted there are young men like you about

Take care, be safe.

[Genersis]

I personally see no problem.
Love is love.mile:

[Student]

It's nice to see some people who are open-minded about it. I have a great paranoid fear that the world will hate me for it. Or just judge me and think things that aren't necessarily true. I don't really know the best way to get over that though.

[Genersis]

The truth is they will judge you.
So what? Bet they'd judge you just for being gay too.
Prove them wrong, show them that there's no such thing as an age barrier, and that two people with a fair number of years between them can still have a stable loving relationship.

I had a 22 year old cousin who was going out with a 40 year old, my whole family were really shocked by this. And found it strange that i wasn't. I still don't get what all the comotion was about. They have split up, but age didn't have a single THING to do with it.

Just relax, and follow your heart.
So you seem to find yourself attracted to older guys? Great! At least you know one of the things you find attractive in a guy.mile:

[Student]

The truth is they will judge you.
So what? Bet they'd judge you just for being gay too.
Prove them wrong, show them that there's no such thing as an age barrier, and that two people with a fair number of years between them can still have a stable loving relationship.

I had a 22 year old cousin who was going out with a 40 year old, my whole family were really shocked by this. And found it strange that i wasn't. I still don't get what all the comotion was about. They have split up, but age didn't have a single THING to do with it.

Just relax, and follow your heart.
So you seem to find yourself attracted to older guys? Great! At least you know one of the things you find attractive in a guy.mile:

Thanks, that means a lot. I know you're right and people like you give me more confidence to relax and be myself. mile:

[Genersis]

You're very welcome.mile:

[lessthantom]

Hi,
I have a fantastic relationship with both my parents. I get on equally well with my mother and father. I am not out to them yet.

I have been in a relationship with a guy over double my age for a little over a year now. We celebrated our anniversary by going out for an expensive meal and with a bottle of champagne. We split the bill equally of course.

I have only ever been attarcted to guys a lot older than me (some of my dads friends are quite cute.) It took me a long time to accept it but unfortunatly that is just who I like. I get on with older people better than people of my own age. All of my best friends are my age but I like the company of older people more.

It doesn't make you weird or disgusting and it completely natural. When you come to terms with it and you meet someone that makes you very happy you will see.

I am lucky that have found that person.

I hope your feeling ok about it all.

Tom