confused :(

[safc21]

hey all i posted on here a while ago, i recently came out as gay this year, and met a guy who ive known since beginning of year, he was the first guy i shared any intimacy with, we were like love struck teenagers for a while, lust i thought, id never been in a relationship before, so wasnt quite sure how to approach it, all of a sudden he stopped talking to me, i was very confused, however a period of a few weeks he surfaced again, when i asked why he cut me out, he states he was worried people were tallking about us being together, so we continuted to see each other, im not ashamed to say i fell in love with him, and he/is my first love, however ive been told by others who know him to be acreful because hes quite loose with how he goes about guys, ive eased off a bit now, but i still get texts saying how i am, please come out and see me, he even admitted to me, he knew i was/am in love with him.
I just dont know what to do, ive been out and met other guys, but never shared any sexual or intimacy contact, simply just friends, i went out at the weekend, and felt very uncomfortbale when another guy approached i just didnt feel anything, ive not done anything with any other guys, am i in fear of doing stuff and losing my friend who ive shared the most intimacy with? should i move on, he was the first guy i ever shared any intimacy with, i lost my virginity to him, but the thought of doing it with anyone else puts me off.
thanks for reading
x

[fenris]

hm ... I think if he - only because people talking about you both - don´t talk to you and breaks the contact with you, he is not the right guy for you.
A boyfriend should stay on your side, if necessary he should defend you - not the others.
He should not care what others say about you or you both. What will you doing if really big Problems occure ? Then you only can see him fast run away ...
Take a break, give you some time .. and start again with a guy who it is worth to be your boyfriend....

[Vikta]

I agree with fenris... don't fall for the guy more than you already have if he's playing those games.

And just chill for a bit... making friends is great, but you don't need to rush into another intimate relationship. You'll know when you find the right guy


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[marshlander]

Sounds like he needs to grow up a bit to match you. You don't OWE him anything, just because he was your first.

[Sil]

it sounds like you've got it bad mate (in love), it's a really sweet time even though it doesn't seem like it but I went through exactly the same thing in my teens. Didn't fancy 'guys' as such but one particular guy when I was growing up. I think maybe it's how you feel safest when you're starting out, that you put all that trust in one person. The other guys showing interest in you probably just seem kinda shallow and risky by comparison.

It's sad he can't be more honest with himself as he obviously has feelings for you. It's a tough world coming out as gay and I always felt envious of those guys who knew they were gay from an early age; for some of us it's a lot more like groping around in the dark, sometimes literally >.>

Just learn to be comfortable with yourself, and if you show it with enough courage you may inspire those same feelings in him. Loving yourself and not living through others is a great way to appear attractive, as difficult as it can be. Best of luck x